2. Loss of responsibility towards the sense of human dignity of others: if teachers or lecturers fail to inspire the students by their example of ethical living, students will have no feeling of responsibility towards the human dignity of others or of society in general. Consequently they may: 1. Profit from natural resources at the expense of the environment: if the students are only interested in the short-term gains of a particular item of knowledge, but fail to consider or be taught about the long-term consequences (e.g They may pull up trees to facilitate access by profitable farm machinery, but in so doing cause erosion of the top soil) 2. Always put the blame on others: This is a very basic form of bias often arising as a result of never having been praised by their teacher or lecturer. Never having seen their teacher praise the good points of others, they assume that picking on others' faults is normal and they are the only infallible person in the world. 3. Persuades friends to be delinquent: For the con- venience of keeping company with those of similar habits as themselves, disillusioned students persuade their friends to participate in various forms of delinquent behaviour such as truancy or "doing drugs". 3. Loss of responsibility towards the sense of economic fairness: If teachers fail to instil self-discipline in their students, the students will have no sense of responsibility towards a fair economy, specifically by: 1. Unwholesome Livelihood: like selling drugs, petty theft, telephone prostitution or gambling; 2. Addiction to the Six 'Roads to Ruin': 3. Worshipping Money: When money becomes the most important thing, it is unlikely that a person will have any concern for the state of their family, of the nation or the religion. It is like the aphorism often heard on the lips of modern youth that "ideals don't keep the wolf from the door". A.2 Definition: Artfulness in Knowledge The word sbahEsEta' in the Pali means literally 'one who has heard much'. It refers to being learned by having heard much both in spiritual and worldly ways. A 'bahtsEta' is someone who is: "artful in knowledge" — choosing to study only the things appropriate for study — being a person learned in those subjects and observant — personal qualities that lie at the trailhead of the path to wisdom. Such knowledge allows one to be independent in earning one's living and will be the key which unlocks the door to worldly success. B. The Nature of Knowledge 8.1 The Three Levels of Knowledge If we want to identify the features of learning that will give rise to wisdom we have to distinguish wisdom from other sorts of knowledge. All sorts of knowledge help to illuminate the mind. When we don't understand something it is as if we are left in the dark about that thing. When we understand something it is as if light has been thrown on that matter. Knowledge in its most basic form, like the ability to do arithmetic or knowing where to catch the bus sometimes will feel as if it creates some illumination in the mind but it is just a feeling — because such an ability is restricted to the higher sort of knowledge we call "wisdom". In all we can differentiate three levels of knowledge: I. Theoretical knowledge [sutamaya-paiiiiA] The most basic sort of knowledge arises via the five senses, that is through the things we see with our eyes, hear with our ears, smell with our nose, taste with our tongue or feel by our sense of touch. You could call this sort of knowledge raw data. Touching fire tells us that it is hot. A child might want to know what fire is like. Their mother tells them not to touch it because it is hot and will burn them. The child will not believe their mother so easily. The mother might tell them not to touch it twice, but on the third time she will have to give in to the child's curiosity and let him touch the flame so that the child will know for next time that heat goes together with EFTA00286576

brightness. This sort of knowledge also includes the knowledge we receive by listening to information and what you can remember from what you have heard in lectures and read from textbooks. If you have never had the chance to apply the knowledge that you have learned then it may still be of limited use; I. Hands-on Knowledge [cintamayapaiiiiA]: The second sort of knowledge which is slightly more advanced is hands-on knowledge, the knowledge that has been the brightness is not yet continuous and is dim like a glowworm. Such brightness is not yet sufficient to identify defilements, but it is a good start; 2. It allows us to transcend defilements: When wisdom arises, it allows us to transcend defilements previously active in the mind. Problems which used to exist will be overcome once and for all. Evil in the mind is uprooted. It allows us to probe deeper into problems and cut off problems at their roots. It reflected on, tested and applied. However, even if you a 'It/Mows us to overcome our own faults and the world's best professor, your knowledge will not weaknesses. It allows us to change our bad habits. exceed this level. With this sort of knowledge you are Such knowledge is able to overcome suffering and to like someone stands on the water's edge and sees ripples change our own habits. It allows us to get to the root on the surface of the water. From knowledge or of problems. Such knowledge can actually kill experience they would be able to assume that the ripples negativity in the mind once and for all. Such are caused by fish under the surface of the water. knowledge no longer comes via the five senses but Whether the fish are large or small or whether there are will come instead directly via the mind that is still. It shrimps or crabs or shellfish moving under the water, you is not knowledge that comes from thinking. It is could probably notice from the size of the ripples. But knowledge that arises in the still mind together with because you cannot see the fish directly you are able only to make an educated guess; brightness. It is a sort of knowledge we sometimes 2. Insight [bhAvanAmayapailtiA]: A third and higher sort call wisdom or insight. If we go back to the scenario of knowledge is insight into deeper truths or more with the man standing on the edge of the water, challenging truths. However if we study meditation where through conventional knowledge the man further we will discover that even finding the solutions tocould do no better than make an educated guess, if simple problems in this way is actually causing there to we were to use insight to assess the same situation, it be illumination arising in the mind. The characteristics olwould be as if the water was clear and the man could wisdom when it arises in the mind: see the fish, the crabs, the shrimps or the shellfish without having to think about it. I. It will give rise to brightness in the mind. Wis- dom is the light which will chase away the darkness of ignorance. This is not just a metaphor for the knowledge but when we train ourselves further in meditation, we will see that brightness really is the operant feature of wisdom. The illumination of the more advanced sorts of knowledge is so bright that is is like compressing the brightness of a hundred suns into a single spot. It is by virtue of such brightness that we can identify and uproot the defilements usually hidden in the mind. For those who are new to meditation, The ability to harness the knowledge that arises from the still mind is an ability for which you have to train in meditation. B.2 Contrast between the Learned and the Wise There are several important differences between the learned who know only the theory of how to do good deeds (but may not practice it) and the wise who may not know much but use everything they know to boost their opportunity to do good deeds. Unfortunately, knowledge in the hands of a fool (or even a learned person) can be a dangerous thing. If your only knowledge is academic knowledge, no matter how clever you might be, there is always a EFTA00286577

risk of making a mess of your life. For example, if you have a knowledge of nuclear physics, you can use it for peaceful applications as an energy source — on the other hand you can use your knowledge to produce atomic bombs and the resulting holocaust towards human life. Thus ethical considerations need to go hand in hand with our academic knowledge, like a guiding light to give us clarity as to whether the application of our knowledge is good or bad, appropriate or inappropriate. Those who are interested only in academic learning, no matter how clever, rich or powerful they may be, can never manage to make themselves endearing or worthy of the respect of others and in the end they cannot make a success out of their lives. C. THE NATURE OF THE STUDENT C/ Sense of Responsibility for own Human Dignity In order for a student to protect their own sense of human dignity, they must refrain from the Four De- filements of Action: I. taking the lives or being cruel to people or ani- mals; 2. stealing; 3. committing adultery or have sexual intercourse outside marriage; 4. telling lies. Also concerning a person's responsibility to their own sense of human dignity, a person should: C.2 Sense of Responsibility for others' Human Dignity Bias gives us negative attitudes which may reduce our chances of success in study. If we are able to overcome these items of unfairness in the mind from the outset then the mind will be a much more fertile receptacle for knowledge: I. Learning based on Desire [chandAgati]: Desire doesn't need to be so strong that you are a Casanova. Such a person would have no chance of being a good student anyway. However, to a lesser degree even someone who is excessively fussy about what they do and what they wear would be unlikely to succeed in their studies. Those who study simply because they would like to become famous will find it hard to succeed in study. If you sec possessions as an end in themselves then we will have no incentive to study. 2. Learning based on Hatred [dosAgati]: If you want to study successfully then you mustn't be someone who loses their temper easily. You must be able to accept criticism without being scared of appearing foolish. Some people are angry only for an instant and then they recover quickly. Others are angry and it takes them a long time to get over it. They find it hard to forgive. Even later on, although they can't remember why they were angry with someone, they still feel angry with that person. They forget their respect for others. They think that they are superior to everyone else. Thus they can never learn anything from anyone else. By meditating, • avoid sentimentality about learning: those who awch people can train themselves to be less impatient. If not strong-minded in their pursuit of learning will not manakey also keep a baseline of morality such as avoiding to succeed in becoming learned; killing animals and insulting then they will find it much • avoid obsession with appearances: if you want toett§ier to acquire wisdom. to be a learned person in the future — you should model yourself on the stereotype of academics or monastics who emphasise only two things about their dress — modesty and cleanliness. 3. Learning based on Ignorance [mohAgati]: If you • avoid childishness: those who play around, neverare still acting on your own ignorance instead of giving take responsibility for anything and never taking anything things careful consideration before you do them, then seriously, will never succeed in becoming learned. you will find it hard acquire new knowledge. If your old ways of looking at the world are faulty then you need to let go of them before you can expect to acquire new ones. 4. Learning based on Fear [bhayAgati]: Some people lack confidence in themselves and their own EFTA00286578

knowledge. They are always afraid of the criticism of others. If you are afraid of taking decisions yourself, then you will be destined to always be led by other people instead of standing on your own feet. You will have no creative or original thinking of your own. If even you don't trust your own knowledge then how can you expect to make anyone else confident. C.3 Sense of Responsibility for Economic Fairness In order for a student to protect society's sense of human dignity, they must refrain from the Six Roads to Ruin: I. Drinking alcohol; 2. Roaming the streets at unseemly hours; 3. Frequenting shows; 4. Gambling; 5. Association with bad company; 6. Laziness to work fora living. Furthermore a person who is obsessed with personal financial gain will find it hard to make progress in their studies. A person should not "worship money". Those who see that material rewards are more valuable than wisdom will never go very far in acquiring wisdom. We don't overlook the importance of wealth — but on the way that it is best to apply one's wealth — that will be the subject of Blessing Fifteen. D. THE LEARNING PROCESS D.I Coming into contact with someone knowledgeable One of the hardest things is to find a teacher who will give the necessary encouragement to bring one's studies to fruition. The Buddha taught in the SilgalovAda Sutta that successful studies are es- tablished on the base of reciprocal duties that a student practices towards his teacher and that a teacher practises towards their student (duties collectively referred to as duties to the Southern Quarter). If a student finds a teacher that they think they can learn something from, they should start to learn from them. The teacher should practice the following five duties towards their pupil, by making sure: I. the student is well trained; 2. that the student is taught in such a way that he understands and remembers well what he has learned; 3. that the student is thoroughly instructed in the lore of every art without holding knowledge back; 4. to give praise to the student which raises his esteem amongst his peers; 5. that the student's security and safety in every quarter (i.e. towards parents, wife, children, employees, friends and spiritual mentors) is ensured, while pointing out the loopholes and weaknesses present in any body of knowledge. Meanwhile the student should minister to his teacher by: I. rising to receive them; 2. by serving them (in things which facilitate the teacher's convenience) 3. by obedience to the teachings or an eagerness to learn; 4. by personal service 5. by attentively and respectfully learning the arts and sciences If a student fails to fulfil their duties but the teacher does their part, the student is unworthy of the teacher — and it will be no surprise if the student can never become "skilled in knowledge" — catastrophe will await the student. If the teacher fails to fulfil their duties but the pupil does their part, then the teacher is unworthy of the student — and perhaps the student should look elsewhere for a better teacher — and catastrophe awaits the teacher. If neither the student nor the teacher fulfil their duties, catastrophe will await both student and teacher and their failing will have negative consequences for society at large. However, if both student and teacher fulfil their duties to one another, both parties will have a bright future and their behaviour will have positive consequences for society at large. EFTA00286579

D.2 Finding the opportunity to hear what they teach If you are still the sort of person who skips lectures and copies the notes later, you are unlikely ever to make a success of your career as a student. This applies both to the contact with your teacher and reading from the textbooks. It means questioning in order to further your knowledge.Whatever knowledge you learn, try to divide it up into these four aspects and study all four. Only then can you say that you have mastered that knowledge. Such an assessment of your own knowledge will prevent you from slipping into the premature overestimation of the amount you know and give you the encouragement to keep listening to people of knowl- edge. 1. Knowledge in Depth: You need to make sure that you understand deeply what you have learned. You need to know the roots and origins of everything you study (its past). If you are a doctor and you see a patient ill with certain symptoms by looking at their face you can tell immediately about the prognosis of their illness right from ten or twenty years ago. Don't go believing things simply because they are traditional or customary without understanding the reasons for such belief. 2. Knowledge in Breadth: You need to have a broad knowledge (the present) not only of your own narrow specialism but also about all the things that concern your everyday life. Even if you study the arts, you still need to know the elements of electricity because you use electricity in your everyday life from the time you get up in the morning to the time you go to bed. If you have studied science, you still need to know about the arts othenvise you will not understand how to communicate emotions, feelings and ideas from one person to another in different forms whether it may be written or visual. If you don't study then you can be the best engineer in the world but if you have no gift for communicating with people you will just be digging holes for the rest of your life. 3. Thorough Knowledge: Not only will you know your own narrow subject but you will know the connections which it has with other issues as if you know the influences of that knowledge all the way from the mainstream up to the edges. 4. Long-sighted Knowledge: You need to have a long-sighted knowledge. You need to know how things will turn out in the future. You need to know how one thing leads to another. D.3 Listening attentively You need to listen to remember — not just sit in the lecture picking your fingernails and chatting to your friends, with no idea what the lecture was about at the end; D.4 Memorizing knowledge learned [vAcAsa-paricitta] If you make no effort to memorize what you have learned, you will never become a person 'who has heard much' (A.v.26). Memorization is an implicit part of the duty of a monk and it is expectedof monks by the lay congregation. If the knowledge stays in the books, it is like having money, but having lent it all to someone else. If you want it back instantly, even though it is yours you cannot get it back instantly. Even though you know which textbook you can find a certain piece of knowledge in, you will go reaching for the book one day and find that worms have eaten just the page you needed. D.5 Reflecting on knowledge memorized [manasA- nupekkhitA] You have to digest new knowledge in your mind and look for causes and effects Meditating is the mostefficient way of 'digesting' new knowledge. D.6 Applying knowledge for one's own benefit (see Blessing Eight) D.7 Applying knowledge for the benefit of oneself and others (See Blessing Eight) E. PRACTICAL TIPS FOR BECOMING LEARNED Here are some practical suggestions for budding scholars: I. Choose only appropriate subjects to study which will not have negative implications for the hu EFTA00286580

man dignity of yourself, others or society at large; 2. Dedicate yourself— studying your chosen subject to the utmost of your ability; 3. Always be enthusiastic to learn new things; 4. Study spiritual knowledge hand-in-hand with worldly knowledge; 5. Remember what you have learned so that it is always at your immediate disposal F. ILLUSTRATIVE EXAMPLES F.! Metaphor: Lamp lighting the path for a long journey ahead Just as illumination is necessary to light the path ahead on a long journey, artfulness in knowledge is the pioneering virtue leading to prosperity in life. F.1 Ex. Buddha advises a brahmin to pay respect to Ananda (1196) There was once a brahmin who sought the advice of the Buddha. He said that it was obvious how one could pay respect to the Buddha and the Salgha, because they were already a sort of personality. However, the Brahmin didn't know how to pay respect to the Dhamma which seemed more abstract.The Buddha replied that if you want to pay respect to the Dhamma, you should pay respect to those who are learned in the Dhamma. The Brahmin asked around to find which of the monks was the most learned and everyone agreed that/nanda was the most learned because more than any other monk, he had heard the teachings of the Lord Buddha. Thus the Brahmin went to pay respect to /panda above the other monks, many of whom had more advanced spiritual attainments. F.3 Ex. MahAsutasoma JAtaka (1537) There was a certain Buddha who while pursuing Perfections as the bodhisattva, was born as a king called MahAsutasoma. The king was so keen to learn new teachings of the Dhamma that he would invite anyone who had knowledge of the Dhamma to come and teach him in the palace. On one occasion, MahAsutasoma was captured by an ogre. The ogre was going to put him to death. On just the day the ogre was going to collect him, it was also the day when he had made an appointment with a knowledgable Brahmin Nanda to teach some teachings left over from the Kassapa Buddha. In that day and age, there were no living teachings to be followed any more. There were no monks left any more. Later even if the king offered the prize of a heap of gold as tall as the person to give the teaching, there would still be no-one who had any teaching to give the king. Even if the king offered the prize of a heap of diamonds as tall as an elephant, still nobody could be found to give a teaching to the teacher. However, in the time of king MahAsutasoma, the decay of Buddhism was not so much that there were no teachings left any more. The day when the king was to be captured, someone had accepted an invitation to come and give a teaching in the palace. On that day, out of respect for the Dhamma, the king had first gone to freshen up and change into a new set of clothes in preparation for hearing the Dhamma. It was as he was washing that he was captured. The king made a deal with the ogre that it could do with him as it liked, but it should first let him listen to the teaching of the Dhamma, because he had already made an appointment with the teacher who was coming. The king promised the ogre that after hearing the teaching he would allow it to take him away for sacrifice. Even though the people of that time didn't know about the Precepts, they still knew about the importance of truthfulness. The king was allowed to return to the palace where the Brahmin was waiting. The Brahmin didn't even know how to explain the Dhamma, all he could do was to read out a piece of the scriptures. The Brahmin also had to wash himself before giving the teaching. He rinsed his hands with perfume before picking up the scriptures. He bowed three times to the scriptures and only then did he open up the scriptures in the most careful possible way. The subject matter of the scriptures were the words of a previous Buddha. The Brahmin could read the words and translate them, but he didn't know the meaning: Associating with the noble ones just once, One can be protected by that contact for the rest of one's life. EFTA00286581

However, associating with fools even many times, Will fail to protect you for the rest of your life. If you associate with the noble ones, You should associate with them closely, Because anyone who can learn the virtues of a noble one, Will know only prosperity and never know decay. Even a royal chariot that is beautifully decorated, Must eventually deteriorate and decay, In the same way the body that we possess Must eventually decay and die. However, the Virtue of the Noble Ones Never goes out of date and never decays. It is only the Noble Ones together Who can know each others' minds. The earth and sky are far apart. The two sides of the ocean are far apart. But they are not so far apart, As the behaviour of the nobles and that of fools. Before putting the scriptures away, the brahmin bowed to them again. Hearing just these teachings, the king was so moved that he cried tears of joy. The king asked the brahmin, "Usually when you read this scripture to other kings, how much do they give you?' The brahmin replied, "They give me a hundred for each verse." "These verses are not a 'hundred a verse' but are a 'thousand a verse"' said the king, and presented the brahmin with five thousand. The king remembered the appointment he had made with the ogre and thought to himself, "If I were to break my promise, it would only make my mind dull and guilty and I would certainly have an unfortunate afterlife destination — better that I go to my death with that ogre while my mind is still radiant from having heard the Dhamma." The king gave himself up to the ogre. The ogre was sur- prised that the king didn't show any sign of fearing death. It asked the king why he had no fear of death. When the king told them the Dhamma he had learned, the ogre was so impressed that it asked to take refuge in the king as its teacher and had no more thought about sacrificing him. F.4 Er. Tuccha-PoEhila (The Blank Scripture Monk)(DhAiii4l7-21) In the time of the Buddha there was an elder monk who was so learned in the Dhamma teachings that he had many disciples of his own. Many of his disciples had become arahants as the result of what he had taught — but he, himself, had not achieved anything. He had heard a lot of teachings but he had never showed any interest in practising for himself all the theory thathe had taught. All he had was knowledge — he had no attainments. Out of compassion,the Buddha wanted the elder monk to realize that he must practice for himself, so he always called the elder by the name 'Blank Scripture'. If the elder came to see the Buddha, the only thing the Buddha would say to him was "'Blank Scripture'— so you're here again?" For other disciples the Buddha would ask questions or give encouragement, but instead of giving encouragement to this elder for having so many students he just said 'Blank scripture'. Apart from this he would ignore the elder completely until everyone else was taking their leave. Again, the only thing the Buddha would say to him was "'Blank Scripture' — so it's time for you to go?" One day, the elder saw through his feeling of being slighted bythe Buddha and thought to himself, "What the Buddha says is really true — I really am a `blank scripture' — because I know all the scriptures by heart, but I have never used any of it in practice for my own benefit." He thought to himself,"I have spent all my life teaching others, but I have never taught anything to the stubbornest person in the world — myself." (Sometimes, even though you know what is good and what is bad, you still don't make any effort to change your behaviour. When the alarm clock rings in the morning, instead of getting up, you switch it EFTA00286582

off and go back to sleep. This is the reason why it is necessary to teach yourself regularly). Thus the blank scripture elder went to the most senior arahant he knew and asked for his help in teaching the practice of Buddhism. The arahant, knew what was in the mind the elder and knew if he made life too easy for him, he would never give up the arrogance he needed to shed in order to learn anything. Thus the arahant did not agree to teach him, but sent him to a more junior arahant saying, "That monk is still young and healthy — he will have the strength to teach you what you want to know." The 'blank scripture' elder went to the younger arahant, but the younger arahant knew the character of the elder again. He knew with his seniority, the elder would not pay much attention to anything taught to him by someone half his age. Thus the young arahant sent the elder to study with a novice who was an arahant. The elder was tempted to give up his search for knowledge because of the humiliation of having to be taught by a young novice! However, the warning of the Buddha still rang in his ear and he gritted his teeth and went to see the novice. The novice knew the arrogant character of the elder so he told him that to get a good result from the teaching, the elder must be up to his neck in river water to get any benefit. The elder thought, "I am really at my last resort — if I don't do as this novice tells me, I will maybe never have the chance to learn any more."When the elder was up to his waist in water, he had completely given up his dignity and hence his arrogance. The novice said, "Up to your waist is enough!" The novice taught, "There is a termite mound with six entrances. A water monitor is inside the termite mound. The way to catch the water monitor is to block five entrances and to put your hand through the sixth and you will be able to catch the water monitor as you wish." The novice didn't need to say any more. Because the elder was an experienced teacher he immediately knew that the water monitor in the teaching is the mind itself which is constantly thinking of things that are of no benefit, losing its energy via the six sense doors. If we want to train the mind we have to control the five outer senses (eyes, ears, nose, tongue and body) and purify the sixth sense which is the object of the mind. As soon as the elder understood, he immediately trained himself in sensual restraint and purification of the mind. By the end of the novice's teaching, the elder was an arahant, even standing there up to his waist in water. Because the elder had been artful in knowledge for so long, to become artful in practice was no difficulty. All he needed was to have a little reminder to make him think a little. Thus we can see that to be artful in knowledge is essential for one's personal development. EFTA00286583

Blessing Eight: Artfulness in Application A. INTRODUCTION Since Blessing Seven, we have already discovered the value of being artful in knowledge — but it is not good enough — it is also necessary to be artful in the application of what we know — the subject of this Blessing. A.l People confuse knowledge with ability Many people confuse knowledge with ability. Artfulness in the application of knowledge means that if you have learned an occupational subject, if you have learned all the necessary theory, you have to transform that theory into practice allowing you to earn your living. If you have learned Dhamma theory, you have to transform that knowledge into Dhamma practice. It is like someone who reads a manual of swimming who can memorize every page of the manual. He knows how many types of swimming styles exist and what all the differences are. When he has read the book, he puts it at the side of the swimming pool and jumps in — sinking without a trace! A.2 Why no-one wants fresh graduates This is one reason why many graduates are unemployed — they have only knowledge from examinations or from copying their friends. They have no practical knowledge. They expect to get a prestigious job in keeping with their prestigious degree and look down on almost every type of work. When they have only academic knowledge, no practical knowledge and they expect to choose where they want to work, who can they expect to want to take them on? If you don't want to be an unemployed graduate, you should take on any work you can find, to get the practical experience ever since you have not yet graduated. If you can transform your academic knowledge into practical skills even before you graduate, you will make an very attractive prospect for employers. There will be employers asking after you even before you graduate. Some people get themselves a prestigious degree in accounting. They take a job as a lecturer in university and because they can teach accounting in a way that allows their students to become successful accountants, they think that they are also a capable accountant. The lecturer sees that his students are richer than he is, so he gives up his job to start a business himself. Before long, his business is bankrupt and he has to go back to teaching! Only then would such a person find out the reality that knowledge and application of knowledge are completely different attributes. B. DEFINITIONS B.1 Definition: Artfulness in Application The Pali word `sippaO', meaning `one endowed with artistry' means someone who is skilled in application of their knowledge. The `bahEsEtal of Blessing Seven is one who is skilled in knowledge, EFTA00286584

but the person who has mastered this Eighth Blessing is one who can apply that knowledge fruitfully too. B.2 Sir Components of Artful Application Not all performances or displays of application of knowledge qualify as 'artfulness in application'. You can learn skills, but it doesn't guarantee that using the skill will bring you merit — therefore, before committing yourself to a skill you want to learn, you have to consider the merits of it first, for the harmony of society: If you are a sculptor, then why not use your skill to sculpt Buddha images that can bring inspiration to others? If you can draw then why not draw the sort of pictures that will inspire others to do good deeds? Even little skills like being able to make toys for one's children can help to stop wastage of family income on imported dolls and cartoon characters — as a guideline, bear in mind the following six qualities of applied work that demonstrates artistry: I. Must be refined 2. Adds to the value of the raw materials 3. Product of the work leads to creative thinking, not aggressive or destructive thinking: A motor engineer should use his skill to build engines to help people in their everyday lives rather than to build weapons to wage war. 4. Product of the work doesn't lead to sensual ob- session: Don't go studying the sort of arts that will stir up the passion of others — like cabaret dancing or strip-tease. 5. Product of the work doesn't lead to ilrwill or vengefulness 6. Product of the work doesn't lead to aggression: Don't engage in arts that will cause people to seek vengeance such as inventing war slogans. B.3 Three Categories of Artful Application Don't think that only artistic applications you can 'see and touch' qualify for fulfilment of the Eighth Blessing. Such skilfulness can be applied to body, speech and mind: I. Artistic Application in Body: This applies to various sorts of specialism or applied expertise, whether it be plumbing, mechanics, painting, design, sculpture, photography, printing or other vocational skills such as gardener, farmer, author or nurse — and further than that, having the manners to walk, stand, sit and lie down politely, dressing appropriately, being hospitable, expressing respect and behaving in a `cultivated' way; 2. Artistic Application in Speech: This applies to communication skills, knowing what to say and how to say it in a way to inspire the hearer towards virtue (more in Blessing Ten) 3. Artistic Application in Mind: This applies to skillfulness in thinking, having one's wits about one and creative thinking. In a nutshell, Artfulness in Application is artfulness in body, speech and mind. C. CULTIVATING ARTFUL APPLICATION CI Transforming Knowledge into Skills If you want to transform your academic knowledge into applied ability, you have to possess the following qualities (PatthanA Sutta A.iii.l 54): I. Believe in what you do [saddha]: You have to believe that you what you are doing is really beneficial and virtuous. You should be enthusiastic about doing it and have the confidence that you can make a success out of it. Some doctors graduate in medical science, but have no confidence in their ability to heal people. Some are more confident in their own ability to construct buildings. In the end, they become building contractors! They can achieve more success that way than they ever could by being a doctor! You need to have to believe in what you are doing if you are to be able to dedicate yourself to it. 2. Safeguard your health: Don't be the sort of person who bursts into coughs and sneezes when exposed to the merest cold draught. If you let your efforts destroy your health, it will be hard for you to succeed in learning a trade. A practical way to safeguard your health from all the possible risks is very simple — keep the Five Precepts strictly. If you neglect your health and go looking for things to destroy yourself by doing EFTA00286585

unhealthy things, you will find it hard ever to achieve success in learning a trade. 3. You must avoid arrogance and boastfulness: Those who spend all day speaking about what they will do, but never getting round to doing it, will never manage to master a trade. No-one wants to accept someone who is boastful as an apprentice. The only skill which boastful people manage to develop is the ability to find fault with other people in order to let other people know how wonderful they are themselves. By pushing others down they are able to hoist themselves up in the estimation of others. The habit of a boastful person is to take a very minor virtue or ability and magnify it beyond all proportion. 4. You must avoid laziness: If you have only knowl- edge but you are too lazy to do anything with it, then you will be no more than knowledgeable for the rest of your life. 5. Cultivate wisdom: Wisdom is cultivated by being observant and reflecting on new skills and techniques. C2 Instilling yourself with "Artfulness in Application" You cannot acquire wisdom just by eating and sleeping. You have to be active in your search for wisdom according to the following steps: I. Be observant of yourself and the things around you: It is all very well to say 'be observant' but in fact, it is important to know what to observe! In a nutshell, our powers of observation should always attempt to seek out the good and useful characteristics of the things we observe.You have to start by observing yourself first — because to observe yourself is theoretically the simplest. You should start by noticing aspects of your lifestyle, (for example our habits of eating or sleeping) to try to define what is appropriate or inappropriate and where the point of equilibrium lies for various factors. If you eat too much it will make you sleepy. If you eat too little, your stomach will rumble at night. You have to notice what happens to us if we go to bed late. You have to notice what happens to you if you get up late. What is better for you — to go to bed at ten at night and wake up at dawn, or to go to bed at midnight and to wake up at seven in the morning? Once you know how to be observant of yourself, you can gradually extend your observation to the things around you. We notice our clothes. How our clothes get dirty at the collar or around the cuffs. Notice what sort of clothes are suitable for what sort of situation. We gradually extend ow mindfulness to the things more distant from us — noticing how to speak to people in an appropriate way, how to speak to people to inspire them instead of making them lazy. Notice the characteristics of the things around you. If you train yourself to be observant even of yourself, the skill will soon be developed and wisdom will follow. 2. Train yourself to do anything better than best: Never look down on any work that conies your way. Never think any task you do is unimportant. Even simple things like your handwriting should be done with care. From the time when a child is young, they should be trained to write neatly whatever they do so that 'being careful' about whatever work they are to do in the future will be ingrained from the earliest age. Some people write with such messy handwriting that others can only barely decipher what has been written. Someone who writes like that since their youth until adulthood will soon get themselves in the habit of doing everything in a shoddy way — never achieving anything better than 'passable' quality. If you do everything to the best of your ability, skills and abilities will soon come your way without you even having to spend time looking for them. Even if you don't study the specific qualities of a particular art, if you are always observant of quality, and do things cleanly and in a detailed way, even though you cannot produce artwork for yourself, you will be able to tell quality in the work of others. Once you have trained your mind to be refined and to notice details, even the way you speak will start to be of higher quality — more based on reason and more confident (because your train of thought will be more systematic). EFTA00286586

3. Be refined in all you do: Some might accuse you of `nit-picking' but if you insist on high quality in your work, even in the details, before long, you will start to pick up artfulness in application. 4 Always look for better ways to do the same thing: Sometimes you can already do a task, but if you always look for quicker, more efficient, more cost-effective ways of doing the same thing, it will force you always to improve on your skills, never sitting on your laurels. 5. Apprentice yourself to a craftsman: Seek out craftsmen in the field which you want to master and become apprentice to them. Be respectful and helpful to him so that he will have the compassion to push you further in the direction of craftsmanship. 6. Meditate regularly: The art of training our capa- bilities of action and speech is rooted in ow capability to train the mind. Systematic thinking and observation can only be developed when the mind is well-trained. Training the mind through meditation will make the acquisition of other capabilities easy, because to be able to meditate is the ultimate skill — because it deals with refinement at its root. C.3 Applying knowledge for your own benefit and the benefit of others In continuation of the "Learning Process already described in Blessing Seven", Blessing Eight concerns the last two steps of the knowledge acquisition process which involve the application of that knowledge for the good of ourselves and others. Some people use their knowledge and skills only for their own selfish benefits. Sometimes they are afraid that if they teach all they know to anyone else then they will be giving away their trade secrets or that that other person may overtake them and make more progress than they have done. The attitude which is the most healthy for rounding off a body of knowledge that you have learned is to use your knowledge both for your own benefit and the benefit of others too. Like the example of the College of Surgery with the policy "See One Do One - Teach One" where capable students were not only those who could witness and perform surgery — they were also able to teach surgery to others too! In that way, all your mastery of the knowledge will not be limited to overcoming your own shortcomings — the application of knowledge can also be used to overcome the shortcomings of others. C.4 How not to instil yourself with "Artfulness in Application" If you want to learn artfulness in application quickly, you have to make sure that you are not the sort of person who can do nothing better than find fault with the work of others — unless you are training yourself to be a professional critic! If you have done nothing but criticise others, when it comes to your turn to show off your craftsmanship, you will not have the confidence to let others see what you have made or done — for fear they will criticize you in the same way as you have done them. In such a case, you will end up as someone who never achieves anything. D. ILLUSTRATIVE EXAMPLES D.I Proverb: He who knows but a single skill. . . He who knows but a single skill can eke out his livelihood with ease. D.2 Metaphor: Just as twigs... If you plant a mango tree, the benefit you get from it depends entirely on the amount of fruit. Even though the tree might grow a trunk, branches and leaves — these are no more than precursors for any benefit which may come later. In the same way, even though a person may be learned, this knowledge is no more than a precursor for the benefit that can accrue if the knowledge is applied. D.3 Er. Swimology (traditional) Once a young professor was making a sea voyage. He was a highly educated man with a long tail of letters after his name, but he had little experience of life. In the crew of the ship on which he was traveling was an illiterate old sailor. Every evening the sailor would visit the cabin of the young pro EFTA00286587

lessor to listen to him hold forth on many different subjects. He was very impressed with the learning of the young man. One evening as the sailor was about to leave the cabin after several hours of conversation, the professor asked,"Old man, have you studied geology?" "What is that,sir?" "The science of the earth." "No sir, I have never been to any school or college. I have never studied anything." "Old man, you have wasted a quarter of your life." With a long face the old sailor went away. "If such a learned person says so, certainly it must be true," he thought. "I have wasted a quarter of my life." Next evening again, as the sailor was about to leave the cabin, the professor asked him, "Old man, have you studied oceanography?" "What is that, sir?' "The science of the sea." "No, sir, I have never studied anything." "Old man, you have wasted half your life." With a still longer face the sailor went away: "I have wasted half my life; this learned man says so." Next evening again as the sailor was about to leave the cabin, "Old man, have you studied meteorology?" "What is that, sir? I have never heard of it." "The science of the wind, the rain, the weather." "No sir. As I told you, I have never been to any school. I have never studied anything." "You have not studied the science of the earth on which you live; you have not studied the science of the sea on which you earn your livelihood; you have not studied the science of the weather which you encounter every day? Old man, you have wasted three-quarters of your life." The old sailor was very unhappy: "This learned man says that I have wasted three-quarters of my life! Certainly I must have wasted three-quarters of my life. The next day it was the turn of the old sailor. He came running to the cabin of the young man and cried, "Professor! Have you studied swimology?" "Swimology? What do you mean?" "Can you swim, sir?" "No, I don't know how to swim." "Professor! You have wasted the whole of your life! The ship has struck a rock and is sinking. Those who can swim may reach the nearby shore, but those who cannot swim will drown. I am sorry, professor sir, you have surely lost your life.- You may study all the "-ologies" of the world, but if you don't learn swimology, all your studies are useless. You may read and write books on swimming, you may debate on its subtle theoretical aspects, but how will that help if you refuse to enter the water yourself? You must learn how to swim. D.4 1x SAlittaka JAtaka(1.107) In ancient times, there was a child with polio. His legs were so weak that he couldn't walk anywhere unaided. He had to stay wherever his friends put him. He couldn't even get up. Although his body was deformed, his intelligence was bright. He didn't look down on any subject. The child would practice flicking sand until he could flick sand a long distance very precisely. The boy used his skills to earn favours from others. The boy could flick sand so accurately that he could shoot holes in the leaves of trees above. Not only holes — but he could shoot holes in the shapes of anything he wanted — whether they be the shape of rabbits or tigers or deer. The boy would shoot holes in leaves to the order of the other children in return for sweets. The boy with polio had never studied in school, but through his skill, he had more sweets to eat than the other children every day. One day the boy was flicking sand on the sand heap for the other children when the king passed by. All the other children ran away, and the boy with polio was left alone. The king came to rest in the shade of the tree by the sandheap and when he looked up, he was surprised to see that almost every leaf of the tree had been perforated in the shape of different animals. The king asked how the tree had come to be that way, and found out that it was due to the skills of the boy with polio. The king thought, "the skills of such a boy should not be wasted at the sandpit." The king happened to have a something on his mind — every time he had a meeting EFTA00286588

of his counsellors, there was a particular counsellor who would interrupt and dominate the discussion regularly wasting the time of everyone in the meeting. The king asked the boy, "if someone were to open their mouth, would you be able to shoot goat dung into their mouth in the same way you shoot sand through leaves?" The boy said, "It would be a piece of cake." The king had the boy taken into the palace. Those with all health and strength never got the chance to go to the palace, but this poor crippled boy did. Every time there was a meeting, the boy was put behind a curtain in the room. Every time the counsellor in question opened his mouth to speak, the boy flicked goat dung into his mouth. The boy was so fast, that the counsellor didn't even know where the taste in his mouth had come from. The counsellor would want to speak but change his mind as a result every time, because he would have to swallow what was in his mouth. One day, the counsellor had opened his mouth so many times that the boy had used up a whole litre of goat dung. The king felt sony for the counsellor and was afraid he would get dysentery. He ordered the counsellor to go and wash his mouth out immediately and told him to reduce the amount he said or else in future he would get two litres of goat dung in his mouth! On future occasions, the counsellor had to consider carefully before saying anything in case he fell prey to flying goat dung. As the result of having more effective meetings, the economics of the kingdom improved considerably. The king rewarded the crippled boy by allocated all the money earned in taxes from a certain province to him as pin-money. The cripple became a rich man as the result of a single skill — because he put his mind to perfecting his skill. EFTA00286589

Blessing Nine: Artfulness in Usage A. INTRODUCTION A.I Place of Blessing Nine in the order of things The Seventh Blessing concerned artfulness in knowledge. We should be enthusiastic about finding any new knowledge either in spiritual or worldly ways as long as it doesn't have any negative implications for the human dignity of ourselves, others or society in general. Once you can avail yourself of such knowledge, then it is a blessing in itself. The Eighth Blessing concerned artfulness in the application of knowledge or "artfulness in learning skills". We should be enthusiastic about learning any new skills either in spiritual or worldly ways as long as they don't have any negative implications for the human dignity of ourselves, others or society in general. Once you can avail yourself of such skills, then it is also a blessing in itself. Already mooted in the previous two Blessings has been the difficulty of knowing whether the knowledge or skill we are learning has any negative implications for the human dignity of ourselves, others or society in general. The purpose of the Ninth Blessing is to give us the guidelines we need — to allow us to judge our own behaviour in action and word, so that the way we use our intellectual resources and craftsmanship bring no detriment to society around us or to our spiritual fuitherment. A.2 Objectives of studying `Artfulness in Usage' In our consideration of the value of artfulness in usage towards human dignity, we must always consider three levels of description: our own personal human dignity, the human dignity of others and the dignity of the whole economic system in society. Being disciplined or being "artful in usage" has benefits on three levels: I. Personal Level: Being disciplined protects and furthers one's own human dignity by protecting our health from self-induced illness, reducing possible obstacles in our spiritual vocation (especially those arising from unintentional blunders with the "defilements of action" [kammakilesa] and allowing us to develop our level of virtue from mere "discipline" [vinaya] to "selfdiscipline" [sEla] which is the foundation for the subsequent development of meditation [samAdhi] and wisdom [patiiiA]. It is said that being disciplined is the one major difference between humans and savages — thus by preserving ow level of discipline we protect ourselves from decline into savagery; Z Interpersonal Level: Being disciplined protects and furthers others' human dignity by stopping people taking advantage of each other. 3. Social Level: Being disciplined protects and furthers the humanity of the fair economics in our society by promoting compliance with the law and general harmony for society. EFTA00286590

Of course it is an advantage for the reader to know about artfulness in usage (or more briefly "discipline") and how to acquire it — but it is not until you become a disciplined person that you will really start to gain benefit from this Blessing. A.3 Knowing where to draw the line From person to person the intellectual resources and the level of craftsmanship may not be the same — however, the more the knowledge and skills a person has, the more potential damage they can do to themselves, others and society if they have no ethical discretion about how to use that knowledge and skill. Thus it is vitally important that everyone has -virtue" to go hand-in-hand with their knowledge — specifically the virtue to know the negative im- plications of any deeds they may do or words they may say. In society in general, we tend tothink that if what we do or say is not illegal then it is acceptable to our human dignity — however, the Law is really only a very loose guideline for what should or should not be done in society. To give a firm example, if a person can perpetrate a murder, but has no witnesses, he cannot be prosecuted in a court of law. Furthermore, the Law from country to country is different — does this mean that the ethics can also be localized? In some countries, the Law might even be undemocratic — so the Law alone doesn't give us sufficient guidelines for the preservation of human dignity at any of the levels of description. More detailed guidelines were provided by the Buddha in the form of a checklist of four items to be considered in order from the first to the last: 1. The Five Precepts: Does the action or speech con- tradict break the Five Precepts I. killing; 2. stealing; 3. adultery; 4. telling lies, and; 5. drinking alcohol (see below) — i.e. the baseline of humane behaviour? This form of discipline is spiritual discipline, concerning our quality of mind and the quality of mind of those who share society with us. We find that these Five Precepts are at the heart of codes of discipline of many different religions, whether it be the Christian Ten Commandments, Islamic law, the 16 rules of Hindu conduct. 2. The Five Virtues: Does the action or speech con- tradict the Five Virtues [palicadhamma] of I. com- passion; 2. right-livelihood; 3. sexual-restraint; 4. truthfulness, and; 5. awareness? — see Blessing Sixteen. This form of discipline is spiritual discipline, concerning our quality of mind and the quality of mind of those who share society with us. 3. Local Law: Does the action or speech contradict the local law? This form of discipline is worldly or material discipline, concerning our quality of life and the quality of life of those who share society with us. 4. Local Custom: Does the action or speech contradict the local custom? This form of discipline is worldly or material discipline and concerns social harmony and solidarity. Thus if an action goes against the Five Precepts, even if it doesn't break the Law, it should not be done. Also, even if it doesn't break the law notto do something, but omitting to do something goes against the local custom, perhaps this is a good reason to comply, at least for harmony on the local level (but of course, it should not break the Five Precepts). B. DEFINITIONS B.1 Definition: Artfulness in Usage The root of the Pali word for `artfulness in usage' or 'discipline' is 'vinaya' comes from two stems `vi' and 'ney'. `My' means something that leads you. 'Vi' can mean any of three things: 'good', `revealed' or 'different'. Thus in compound the definition of the word `vinaya' means `leads you to good' or 'leads you to brightness' or `leads you to something different'. Leading one to goodness, means that it takes you away from evil. Leading one to revelation means that it allows us to see a person as they really are. Leading one to be different means that it raises one above people in general. The actual meaning of the word is `rulesor regulations to restrain ourselves in body and word to avoid causing suffering to ourselves or others'. Notice that vinaya' doesn't restrain the mind directly, but in effect, it has a positive effect on the mind too because bodily action and speech originate in the EFTA00286591

mind. When we can avoid causing suffering to our- selves or others, we set ourselves on the path to goodness, revelation and difference from others in general. `Vinaya' will be the virtue that tells us what is appropriate and inappropriate to do or say or look at or eat. R2 Definition: Self-Discipline When people think of Precepts, they often mistakenly think that Precepts are nothing more than prohibitions. In fact the meaning of the Pali word for `Precepts' i.e. 'sElal means 'the norm' or `cooling'. Precepts mean the level of virtue that is normal for human beings to have. It is a norm that distinguishes men from savages or from animals. It is for this reason that we differentiate `vinaya' from 'sEla' by calling the latter "self-discipline". As we shall see "self-discipline" is the result of training yourself in "discipline". It is a state of mind rather than a set of rules to follow. R3 The Difference between Discipline & Self-Discipline Discipline is the means by which we restrain (the manifesting of) unwholesome actions and speech. When one is new to discipline, the mind is usually still reluctant. Many thoughts will go through the mind to protest at the inconvenience of behaving in a disciplined way. Such thoughts do not constitutea breach of discipline because they are not manifest. Apart from protecting the practitioner from degradation of behaviour into any of the Four Defilements of Action [kammakilesa], discipline will gradually channel the mind into the development of "self-discipline". Self-discipline is the attainment of restraint of unwholesome thought as well as unwholesome action and speech. At this point there is no further reluctance in the mind any more. One has managed to be "a teacher to oneself" sufficiently well to be able to police one's body, speech and mind without the need for any further rules or regulations to force such behaviours. B.4 Different Types of Discipline There are different sets of codes of conduct which can be used for training in discipline. Some are suitable for laypeople. Others are suitable for monks. They work on the principle of the "principle of limi tation" because as KierIcegaard wrote in Either/Or: A Fragment of Life: Pan One (1843): "The more a person limits themselves,the more resourceful he becomes" (p.289-91) In Buddhism, it is not by arbitrary rules that we limit ourselves — we choose rules that also ensure protection of the human dignity of ourselves, others and society — but it is true that the more intensive the level of practice, the more rules of training we tend to keep. B.4.I Discipline for Householders BA.I.1 Five Precepts The Five Precepts [palica-sEla] are the basic set of discipline advocated for every Buddhist. The Five Precepts are much older than Buddhism, but were adopted by Buddhism amongst many other religions as the core practice for moral conduct. Elements of the same principles are found in the Ten Commandments, Islamic Law and even Hindu practices. This is because the Five Precepts protect against a person taking advantage of the weaknesses of himself and others. There is nothing that people love more than their own life, their possessions, their spouse and trust. There is nothing that disables people more than the loss of their own clear conscience. These five weaknesses in human relationships are guarded by the Five Precepts. Such weaknesses are not exclusive to Buddhists, but apply for all people in the world, therefore the Five Precepts are the fundemental bedrock of all morality. The Precepts themselves consist of five rules of training: 1. Not to kill living beings 2. Not to steal 3. Not to commit adultery 4. Not to tell lies 5. Not knowingly to drink alcohol or consume in- toxicants. By keeping the Five Precepts people can ensure harmony for society and also prevent many of the roots of suffering. The Precepts bring coolness to the mind and body — there is no burning caused by suffering in body and mind as the result. EFTA00286592

The Five Precepts share the same Pali word -paiicasEla" as the five principles upon which Sukarno founded the Indonesian Constitution — but don't go thinking that Indonesian Law is founded on Buddhist Principles because on closer examination, the five basic principles of the Indonesian Constitution turn out to be something else completely. The Five Precepts are intended to be kept by Buddhist householders on a daily basis. B.4.1.2 Eight Precepts The Eight Precepts are a set of rules of training which expand on the Five Precepts with adjustment of the third and fifth precepts and addition of the sixth, seventh and eighth. The Precepts themselves consist of eight rules of training: I. Not to kill living beings 2. Not to steal 3. Not to be uncelibate 4. Not to tell lies 5. Not to drink alcohol or consume intoxicants 6. Not to take meals between midday and dawn 7. Not to indulge in romantic entertainment or im- modesty 8. Not to be indulgent in one's sleeping habits They are intended to be kept by Buddhist householders during times of intensified training, especially on meditation retreats or for self-purification on a periodic basis, such as one or twice a week. Eight precepts is sometimes called `uposatha-sEla' where the Eight Precepts are kept for three days before, during and after one of the quarter moon days. The only real difference is the length of time one expects to keep them. The content is the same but for uposatha-sEla, usually, one will only keep them on the MI moon days with the possibility of one day before for preparation and one day after for debriefing. For Eight Precepts the length of time the precepts are kept has no special duration. 11.4.2 Discipline for Monastics 11.4.2.1 Ten Precepts The Ten Precepts are a set of rules of training which expand on the Eight Precepts with adjustment of the seventh precept and addition of the tenth. The Precepts themselves consist of ten rules of training: I. Not to kill living beings 2. Not to steal 3. Not to be uncelibate 4. Not to tell lies 5. Not to drink alcohol or consume intoxicants 6. Not to take meals between midday and dawn 7. Not to indulge in romantic entertainment 8. Not to indulge in immodesty 9. Not to be indulgent in one's sleeping habits 10. Not to handle gold or silver They are intended to be kept by Buddhist novices on a daily basis BA2.2 Two-Hundred & Twenty-Seven Precepts As Buddhists train themselves as laypeopleand as monks, Buddhist spiritual discipline can be divided into two parts accordingly: discipline for the homeless [artagAriyavinaya] and discipline for the householder [agAriyavinaya]. The monks have special discipline in keeping with their aim to reach an end of defilements within the shortest possible time. For the monastic community, eradication of defilements in the mind is intensive, so the self-discipline of monastics is intensive accordingly. The 227 Precepts are a set of rules of training which expand on the Ten Precepts. They are intended to be kept by fully-ordained Buddhist monks on a daily basis. C. DISCIPLINE: PRACTICAL CONSIDERATIONS Cl Components of Five Precepts In the keeping of Five Precepts, householders often feel guilty when they mistakenly do unwholesome things — they don't know whether it means they have broken their Precepts. Some people accidentally run over a stray dog while they are driving because they happen to be in a hurry and wonder whether it breaks the Precepts. Some women know that they have never taken the possession of others without asking (i.e. they have never stolen) but they wonder if taking money from their husband without asking is breaking the Precepts. The Components of Five Precepts explained below are an attempt to answer this genre of questions.Below you will find descriptions of the factors involved EFTA00286593

in breaking each of the Precepts. All factors must be present in order for the Precept to be broken.: C.1.1 First Precept: Not Killing In order to break the Precept of not killing, your action has to consist of five components: I. The victim must really be alive: Suppose there is a certain dog we have hated for a long time. Every time we see it it has barked us, chased us and bitten us. We think that the dog is alive, but in fact it has already died. Someone else had just shot the dog dead that very morning. It is lying dead in the road, but we were not to know that. Seeing it lying in the road we think to ourselves, "This time we can get our own back on the dog," and we reverse the car over the dog. In this case we have not managed to break the Precepts because it had already died long ago of other causes. 2. We are aware that the victim is alive: Sometimes we misunderstand that an animal is already dead, so you think that a cremation is in order. You throw the body of the animal into the flames — but it is not really dead. However we were not to know that. This time the animal does really die! Again, such an action does not break the Precepts. 3. We have the intention to kill the victim: Supposing you run over an animal killing it accidentally, because there is no intention to kill (you could not avoid it), again the Precepts are not broken. 4. We put in the effort to kill the victim: You have to put in the effort to kill, if you are to break the Precepts. You have to really aim the gun and pull the trigger if you are to create the necessary conditions to break the Precepts. 5. The victim dies in the way intended: As the result of our efforts, the animal must really die if the Precepts are to be broken. If you shoot to kill, but the result is only to break an arm or leg, the Precepts are not yet broken. C1.2 Second Precept: Not Stealing In order to break the Precept of not stealing, your action has to consist of five components: 1. There is art owner who is possessive about that ob- ject: If you are in the forest where there are objects of which no-one is the clear owner it is all right to take them. 2. The perpetrator knows the object has someone pos- sessive of it: People can even be possessive of a favourite rag. If for some reason you cannot find the rag you usually use, often you feel irritated or angry. In the past there was an agreement between market gardeners as follows — whatever they plant, whether it may be bananas or sugar cane or aubergines or chillis, if anyone walks through the field and feels they want to eat some of the crop, they are allowed to help themselves to as much as they can eat, but it is prohibited to take any in your pockets or in a bag to eat in the home. It is said that there is only one eater of stolen food who steals food and takes it home to eat and that is a stray dog. 3. The perpetrator has the intention to steal: Even the intention to steal starts to cloud the mind. 4. The perpetrator makes the effort to steal the object: This means trying to find devious strategies and actually putting those strategies into practice. 5. The perpetrator obtains the object in keeping with his intention. C1.3 Third Precept: Not Committing Adultery In order to break the Precept of not committing adultery, your action has to consist of four components: I. The object of the affection must be a man or woman who is prohibited: So what do we mean by a partner who is prohibited? There are four sorts of women who are prohibited to men • married women; • women who are still in the care of their parents; • women who lifestyle prohibits sexual intercourse, such as nuns or female prisoners. • women related to us such as our mother or our sister or ow daughter and three types of men prohibited to women: • any man who is not your own husband; • men whose lifestyle prohibits sexual intercourse such as monks. EFTA00286594

• men who are related to us 2. The perpetrator has the intention to have sexual in- tercourse with that person; 3. The perpetrator makes the effort to have sexual intercourse (e.g. removes his clothes) 4. There is a joining of the sexual organs. In fact there is no man or women born in the world who has no connections except for the one who is already married to you. No-one else is the legitimate subject for sexual intercourse — not in the bar nor the night club — even prostitutes are prohibited (consider respect for human dignity and fair economics and you will understand why) — there are no such things as `wayside flowers' free to be picked by anyone. CL4 Fourth Precept: Not Telling Lies In order to break the Precept of not telling lies, your speech has to consist of four components: 1. Saying something that is not true 2. Having the intention to misrepresent the truth 3. Making the effort to misrepresent the truth. 4. The listener understands what you have said. The damage of lying comes from the chain reaction it causes: inorder to lie to someone once, you have to lie to yourself first three times. The first time you lie to yourself is in order to prepare yourself to tell a lie. You have to make up the story and convince yourself first. The second time you have to lie to yourself is when you meet the person who you are going to lie to. Thirdly, you have to remember what lies you have told to who, because next time you meet them you have to tell them things consistent with that first lie, or else your dishonesty will be discovered. If the lie is an important one, sometimes you will have to remember it for years. The result of being a liar is that eventually you will lose your self-confidence because you have lied to yourself until you have become used to it. At the end of your life, your memory becomes so blurred to the truth that you end up suffering from senile dementure as the re- sult of the mental hypocrisy you have accumulated throughout the course of your life. C.1.5 Fifth Precept: Not Drinking Alcohol In order to break the Precept of not drinkingalcohol, your action has to consist of five components: I. The liquid drunk must be alcohol 2. The person must know that it is alcohol. 3. The person must have the intention to drink it 4. The person must make the effort to drink it S. The alcohol must be swallowed. For the purposes of the fifth Precept, not only alcohol and heedlessness-inducing intoxicants are prohibited, but also such drugs such as heroine, opium, maruana etc.. If you consider tobacco from the point of view of this Precept in an objective way, you will find that smoking tobacco must be avoided too. Those who become addicted to anything like tobacco will find themselves in difficulty when they come to practice meditation on a retreat where there is no opportunityto smoke. Some people say that they smoke without being addicted — and they have been smoking without addiction continuously for the last ten years! C /.6 Seriousness of Breaking Precepts In addition, breaking a Precept may be more or less serious dependent on an additional three factors: L the amount of effort invested in breaking the Precept: the more the effort invested in a deed, the more serious is the breaking of that Precept. To kill a large animal is more serious than to kill a small animal because it takes more effort. 2. the gratitude or ingratitude in breaking the Precept: the more an action expresses ingratitude, the greater will be the seriousness of breaking the Precept. Wringing the neck of the cock which crowed to wake you up every morning at dawn to go to school until you got yourself a university degree is worse than wringing the neck of another cock you have never known before. Thus one should be very careful not to disregard the debt of gratitude owed to others. If that person or animal is one that is useful — especially if it has been helpful to us personally in the past. 3. The strength of the intention behind breaking the Precept: if you kill an ant by pulling each leg out EFTA00286595

one by one and then killing it, it is worse than killing the ant outright in one fell swoop. To kill a mosquito by slapping it is not as bad as putting a candle flame to the wings of the mosquito and leaving it in pain to wriggle to death for the next three days. If a person kills with vengeance and cruelty, it is more serious than for killing out of vengeance in cold blood. If someone kills someone with a single shot, it is not so bad as someone who tortures someone to death. Thus even in the past, they would try to find quick ways of execution so that they could reduce the evil accrued by the executioner. (Best of all is not to have to kill the prisoner at all). C2 Components of Eight Precepts C.2.I Differences between Five and Eight Precepts The following differences are found between the components of Precepts shared between the Five and Eight Precepts: The Third Precept: Unchastity: The first difference between the Five Precepts and the Eight Precepts concerns the Third Precept. Immoral sexual relations [kAmesu micchAchAra] are replaced by abstention from any sexual relations (brahmacariyA — lit. Brahma-faring). For the Third Precept of the Eight Precepts there are only two components: I. You have the intention of having sexual rela- tions. 2. There is a joining of the sexual organs. In this case it makes no difference whether your partner is your husband or wife. It will cause your Precepts to be broken. If either or both husband and wife are training themselves in the Eight Precepts it is usual for them to sleep apart. This form of training is important because for most people in the world who lack control over their own minds, for most of the time, their thoughts and action are dictated by the defilements of sensual indulgence. The five precepts already teaches you to be contented with your spouse. The Eight Precepts goes further with this training by offering sixth, seventh and eighth If all four of these components are present then the Precepts to help play a supporting role in the reduction of attachment to sensual stimuli. The Fifth Precept: Not Drinking Alcohol : Another dif- ference between Five Precepts and Eight Precepts concerns the fifth Precept. For Five Precepts the fifth Precept has five components, but for the Eight Precepts, there are only four components as follows: I. The liquid drunk must be alcohol 2. The person must have the intention to drink it 3. The person must make the effort to drink it 4. The alcohol must be swallowed. You will see that for the Eight Precepts it is no longer necessary to know that the drink is alcohol in order to cause the fifth Precept to be broken. C.2.2 Sixth Precept: Refraining from Untimely Eating It is commonly asked by housewives who keep the Eight Precepts whether they are allowed to taste the food they are preparing for their husbands in the evening. Sometimes to taste and to eat food are not the same (except for the person who tastes half a plate of food and still doesn't know the flavour!) I. It must be midday of one day to the dawn of the next: The dawn signals the changing of the day for Buddhists — technically the earliest time that if you go out into the open, and stretch out your arm, you can see the lines on your hand clearly without having to use a torch or the time at dawn when you can first distinguish the leaves of trees as being of different shades of green. 2. The substance eaten is solid food (chewable): This second component has some exceptions i.e. chewable food that is allowed. Exceptions include refined sugar, sugar cane juice, tamarinds, embolic myrobalan, nutgall or pickled ginger. For those who might have dietary problems if their stomach is completely empty, cheese or butter is allowed (but not cheese sandwiches!) 3. The effort is made to eat the food 4. The food is swallowed. EFTA00286596

sixth Precept will be broken.The point of keeping the sixth precept is to remove another possible risk of sleepiness as a hindrance to one's meditation practice by avoiding a heavy evening meal. If we eat too much, it will give us more energy than we can use and this contributes to ease of sexual arousal. If you were to miss a meal once a week by forgoing an evening meal, you will find that the excess food will be burned up. C.2.3 Seventh Precept: Not indulging in entertainment or immodesry, Indulging in entertainment means specifically: singing, dancing or playing musical instruments yourself, watching others doing the same (excepting the national anthem or music in honour of the monarch). Immodesty means wearing perfume, jewelry, flowers or makeup (except talcum powder for medicinal purposes). Some people ask if they can watch the television when keeping the eight precepts — the answer is that you have to be selective about what you watch. You can watch news but don't go watching a cabaret or certain sorts of advertising. You have to avoid contact with cosmetics that are meant for beautification instead of for health. You shouldn't wear perfume, make-up, flowers, hair dye. Wearing talcum powder should just be to prevent athlete's foot or abrasion — not for beautification. The components of this seventh precept are any of the following: 1. Playing musical instruments, dancing or singing romantic songs yourself 2. Watching entertainment consisting of singing, danc- ing or romantic music. or all of the following: 1. There are cosmetics or perfume 2. The reason is not because of poor Bab* wear the cosmetics or perfume C.2.4 Eighth Precept: Not engaging in Indolent Sleeping Habits The following are the components of the eighth precept: I. The sleeping place is large or high 2. You know that the sleeping place is large or high 3. Sitting or lying down on that place You will notice that not only lying on a soft mattress is forbidden but also sitting on such a mattress, because they contribute to making the mind wander.The softer the mattress on which you sleep, the less you feel like getting up in the morning. As you sleep without mindfulness, it will start to undermine the purity of your third precept. However, nowadays houses commonly have sofas which are soft. If you were to be strict, sitting on a sofa would be forbidden, but for the sake of manners, it is better to accept others hospitality than to take all the cushions off the sofa and throw them away. At the same time we should take good care of our presence of mind. We have to think of both our Pre- cepts and the appropriateness in any situation. Sometimes hotels have nowhere but beds upon which to sleep. In other places it may be too cold to sleep on the floor without anything under you in the way of insulation. Thus consider appropriateness in each situation. C3 Monastic Discipline C.3.I The Objectives behind Monastic Discipline A.v.70) The Buddha created the monastic discipline for ten reasons: 2 3 munity; 4 To maintain the happiness of monks who love discipline; 5 To give protection from defilements that might increase in the present time (for example if monks are allowed to speak one-to-one with females, there may be many new problems resulting); 6 To give protection from defilements that might increase in the future (for example if monks are allowed to speak one-to-one with females, later it may lead the monk to spend all their time thinking of that female.); To maintain peace in the monastic community; To restrain stubborn and shameless disciples; To maintain the happiness of the monastic com- EFTA00286597

7. To instil faith in the public who are not yet faithful; 8. To increase the faith of the public who are al- ready faithful; 9. To maintain the Teaching of the Buddha steadfast; I0. To maintain discipline itself; C3.2 Components of Monastic Discipline Although it would be possible to give the components for each of the 227 monastic Precepts (same principles apply as for those of the Five and Eight Precepts) there is insufficient space to do so. However, to demonstrate that monastic discipline is more than just the code of conduct, the four components of monastic practice are described below: C.3.2.I Restraint according to monastic code of conduct [pAEimokkhasaOvara]: The `pAEimoldchal is the set of rules of training which the Buddha gave to monks for the restraint of their bodily actions and speech. As soon a monk ordains, whether he knew the rules or not previously, it is immediately his duty to make sure he knows and abides by the 227 rules of conduct. The 227 Rules therein can be divided into three degrees of seriousness: I. Rules entailing defeat [pArAjika]: There are four rules in this category: killing people, stealing, sexual intercourse and claims of mental attainments. Any monk who infringes the rules of this category immediately in no longer a monk any more. Whether he is disrobed or not, he is no longer a monk any more. It is the heaviest infringement of monastic conduct possible. 2. Rules entailing an initial and subsequent meeting of the order [salghAdiscsa]: This category of rules of training is less serious than the previous, but can still be considered evil and coarse. When a monk breaks one of these rules, they must confess their transgression to the rest of the monastic community. If a monk who has infringed such a rule still has not admitted his fault to the rest of the monastic community, then he is still not returned to purity. The reason for this is to show that you are aware of your fault and will not do it again. Only then can the monk be re-admitted to the monastic community. 3. Rules entailing confession: These include "Rules entailing confession" IpAcittiya), "Rules entailing forfeiture and confession " inissaggiya-pAcittiyaj: -Rules entailing ac- knowledgment" IpAtidmantya); "Minor Transgressions" [dukkata), and:"Wrong Speech" WubbhAsita). For these infringements of the monastic conduct there is no need for monks to confess in front of the monastic assembly. By confessing to another monk the offending monk can be returned to purity again. In fact, confession doesn't wash away the evil caused by infringement of the discipline, but it helps to give the monk the mindfulness not to infringe the same rule of conduct again. Confession is like the healing of an open wound — but the scar still remains. Best of all is never to break the rules of monastic conduct. C.3.2.2 Restraint of the senses [indriyasaOvara] This means specifically the restraint of the eyes, ears, nose, tongue, skin contact and mind. Monks should not look at inappropriate things: if a monk sees a couple petting at the side of the road, he shouldn't stay and watch them but should quickly go somewhere else. Monks should not listen to inappropriate things — there is no need to go listening to gossip that doesn't concern him. Monks should not smell things that are inappropriate or taste things that are inappropriate: mostly this concerns food and not just eating things for the taste. Monks should not touch or have skin contact with things that are inappropriate: not using rubbing creams just for the smoothness of the skin or to take pleasure in touching soft and comfortable things. Monks should not use their mind to think of inappropriate things. In other words monks should not find pleasure or displeasure from the use of the senses. C.3.2.3 Purity of livelihood [AjEvaparisuddhi] Monks have to make their living, but not by cultivating fields or earning a wage. The proper way of making a living for a monk is to go on almsround. EFTA00286598

All monks know this but some think that almsround is inconvenient because sometimes alms are donated, sometimes not. To set oneself up as a fortune teller or a seller of lottery tickets somehow seems more convenient! — but it is not pure livelihood for monks. Lotteries are a form of gambling and gambling is one of the roads to ruin. Thus if monks encourage and make their living out of lot- teries or lottery numbers, don't go supporting them — they are in breach of monastic discipline. Fortune telling by monks is no better than lottery tips. Fortune telling is a pseudo-science of statistics and is not grounded on truth. Thus fortune telling is a sort of guesswork which is not much better than lying. C.3.2.4 Reflection on the Requisites [paccaya- paccavekkhaAa]: This is the practice by monks of recollection or reflection on the four different sorts of requisites before use. The requisites of clothing, food, shelter and medicine are the basic needs of life. Monks must reflect that the requisites are nothing more than needs to keep the body going, in the same way as fuel keeps a car mobile. Most people use the requisites of life without distinguishing between need and want — but for monks the proper practice is to use the requisites to train oneself in the consideration of moderation. D. ATTAINMENT OF SELF-DISCIPLINE D.1 Levels of Avoidance Properly practised, discipline will give rise to self-discipline. Where discipline is the avoidance of un- wholesomeness by external means, self-discipline is the avoidance of unwholesomeness by internal means. To distinguish between the two, we identify three different ways in which unwholesomeness can be avoided (virati): L Avoidance on the spur of the moment [sampattavirati): this is a form of discipline whereby one refrains from unwholesome action or speech spontaneously without having requested any Precepts in advance. If you see a fish washed up on the beach and you decide on the spur of the moment to throw it back into the water out of compassion, rather than killing — this is the sort of avoidance which we call 'avoidance on the spur of the moment'. Perhaps you would turn in a lost wallet with all of the money instead of keeping it for yourself, for fear of being accused of stealing. Such avoidance of evil occurs as the result of fear and shame of evil or the consequences of evil [hiri-ottappa]; 2. Avoidance having requested the Precepts [samadAnavirati]: this is a form of discipline whereby one refrains from unwholesome action or speech for fear of breaking Precepts one has previously requested from a monk. Some people simply make a vow to keep the Precepts each day in front of the shrine. Even if someone were to give you a bottle of beer, because you have taken the five precepts that day, you will turn down the offer for fear of breaking your vow; 3. Avoidance through transcending [samuccedavirati]: this is a form of self-discipline whereby one no longer has any temptation to do evil, because the mind has reached a stage of purity and transcendental attainment whereby no unwholesome intention can arise in the mind any more to drive unwholesome speech or action. This is absolute avoidance of evil of the type achieved by those who have attained the stages of Buddhist sainthood. D.2 Refraining from the Tenfold Path of Unwholesomeness The result of practising discipline until attainingself- discipline is to remove oneself from the influence of the Tenfold Path of Unwholesomeness [akusala- dhammapatha], the first four of which can be rec- ognized as the Four Defilements of Action [kammakilesa]: Killing: e.g. killing people, fishing, hunting and cruelty to animals 2 Stealing: e.g Thieving, mugging, shoplifting, corruption and deceit 3 Committing adultery: unfaithfulness to one's spouse, rape, pre-marital sex 4 Lying: eg. telling lies, exaggeration, forgery 5. Malicious or divisive gossip: e.g. gossip in a EFTA00286599

way to turn one person against another, mud- slinging 6. Harsh or insulting speech: e.g. name calling, swearing 7. Idle chatter: e.g. purposeless babble, raving, boasting 8. Covetousness: e.g. considering to get something one wants in a dishonest way, coveting others' possessions 9. Vengeful Thought: e.g. wanting to get revenge or get your own back l0. False View: e.g. thinking good and evil to be nonexistent, thinking you have no debt of gratitude to your parents, thinking death to be the end of the story, not believing in the Law of Karma and to establish oneself in the Tenfold Path of Wholesomeness [kusaladhammapatha]: I. absolutely not tilling. absolutely not Stealing absolutely not committing adultery 4. absolutely not piing absolutely not possipingibsolutely not speaking darshly. absolutely not idle Shatter absolutely not thinking to take the possession of others 9. absolutely remove yourself from tengbatidy possession of Right View E. ILLUSTRATIVE EXAMPLES E.] Metaphor: Vinaya to knowledge is as a scabbard to a sword Even if you have theoretical knowledge and expe- rience, you need to have an extra virtue to protect you from using that knowledge in the wrong way — that virtue is self-discipline. Without self-discipline, you will apply your knowledge to do immoral things. The people of old had sayings that: "If a sharp sword lacks a scabbard, it can harm even the owner. If a hand-grenade lacks a firing pin it can kill even the owner. A person of knowledge and experience can come to an unfortunate end, if he lacks self-discipline" E.2 Metaphor: Value of clay is in the value of the mold The people of old remarked that a humble lump of clay in the middle of a field is a strange thing. Unshaped, in the middle of that field it is without worth. However, if you put it into moulds of various sorts, it acquires worth depending on the nature of the mould. If you put the clay in the mould for a plate or a cup, when it comes out of the mould, it has acquired some value — it is something you can use on the table. If you put it into the mould for a doll, then the resulting doll is of value and can be used to decorate the house. If you put the clay into the mould for a Buddha image, the clay is suddenly transformed into something superior to household use, but something to be the object of respect for all who see it. Thus you can see that the better the mould you subject the clay to, the more value it acquires. When we come to talk about people instead of clay, we find that in the same way, the thing that gives people their value is the self-discipline they abide by. The greater the degree of self-discipline, the ewmore they are worth. EFTA00286600

Blessing Ten: Artfulness in Speech A.INTRODUCTION Some might think the words coming from our mouths are relatively unimportant when compared to the artfulness in "knowledge", "application" and "usage" discussed in the previous blessings of this grouping. However, when it comes to "making oneself useful to society"one cannot avoid communicative skills for team-building and for passing one's knowledge on to others. A.1 Buddhism founded on the tenet of correct speech Furthermore, it is only due to the care taken in "communicative skills" that the Buddha's Teaching can have been passed down across the space of 2,500 years to the present day and still inspire people. Words can be true but they may not be pleasant to listen to. If words are both true and polite, the ancients said that they were both worth listening to and also worth hearing. If words, apart from being both true and polite were also useful, the ancients said that such words apart from being worth believing and worth hearing are also worthy of respect — it is hard to find any religion which analyses speech to such depth. Al Verbal karma easier to produce than Physical karma If you compare the possibilities for doing and saying good things, you find that the possibilities for good speech are almost unlimited, more than what we can do with the body. You can really do many more good deeds with your speech than your actions or if you make the mistake of doing evil, you can do much more evil with your speech than with your body. This is the reason why the Buddha had to give the art of speaking its own separate blessing, because of all there is to be studied. A.3 Why one mouth is ample Without understanding the principles of artful speech, we are wont to say too much. The people of old would teach small children the way to look at yourself in the mirror. They would say, don't go looking at how beautiful or handsome you are — because before long old age will rob you of all these things. Take a good look at your own face. You will notice that even though your eyes have only one function, to look, nature has given you two. You will notice that even though your ears have only one function, to hear, nature has also given you two. You will notice that even though your nostrils have only one function, to breathe, nature has given you two. However, your mouth has two functions, to eat and to talk, but nature has given you only one mouth. It is as if nature is telling us to use our mouth in moderation — not to eat too much and not to say too much! B. UNWHOLESOME SPEECH From our study of self-discipline in Blessing Nine, we already know to avoid the different sorts of un- wholesome speech described in the Tenfold Path of Unwholesomeness [akusaladhammapatha] — EFTA00286601

these go beyond lying to enumerate no less than four different sorts of unwholesome speech which should be avoided: I. Telling lies 2. Divisive Speech 3. Harsh Speech 4. idle Chatter B.1 Telling Lies Telling lies means saying or writing words that are untrue in order to take advantage of someone else. As this subject has already been dealt with in Blessing Nine, no further detail will be repeated here. B.2 Divisive Speech Divisive speech or malicious gossip is speaking di- visively to set one person against another. There are four components to malicious gossip: 1. There is someone to set against one another; 2. You have the intention to set one side against the other. 3. You make the effort to speak divisively; 4. You manage to make yourself understood; The amount of evil involved in speaking divisively depends on severalfactors: 1. The Debt of Gratitude between the Perpetrator and the Victim: If you speak in such a way as to cause your own parents' marriage to break up or to set up one of your teachers against another or to set one monk against another, the evil will be very heavy.The degree to which the victims are divided: If the victims are completely unable ever to get back together again, the evil will be very heavy. 2. The Strength of the Intention behind wanting to cause a division: The stronger the divisive intention, the heavier will be the evil. 3. The amount of effort put in to making a division. The more the effort the heavier the evil B.3 idle Chatter Idle chatter is speaking purposelessly just to pass the time. There are two components to idle chatter: 1. To have the intention to talk about something mean- ingless: Meaningless words are the sort of words that don't lead a conversation anywhere. 2. Speaking those meaningless words The seriousness of retribution of idle chatter depends on the importance of the meaningfulness that you impede be speaking. Even those who always speak in a joking way that lacks seriousness don't have to wait for next life to see the results of their misdeeds — no-one will take them seriously. The amount of evil involved in idle chatter depends on several factors: I. Amount of chatter: The heaviness of the retribution depends on whether you chatter a lot or a little. 2. How much the speaker is believed: The more others are taken in by what we say, the worse will be the retribution. 3. The strength of the intention: The stronger the in- tention the worse the retribution. B.4 Harsh Speech Harsh speech includes swearing or insultingothers to the degree that it upsets them. Harsh speech even includes sarcasm and sarcastic comparisons.There are three components to harsh speech: i. There is someone to insult 2. The speaker has the angry intention to insult that person 3. The speaker gets down to insulting that person The amount of evil involved in speaking harshly depends on severalfactors: i. The Debt of Gratitude between the Perpetrator and the Victim: If you speak in such a way as to insult your own parents or teachers, the evil will be very heavy.The evil is also heavy if the victim is of high mental attainment. 2. Whether the insult is to their face or behind their back. An insult to someone's face is worse in its retribution than an insult behind their back. 3. The strength of bad intention behind the insult. The stronger the bad intention, the worse will be the retribution. 4. The amount of effort behind the insult EFTA00286602

B.5 Retribution of insulting those of virtue There are eleven forms of disasters befalling monks who (unfoundedly) verbally abuse others who have already attained the stages of sainthood: 1. failing to attain the due mental attainments; 2. falling away from the previous mental attain- ments; 3. their Sadhamma will become diouded; will delude themselves into thinking they have already attained Sadhamma; 5. will become discontented with pursuing the Brahma-faring; 6. will commit monastic Ransgressitlegive up the training and fall back into the low (household) life: 8. will be struck down by grave illness; will be struck down by madness or mental distraction; 10. will commit mortal blunders, and; 11. has the hell realms as an afterlife destination. AN.XI.6 Thus if at all possible, whether concerning a monk or not, never be someone to find fault in others. Always try to look for the good in others. You may notice the weaknesses of others. Observe them, remember them but don't use them as the subject of conversation. If you are always immersed in the good deeds of others then even if you try to think of evil things you will be unable to. You won't be tempted to find fault with that person or that person to the degree that you end up finding fault with people who have no fault. B.6 Disadvantage of saying too much Most people in the world believe that they are men of principle. However, when it comes to speaking, many find that they just say what they feel like. If people do have a governing principle about the things they say, then usually they just try to say the things that are pleasing for the other person to hear. The trouble with such a principle is that people will always say what is easiest to say instead of saying the things that need to be said. Such a principle, when you come to speech at the level of politicians or those in power will impede the progress of the country because politicians are always saying what is easiest to say instead of speaking out about the things in society which ought to be changed. If one has no clear principles then the more you speak, the more damage you do. The people of old had the saying that, "The more you say the more trouble you create." The reason is that when we have already said all that is beneficial and necessary to say and we keep on speaking then the next things to come out of our mouth are worthless or harmful speech such as gossip, slander, abuse, chatter and lies. Thus the people of old said, "keep what you have to say to mimimum and you will mimimize your problems. However if you refuse to speak at all then no-one understands you!" Thus we all have to say something, but for our own benefit we should clearly understand the nature of speech and the principles of artful speech that is beneficial so say so that we can be confident in selecting the things we say or keep to ourselves. C. ARTFUL SPEECH CI Definition By artful speech we mean speech that has been care- fully filtered and distilled by the mind as good, before it is allowed to pass ow lips. It is not only speech that is better than nothing. It is speech that has been carefully selected by many criteria. It must be good from every viewpoint — so good that it cannot have any fault found in it. The reason why we must be careful with our speech is that however good ow intentions if we say something in the wrong way we can still upset the people around us because they cannot see what we are thinking. All they can pick up is the words by which we express those intentions. C2 Components of speech From the meaning communicated by the things people say we can identify three major components: I. The Intention behind the Words: You can see whether the intention behind the things someone is saying is based on greed (e.g. they would like to get something from someone), hatred (e.g. in order to try to harm someone) or delusion (e.g. out of the envy of someone). These are all dam- EFTA00286603

aging forms of speech. If speech is used in a good way then the intention must be good. Good speech may be said out of compassion. 2. The Son of IVords Chosen: The more true they are the less false they are. The more polite speech is the less rude it is and vice versa. If the usefulness of words is reduced then they become more superfluous. Thus you can classify the speech of anyone in the world in terms of these three variables no matter what language it is spoken in: I. True or Untrue 2. Polite or Rude 3. Useful or SuperfluousWords are either true or false. 3. The Occasion Chosen to say them: Sometimes this means whether what is said is appropriate to the time available and the place where it is said. C.3 Qualities of artful speech Applying the general components of speech toartful speech, we find that there are five components. If speech is truly good it must be good to five levels. It is not like a one-star hotel which is better than a hotel with no stars. If we are truly principled in the things we say, then every word we say must be 'five star'. If it is any less, we will not let it pass our lips.: I. Speech must always be based on the intention of compassion: If the intention behind our speech is not compassion for the hearer then those words are better not said. Think for example of the sort of things you say when you are angry with someone and you will see that if you are angry its better to keep your mouth closed. 2. Speech must be true: (sort of words spoken) Sup- posing we would like someone to do a good deed (i.e. we have compassion for them) but to get them to do so we tell a white lie then it is no longer artful speech. Some people would like to cheer up a child so they say "Oh! Here comes the most precious boy in the world!" This could not yet be counted as artful speech — it is no more than words to fool children. The same thing even goes for telling "white lies" to fool people into doing beneficial things or the meaningless words exchanged between people in love. 3. Speech must be polite (sort of words spoken): If it is not polite it can never be artful speech. It is speech which ought to stay in the market place. 4. Speech must be useful (sort of words spoken): It should not something be said just to float on the breeze. Does it create benefit by making the mind of the speaker and the listener brighter? Does it create benefit both in this lifetime and the next? This doesn't mean that we tell lies for our own benefit but by doing so we take advantage of others. Both speaker and listener must benefit as the result of the words spoken. Why bother telling someone that Mr. So-and-so is involved in corruption when everyone throughout the town al- ready knows it to be a fact. 5. Speech must be at the appropriate time and oc- casion (the occasion chosen to say them): Even if you say the right thing but it is at the wrong time then you cannot consider it to be artful speech. You might want to give your husband or wife or friend a useful piece of criticism but if you do it in front of their boss it turns advice into a disgrace for that person. If you want to give your boss a warning you have to choose the appropriate time or else it might be seen as insult. C.4 Special Considerations when giving criticism The subject of appropriate occasion is something that is very hard to judge. In societies where there must be quality control and there does need to be evaluation and criticism of sloppy practices, then often one cannot wait for the right opportunity to come along by accident. In such a case you have to do your best to create the opportunity. Apart from keeping to all the five principles already mentioned, there are two extra considerations which you should bear in mind which can help to create favourable circumstances for giving criticism: I. Praise them before you criticise them: A piece of criticism may take three pieces of praise to balance up the good feeling lost. The praise should always come first. Don't forget that others have feelings too and even if someone has made a lot of faults you shouldn't criticise them for any EFTA00286604

more than two faults per day or else you may have a resignation on your hands. 2. Smile when you give the criticism: Don't criticise out of anger. If you ever say something to someone and you are surprised that it makes them angry, try checking the words that you said using the 'five-star measure of artful speech mentioned above. If you do not filter your use of words carefully, then your wordsmay cause harm to others. On other occasions, like a cup and a saucer must be of a matching quality, sometimes situations require words of a matching quality too. Sometimes it is good to speak in a way that is polite, but sometimes a situation doesn't require it because in some exceptional circumstances, five star language is not appreciated. CS Those who don't appreciate artful speech It is not as if you should speak in the most polite possible way to every person you meet. Some people cannot stand to hear polite language and may even criticize you because of it. They hear someone speaking clearly and accuse that person of being 'affected'. In such cases you might need to lower the grade of politeness of the language you use to make your language more direct, to shock the person into awareness. However, the rest of the four components of good speech must remain intact. The following sort of people might need to hear direct speech: I. Those who have a superiority complex or like to pretend that everyone is equal: Those who think they are God's gift to the world. Such people will not profit from flowery speech. Sometimes they need to be shocked by the words they hear in order to change themselves for the better. 2. Those whose mind is blinded to the virtues of the speaker by their lack of faith for that person: This is especially true if someone's mind is still attached to practices that are diametrically opposed to the ones you are advocating. Thus you can speak flowery words until you are red in the face and they will still not be inspired by your words. Even so you must not give up trying to help such people! 3. Those who are in the midst of depression: For such people, flowery words are of no more use than flute music to a buffalo. C6 Praiseworthy Talk In Buddhism, the most useful sort of talk istalk of virtue by one who exemplifies the virtue they are talking about. The Buddha taught that ten types of conversation which are praiseworthy are: 1. one who wants little and talks on wanting little [appiccha]; 2. one who is contented and talks on contentment [santuEEhi]; 3. one who is loves seclusion and talks on seclusion [paviveka]; 4. one who loves solitude and talks on solitude [asaOsagga]; 5. one who strives energetically and talks on en- ergetic striving [viriya]; 6. one who is self-disciplined and talks on self-discipline [sEla]; 7. one who has attained concentration and talks on concentration [samAdhi]; 8. one who has attained wisdom and talks on wisdom [paluiA]; 9. one who is has attained liberation and talks on liberation [vimutti], and; 10.one who is has attained seeing and knowing of liberation and talks, on seeing and knowing of liberation [vimuttifiAAadassana]. C.7 Characteristics of a peace envoy One of the most useful applications of artful speech is to make the world a more peaceful place. Whenever there is conflict in society the reasons for people to do evil things are multiplied manyfold. If we ever have the opportunity to encourage people to live together in peace and harmony it is something very meritorious for us to do. Anyone who is fitting to be an envoy of this sort should have eight characteristics which we should learn and train ourselves in so that we may be ready if ever we have the opportunity to take on this duty. In the future, no matter how many lifetimes we are born for we will always have friends and relatives who are peaceful and harmonious: EFTA00286605

1. You must be able to listen to others opinions and not refuse their point of view: Some people like to hear only the sound of their own voice. They don't let others get a word in edgeways. Of course they can never find anyone to listen to them. Before becoming a good speaker you must train yourself to listen to other people first. Whether what another person is saying is right or wrong, at least give them the chance to say what they have to say and in that way you will be able to pick up the jist of what they have to say. 2. When you do speak, you must be able to capture your listener's attention and hold it: That doesn't mean just spending all your time listening to what others have to say but when it comes to your turn to speak then you should see to it that what you are saying is listened to. Don"t go speaking in a way that is irritating so that no one can listen to you for long. 3. Know how to set the boundaries for what you have to say to the minimum: If you are not able to limit the scope of what you have to say then it is like driving a cart along to chase a rabbit. This is what it is always like if the objective of what you have to say is not clear. There will be no end to what you have to say. Political negotiations will go on for seven days and seven nights and still reach no conclusion. 4. You must be able to remember what you have to say: Never use a forgetful person as your emissary. 5. Understand the detail of everything you have to say: It is not enough simply to be able to memorize the details. 6. Having the ability to make others understand what you have to say: This really takes a lot of ability. You must be artful in the use of metaphor and artful speech. 7. You must be skilled in selecting to say only useful things and cutting out the rest 8. By habit you must be someone who is not fond of starting arguments: Never send anyone with a short temper as your ambassador unless you are planning to start a war. Finally, in the words of the Buddha - An ambassador is one who even in the company of the harsh-spoken, can remain unscathed and unruffled, makes no mistake in his use of words, doesn't conceal information, has the ability to alleviate the doubts of others and who is not angered by questioning." (Vin. Culavagga 7/201) C.8 Buddhist Principles of Public Speaking There are many different recipes for success for public speaking in the world — including those of the Toastmasters or Carnegie, but in general, they do not have principles which deviate far from the principals already outlined above — except for aspects of the delivery. Buddhist principlesof public speaking emphasize the following components: 1. Sound body: This includes all aspects of non-verbal communication 2. Sound speech: This means speech that is pleasant to the ears, eyes and mind of the listener: I. Being pleasant to the ear means possessing "Five Star" speech and includes the use of words, use of intonation and the rhythm of what is said. 2. Being pleasant to the eye means the speaker hav- ing a pleasant personality and use of expression. 3. Being pleasant to the mind includes appropriate choice of subject, being prepared, having one's thoughts organized and structuring the speech into three parts: an introduction, main body and conclusion. 3. Sound mind: Exemplifying the virtues which you talk about. Buddhist public speaking is not just talking to be understood or believed, but for the enjoyment and the inspiration of the listener to do good deeds. D. ILLUSTRATIVE EXAMPLES D. I Metaphor: A fish lives & dies because of its mouth A fish can have long life dependant on its mouth which it uses to feed. However, because the selfsame mouth and its greed for bait, it swallows the hook which brings its life to an end. In the same EFTA00286606

way, if we use our mouth for artful speech, it can bring us success and prosperity in life, but sometimes even a word of unwholesome speech from the same mouth can cost us our lives. D.2 Metaphor: It is not just knowing the right thing to A smart person is not a person who knows when to say the right thing — they must also know when to keep their silence. A knowledge of the things not to be said is more important for an artful speaker, even more than a knowledge of the things to be said. D.3 Ex.: Condemned manwho said too much The less you say, the less risk you run of saying something foolish, even dangerous. In 1825 a new czar, Nicholas I, ascended the throne of Russia. A rebellion immediately broke out, led by liberals demanding that the country modernize — that its industries and civil structures catch up with the rest of Europe. Brutally crushing the rebellion (the Decembrist Uprising), Nicholas I sentenced one of its leaders, Kondraty Ryleyev, to death. On the day of the execution. Ryleyev stood on the gallows, the noose round his neck. The trap-door opened — but as Ryleyev dangled, the rope broke, dashing him to the ground. At the time, events like this were considered signs of providence or heavenly will, and a man saved from execution this way was usually pardoned. As Ryleyev got to his feet, bruised and dirtied but believing his neck had been saved, he called out to the crowd, "You see, in Russia they don't know how to do anything properly, not even how to make a rope!" A messenger immediately went to the Winter Palace with news of the failed hanging. Vexed by this disappointing turnabout, Nicholas I nevertheless began to sign the pardon. But then: "Did Ryleyev say anything after this miracle?"the czar asked the messenger. "Sire," the messenger replied,"he said that in Russia they don't even know how to make a rope!" "In that case,"said the Czar, "let us prove the contrary," and he tore up the pardon. The next day Ryleyev was hanged again. This time the rope did not break. Morale: Once the words are out, you cannot take them back. Keep them under control. Be particularly careful with sarcasm: The momentary satisfaction you gain with biting words will be outweighed by the price you PaY- D.4 Ex. NandivisAla JAtaka (J.28) A tale which has become most famous as one of sajEsops' Tales, in fact originates from the JAtaka Tale of NantivisAla, the ox which pulled 100 carts for a wager. This young ox was miraculously strong ever since it was born and so the owner had the ox pull 100 carts. When he found that the ox could pull the carts, the owner made the ox's ability subject to a wager to a millionnaire who didn't believe it. However, when it came to the time to prove the bet, the master said, `Go ahead and pull the carts, ox!'. Because the ox didn't like the direct language it refused to move. Even oxen have feelings. Thus the owner lost the bet. Later the owner made a second bet, spoke politely to the ox and won the wager making a profit. D.5 Et Matka !Atoka (1.315) There were once four sons of a millionnaire who wanted to compare their skills of persuasion and competed with each other in asking for meat from the cart of a butcher. When the four brothers saw the butcher's cart they thought to themself that they would like to eat some meat and they decided to see who could persuade the butcher to give them some meat. The first son shouted out to the butcher,"Hey butcher! Bring me some meat!" The butcher was a kindly man and he said "Of course but because your words are not sweet to my ears" he threw the boy some trotters. Everybody asked him why he gave the boy trotters and he replied that trotters are tough and have no taste just like the words of the one who had requested them. The second son said, "My brother! Please give me some of your meat to eat." Because the second son had had the respect to call him his brother then he cut off some choice meat to give to him. The third son said, "Oh my father! Please give me some of your meat to eat." Because the third son had had the respect to call him his father he cut the heart out of an ox to give to him. The fourth son said, "My friend! Please give me EFTA00286607

some of your meat to eat." The butcher heard his words and felt pleased. He said that when our ages are so similar like this, it is closest to the truth to say that we are friends. To call me 'father' is too much. To call me 'friend' is the most appropriate. So with those words he gave the whole of his cart to the fourth son. The fourth son was true to his word and took the butcher to his house. He said if you have this much generosity to me then I will be generous to you too — come and live here if you like — I have a reasonable amount of wealth to my name therefore if any of your friends are in distress just tell me and I will help. Well, it turned out that the butcher had a few unpaid debts so he was able to pay all those off. The fourth son was a friend to the butcher for the rest of his life. This is the benefit accrued to the fourth son who didn't speak harshly, or patronizingly but appropriately to the truth of the situation. EFTA00286608

f The Fourth. Group of Blessings "Harmony in the Family Life" The fourth group of blessings contains Blessings Eleven to Four- teen. Nearly all of these concern how we take care of our close fam- ily and therefore the grouping is sometimes referred to as "Har- mony in the Family Life". Nested between Group III concerning "Setting Oneself up in life" and Group V concerning "Becoming a pillar of society", it is obvious that harmony at home is something we have to get right if we are truly to be of use to society at large. It is many an important businessman who has not managed to go as far as he ought in his career because of being upset or unfulfilled in his family life. This does not mean that it is necessary to have a husband or wife and children to make a success in one's life — but if one does have one's own family, than one has to fulfil one's duty to them properly. In any case one must fulfil one's duty to one's parents. EFTA00286609

Blessing Eleven: Cherishing our parents A. INTRODUCTION A.I Introduction to Blessing Eleven As we shall see for this blessing on cherishing our parents, much more than for cherishing husband, wife or children, the factor of "gratitude" is very important. According to Buddhist definition, "gratitude" is an active virtue and to be fulfilled, should be practised in all of the following stages: I. Appreciating our Debt of Gratitude to Our Parents [katatifiE] 2. Repayment of our Debt of Gratitude to Our Par- ents [katavedE] by: I. repaying our debt of gratitude to our parents: physically and spiritually both before they pass away and after death too 2. Announcing the Goodness of Our Parents Only when we have done all of these components of gratitude can we be said to have fulfilled this eleventh Blessing — and the remainder of the discussion in this blessing describes the practicality of putting all three components in practice. In some Buddhist literature, practising such duties is known as 'filial piety'. B. WHY SHOULD WE WANT TO CHERISH OUR PARENTS? B.1 Rationale When we start out in our career of self-development, it is not obvious what goodness is. In the initial blessings, we have had to orientate ourselves to virtue without really knowing what virtue is — let alone being able to identify virtue in ourselves. In the beginning, even to be able to associate with good people is a blessing, because some of their virtues might brush off on us too. In the beginning we might not be aware of the virtues in ourselves — it being much easier to perceive the virtues of others. The Buddha intended us to take a hard look at ow own parents who have done so much for us — because everyone has parents and everyone has received benefit at their hands. Thus, for our parents more than for others, virtue will be easy for us to identify. If we are able to recognize, repay and announce the goodness of our parents, our familiarity with such virtue will become all the stronger. Later when we are able to see the good in our parents, we will be able to see the good in others. When we are able to see the good in others we will be able to see the good in ourselves and develop it further— according to the techniques found in the higher blessings. Unless we are sensative to a greater or lesser extent to the goodness other people express to us, we have little chance of increasing the sensitivity to the goodness that lies within ourselves. There is no-one in the world who has done as much for one as one's parents, so if one is unable to respond to the good they have done one, then it is unlikely that one will be able to perceive good in anything else at all. If our debt of gratitude to our parents is as large as this and we are unable to see it, that shows that we must be severely blinded to the good of others. EFTA00286610

B.2 Taking care of our parents is the most fundamental of virtues Repaying the debt of gratitude to our parents is such a fundemental virtue, that the people of old used it as a benchmark for judging strangers. Sometimes one has to know someone for a long, long time before one can really say we know such a person in depth. However, if you meet someone for the first time and you find out that they neglect their parents, you can be sure that they are unlikely to have any interest in helping anyone less closely related. B.3 We will be cared for by our children If you recognize and repay the debt of gratitude you have to your parents, apart from gaining personal virtue, you will also set a good example for your own children — and they in turn will want to take care of you when you become feeble in your old age. B.4 Richness of heart helps meditation progress Many people meditate for many years without being able to make any progress — sometimes their mind has a continuous feeling of "dryness". However, if upon learning about the debt of gratitude they have to their parents, they take steps to repay it, it often creates a "richness" of mind which allows them to progress again in their meditation. C. APPRECIATING OUR DEBT OF GRATITUDE Cl Why must we have gratitude in our lives? We didn't get where we are today entirely by our own efforts. We are the result of considerable investment of food, care, protection, training and teaching by others. All these resources have come to us through the pure intentions of others in society— intentions without which our civilization would soon collapse. It is not that people have helped us because they want something from us in return, but if we, who have been on the receiving end of such altruism, are able to appreciate, return or praise the favours they have done us, it will help to create an atmosphere of "give and take" in soci- ety instead of deterioration into "every man to himself'.The appreciation of good deeds is very important to Buddhist culture and cherishing our parents is our first and most fundamental opportunity to express gratitude. C2 Theories of non-gratitude to parents Where sons and daughters neglect their parents, often it is not intentional, but because of having received influence from some of the theories rife in our society, none of which are entirely true: I. Selfish Genes: Some people think that the only rea- son that parents are kind to their children is that they want to see their character and genes passed down to the next generation. This theory has even led to a genetic theory called `The Selfish Gene' (Dawkins) by which it is proposed that man is nothing more than a mechanism by which genes replicate themselves! In such a case, parents don't show kindness to their children out of compassion but out of the selfish desire to propagate their own genes. If such a theory were really true, if you were walking down the street with four brothers who were all identical twins with at least half of the same genes as you have then you would rather that yourself were eaten by a monster in order to protect the greater part of your genes depending on the safety of your three brothers. Such theories have their limitations because they cannot explain why such traits as homosexuality which hamper the replication of genes might grow and spread in the population. The practical outcome of this theory is that instead of thinking to repay their parents for all the good things they have received, they think that they are bringing their parents fulfilment by bringing up grandchildren for their parents! This is logic equivalent to borrowing money from a bank to open a new business and paying back the loan to your customers! Instead of thinking how best to look after their poor parents, most children spend their time thinking how best to get themselves a boyfriend or girlfriend to look after for the rest of their lives instead. 2. Hereditary Sin: Some philosophies of life such as those advocated by the Unification Church (Moonism) go further to suggest that all the bad things in our life are passed down to us by our parents and therefore only be abandoning your parents and marrying into their religion can you escape from sin. Such thinking has led to many broken families and accusations of kidnapping and brainwashing. EFTA00286611

3. Patricide Cults: Some philosophies of life such as those found in some African tribes are even more destructive for the family. Only a boy who is brave enough to kill his own father is eligable to become the chief of the tribe because it is taken that only such a person is cruel and brave enough to lead a tribe. Although our thoughts about our parents might not be so serious as some of the theories described above sometimes we find it hard to really comprehend how much our parents have done for us. Superficially we think that the good our parents have done for us is easy to describe but in fact we don't usually don't look very deep. Many people are confined as to how the debt of gratitude to our parents could possibly be as large. Just thinking of how they have brought us up and how they have fed and schooled us surely could not add up to such a large debt. However we should try our best to look for that goodness, because if you can't see the good in other people who have done so much for you, don't expect to be able to see any of the good or positive things that arise in yourself as a result of your meditation. C.3 How a Child is indebted to his parents Of all the people in the world there is no-one closer to us than our own mother and father. Why should we choose our parents as subject to our own good deeds before thinking of others? Our parents are those to whom wehave one of the largest debts of gratitude. We can choose whether or not we have a spouse or children, but all of us have parents of whom we must take care. All through our childhood we have been in debt to them and even when adult that debt is no less than it was when we were young. But how many children go to school thinking to study their hardest, do their best to pick up skills so that they can get a job to pay their parents back for their kindness as soon as they complete their education? As soon as they get their first job how many think of using thier first wage to buy a present as a token of gratitude for thier parents and how many buy lipstick instead? C3.I Before conception If we look at the root meaning of the word 'parent' it means 'one who brings forth their offspring'. Thus our parents are responsible for having given us the gift of life. Some parents are a mother or a father to their children. Even if they wait until their child is born and then abandon it — i.e they give rise to children but don't bring them up - they have still given the child the most valuable thing it has — its own life. Parents serve as physical mold. A mold increases a material's value (see Blessing Nine 5E.2). In a similar sense, the birth of all animals in the world depends on the parents as their physical mold. We are overwhelmingly indebted to our parents for their genes that give us our healthy physical shape. If our parents were those who didn't take good care of their own health then we might have been bom handicapped physically. But as many of us are in good health, today, with strong physical bodies, if we were to have no gratitude to our parents for the things they have given us, it would show that we are blind to the good things that people do for us. Even if our parents had abandoned us at birth and did nothing else to bring us up, we should already be overwhelmed with the gill of life that they have given us. Thus don't go thinking that to be born human is an automatic entitlement. Even in your own house, the number of people living in the house is still small compared to the number of worms, mosquitos, ants, geckos, birds etc. There are maybe a hundred or a thousand more non-human living beings even in our own house than there are humans for whom the house was actually built. This tells us that to be born human is a difficult thing but to be born as an animal is easy. And if you were to be born as an animal — what use do you think you would be to the world? C3.2 From conception to birth For the period we spent in the womb, we must mostly thank our mother but also our father who may have taken extra care of mother during pregnancy. Throughout the forty weeks of pregnancy, the mother needed to take regular medical check- EFTA00286612

ups. Even though she may not have liked to eat certain sorts of nutritious diet suitable for her baby's health, she had to eat those things, nonetheless. Even though she might have wanted to eat certain sorts of food but knowing that these things may have been damaging to her baby, she had to go without them (e.g. avoiding the temptation of spicy (etc.) foods, drink and cigarettes) during the pregnancy, wearing loose clothes and having to leave strenuous work to others. Not only physically must the mother protect the child in her womb, but even the serenity of state of mind of the child in the womb must be protected by avoiding quarrels, conflict and anxiety. C.3.3 From Birth to adulthood A second word used for parents is 'father' or `mother' which means 'the one who brings up their offspring'. Thus there are three types of parents — the ones we have already mentioned who bring forth children but don't bring them up, those who are step-parents who bring up the children of others and lastly, those who both give rise to children and bring them up too. Most of us find it is easier to comprehend their debt of gratitude to their parents for the care they have received from the time they are born to the time they are old enough to take care of themselves. What do you think is the time of your life when you are the most vulnerable and you can do nothing to help yourself? It is not when you have no money as a student. It is not during a war or when you are ill. None of these can compare to the risk which you undenvent on the day you were born. Normally in the face of danger we would use the powers we have (physical strength, connections, wealth or wisdom) to overcome the danger — you are able to help yourself. However, on the day you were born, if your parents didn't decide to take you as their child to bring them up do you think you could survive? Could you put up a struggle when you don't even have the strength to open your eyes? Would you have had connections enough to get you out of trouble when even your own parents hadn't wanted you? Would you have had any wealth to buy yourself out of the situation at a time when you didn't even have a scrap of cloth to wear? Would you have had the wisdom to work out solutions to your problems? The reality of the situation is that we could only survive because ow parents were kind enough to accept us. Normally if someone is to adopt a child they would have to take a long, long time to make that decision. If you were going to lend some money to someone, you have to have your conditions and your contracts — but for us there was only unconditional acceptance. Thus even that moment of acceptance at the most vulnerable time of ow life is more than we can easily reimburse. Even when the child is in the womb, even though they don't know how the child would turn out, they would lay down their life to protect the child in their womb. C3.4 Physical Care If you compare man with the animals, there is no comparable animal which takes so long or expends so much effort in the care of its young. Usually the larger the animal, the longer it must stay in the womb (gestation period) and the longer it must rely on the care of its parents after its birth. Even an el- ephant with its huge size and a gestation period of three years will only look after a baby elephant for two years. Man although much smaller in size than any elephant often looks after his children for twenty years. They have done the job of protecting us like a guardian angel ever since we were born. Even after that we expect our parents to organize our marriages and pass their legacy on to us. Parents provide food, shelter, clothing, education and medical care for their children, supporting us in every way. Parents often have to put themselves at risk or in debt in order to look after their children. If you find a woman catching fish or shoplifting, 99 times out of 100 she is doing it only to feed her child — if it was for herself she would never take such a risk. C.3.5 Spiritual Care Keeping us healthy and educated was not the only responsibility which our parents had to shoulder. Even our own basis of moral understanding had to come from our parents. If ow parents had relied EFTA00286613

always on the saying "do what I say not what I do", by now we would surely have grown up into hypocrites. Our parents were an example for us to follow as well as scolding and punishing us for doing unacceptable things, keeping an eye on our friends and choosing only the best books for us to read. Who taught us to speak and walk? Who taught us all the basic virtues of life and had the patience to remind us when we were lazy or forgetful? Parents are a child's first teacher because they are the first to teach a child his manners and how to behave. Even when we are grown up and supposedly responsible and independent, the generosity and care of our parents doesn't come to an end but we find that they are always there to help when we have important questions like that of marriage and the last thing ow parents do for us before they die is to pass on their accumulated wealth for us. These are just a very brief summary of some of the ways in which we have been helped by our parents. Even the most tough and insensitive man or woman, when they become parents manages to find in the deepest part of their hearts the most tender and unlimited love for their own children and because of the purity of parental intention which fathers and mothers manage to find, ther people of old used to say you don't need to go any further than your own house in order to find an object of worship. C4 Practical recollections to appreciate your debt of gratitude According to the SilgalovAda Sutta (D.iii.180), the practicality of realizing one's debt of gratitude to one's parents can be effected by habitually reflecting: I. "I have been supported by my parents — I will support them in turn" (such a recollection helps the cultivation of Right View) 2. "I will do their work for them" (such a recollection helps the cultivation of patience, responsibility, knowledge and ability) 3. "I will keep up the honour and traditions of the family" 4."I will make myself worthy of the family legacy" (such a recollection helps one to extricate one self from the Six Roads to Ruin) 5. "I will make offerings, dedicating merit to them after their death" (such a recollection helps the cultivation of Right View and responsibility) Such recollections will not come naturally to any child who has not been raised with self-discipline, responsibility and Right View. Thus the gratitude a child has is part of a reciprocal relationship a parent has with their children — a subject explored in more depth in Blessing Twelve (0.3). D. REPAYING THE DEBT OF GRATITUDE TO OUR PARENTS D.l Expectations of Parents Poor parents would rather put themselves in debt than to see their own children suffer. Considering seemingly little things like carefully and rationally will allow us to see through to the magnitude of the debt of gratitude we own our parents. Realizing how good one's parents are is a simple but necessary precursor to the repayment of gratitude to our parents — because it is not immediately obvious or easy to understand for every person. There was once a man who, together with his brothers and sisters, had been looking after their mother throughout a constant period of two years nursing her and paying for her kidney transfusions at a cost of 20,000 per month. Such a cost was certainly quite difficult for all the brothers and sisters to bear, but if they could not pay then surely their mother would die. Because the mother was also suffering from mental-disease, as soon as she was stronger after the transfusion, she would complain continuously disturbing the sons and daughters looking after her in the middle of the night. Looking after the mother was an ordeal for everyone concerned and at the end of two years, the thought occurred to all the brothers and sisters that two years was enough. They thought that all their efforts were surely enough to repay their debt of gratitude to their mother. In actual fact, if their mother had thought the same thing of her sick sons and daughters early on in life then surely none of them would have survived to the present day. Their mother would have used the last of her earnings to EFTA00286614

see her children well again and even have gone into debt rather than seeing her children suffer. All parents have only five expectations of their children (in keeping with the five recollections of the SiigalovAda Sutta mentioned in the previous paragraph) — all of which point to ways in which children can handle the debt of gratitude they owe to their parents: I. that their children will look after them in their old age; 2. that their children will perpetuate the good work for society they have already started; 3. that their children will carry on the good name of the family; 4. that their children will use the family wealth in a responsible way 5. when they pass away their children will perform funeral rites and continue to dedicate the positivity of good deeds for their parents . The extent to which a child manages to do all five of these things varies from person to person — but in general you can categorize children into three types: I. The child whose virtue exceeds that of his parents and who brings more prosperity to the family as during the time of his parents [abhijAtaputta] 2. The child whose virtue equals that of his parents and who brings the same degree of prosperity to the family as was brought during the time of his parents [anujAtaputta] 3. The child whose virtue is less than that of his parents and who brings less prosperity to the family than during the time of his parent [avajAtaputta] D.2 Service Repaying to our parents' goodness through service is divided into two parts: I. Service when they are still alive: When they are still alive help them in their daily chores. look after them when they are old, make sure that they are well fed, and care for them when they are not well. If they still have debts when they are in their old age then try to pay these debts off before they die. Serve them by making life more convenient (e.g. building an extra toilet for aged parent) 2. Service after their death: When they pass away host their funeral and habitually offer the positivity you generate as the result of your meditation for their benefit: (even if we transfer merit to them and they are unable to accept it we have still done ow duty to the best of ow ability like giving a car to someone who cannot use it or cannot use it immediately) D.2.I While parents alive D.2.1.I Honour In order to show your respect for the pure intention which our parents have always shown us it is fitting to offer clothing, housing or medicine. Sometimes we might give a gilt to our parents, not out of necessity, but in order to honour our parents. Sometimes out of their goodwill for us aged parents or old people will seem to be very fussy or critical because they have a lot of life experience (more than us). Sometimes they are really too fussy, but you need to be able to tolerate what they are saying and think that they still have that goodwill for you. If we are patient, we can learn a lot from their experiences. Also there may be some things we should keep to ourselves instead of burdening old parents. Old people are weak and cannot do much for themselves. Only their mouth is in good working order — so be patient when old people talk a lot. D.2.I.2 Protection Protect your parents from things that you know annoy them or tire them. If you can alleviate stressful duties which might fall upon your parents, you can help them to enjoy the last years of their life more and preserve their dignity. D.2.I.3 Spiritual IVays of Repayment All the above we are not enough to repay our debt of gratitude in all the ways above then does that mean that we have no way of repaying our gratitude? In fact the way which it is possible to repay our debt is though Internal support' by giving them heaven as their afterlife destination. EFTA00286615

I. inspiring them to faith in the Triple Gem and nur- ture them further to; 2. be generous and keep a baseline of thcpalifiade them to listen to spiritual teachings: Some old parents are unable to go to a place where they can hear spiritual teachings for themselves but you can help the situation by reading them spiritual books to them or record a cassette of teaching for them to hear 4. teach them how to meditate S. ordaining to pay debt of gratitude: In Thai culture especially, there is a tradition for sons to ordain temporarily at the age of twenty in order that the parents may gain merit from organizing their ordination. It is said that the sponsor of an ordination ceremony will gain half of the merit of the ordinand himself, therefore, as a dutiful son, finding the opportunity to ordain in order to repay one's debt of gratitude to one's parents, is an important part of cultivating the eleventh blessing. D.2.2 When parents have already passed away Even if your parents have already passed away, your duty as a grateful son or daughter is not finished. Apart from taking responsibility for organizing a fitting funeral, Buddhist sons and daughters will do meritorious deeds regularly and transfer the merit from the deeds for the benefit of their deceased parents. heir or will not make the earth will not laugh or cry. Thus if you want to announce to the world the goodness of your parents, you don't need to shout about it. The goodness of your parents will shine through your own behaviour, manners, the way you speak without you even having to mention your parents. We represent our parents and the way they have brought us up. We are their flesh and blood. Our mannerisms also come from our upbringing. That is why our behaviour is the most vivid way of announcing their goodness. It is not in their biography that we hand out at their funeral, but rather by our own behaviour which matters. Everyone loves their parents. Having this love one should an- nounce their goodness through our good behaviour starting while they are still alive. In doing so, we will make them very happy. This is more important than writing their goodness in their biography which is of minute importance. It doesn't matter whether we intentionally want to announce our parents, goodness through our behaviour or not. Our actions speakfor themselves. It is up to us to create a good name for them through our behaviour. In doing so we make ourselves worthy to receive our parents' legacy. F. RECIPROCAL RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN PARENT BrdialikDSiigalovAda Sutta we learn that a child has duties towards his parents and parents have duties towards their children (see detail Blessing Twelve E. ANNOUNCING THE GOODNESS OF OUR PARE ilr en will fulfil their side of the bargain and in doing . In the ideal world, both the parents and the Some people mistakenly think that a large family is so, no danger will grow up in the relationship or for interchangeable with a family of good repute. Thus they have many, many children thinking that in this way society at large — there will be happiness and prosperity both for parent, child and society at large. they will bring happiness to their own parents. However, whether one has an heir or not is not something that will make your parents or anyone else in the world laugh or cry. What is better — to have a hundred sons and daughters who do nothing to better the family reputation, or to work yourself bringing fame and fortune to the family yourself by the good and beneficial things you do for the rest of society — a person who is so good that their love is not limited to just a few sons and daughters but to the whole of the world (a parent to the whole of the world). Whether you have an If the child fulfils their duty according to Blessing Eleven but the parent doesn't fulfil their duty according to Blessing Twelve, harm will come to the parents and eventually to the child and society as well. There are some exceptional cases where a child has been so mistreated at the hands of his own parents that he or she finds it near impossible to imagine anything good about their parents. In such a case, we must remind ourselves that even if our parents abandon us at birth, we still have a huge EFTA00286616

debt of gratitude to them for giving us our physical form as a human. In a case where one has been beaten or abused by one's parents, it is important to make a separation between the good things they have done to you and the bad. We must repay ow debt of gratitude for the good things and do our best to forgive the bad things, without mixing them up or thinking that one cancels out the other. Sometimes a dutiful son or daughter knows that giving their parents money will only fuel them into doing irresponsible things (like gambling) — in such cases, they should still be supported, but the support should be in the form of food or clothing that they cannot change into money. Such parents should be treated like a patient who is ill and sometimes can not be given what they crave for — but our parents should never be insulted by us because of their weaknesses. If the parents fulfil their duty according to Blessing Twelve, but the child does not fulfil their duty according to Blessing Eleven, harm will come to the child and eventually to the parents and society as well. If the child doesn't do their duty according to Blessing Eleven and the parents don't fulfil their duty according to Blessing Twelve, immediate harm will come to both and to society too. G. ILLUSTRATIVE EXAMPLES G.1 Metaphor: Parents as God [Brahma] Our parents have been compared to ow "God" or "Brahma" because they exhibit towards us all the underlying virtues exhibited by a God, i.e. the four Divine Abidings [brahmavihAra]: 1. loving-kindness [mettA]: parents have the limitless wish that their children should remove themselves from suffering in every respect. 2. compassion [karunA]: the parents make every effort to diminish the suffering of their children, never neglecting their child 3. sympathetic joy [muditA]: whenever the child experiences success or happiness, the parents are sincerely happy on their child's part 4. equanimity [upekkhA]: when the child has their own family and is able to look after its own affairs, the parents no longer interfere. If the chil dren make mistakes, the parents refrain from saying "I told you so", but give their opinion when asked for it. G.2 Metaphor: Parents as one's first Guardian Angel The parents are the first people known to the child to offer their protection to the child in every way G.3 Metaphor: Parents as First Teacher The parents are the first people known to the child to teach and train the child, whether it be how to walk or talk or how to cultivate good manners. G.4 Metaphor: Parents as Arahant The parents are as the child's arahant because they have four qualities: I. They bring the child great benefit: The parents fulfil the challenging duty of caring for the child in every way — something it would be hard to find anyone else to do in their place. 2. They command respect but are endearing: protecting the child from all dangers, they also manage to bring gentle warmth to the child's life. 3. They are the child's field of merit: They have com- pletely pure intentions towards their children, making them a worthy object for the child's merit-making 4. They are worthy of being bowed to: a child should express his respect for his parents by bowing or saluting them. G.5 Metaphor: Gold plate v.s Solid Gold Just as you can tell the difference between a gold-plated object and one that is solid gold by passing it through a flame, you can tell whether someone is truly virtuous by whether or not he cherishes his parents. G.6 Proverb: Carrying one's parents on one's shoulders for 100 years The Buddha taught that even if we were to carry our parents, one on each shoulder, for one hundred years, spoon-feeding them and allowing them to urinate and defecate on us, it would still be insufficient fully to repay our debt of gratitude to our parents. EFTA00286617

6.7 Proverb: A skyful of parental praise If we were to use Mount Sumeru as our pen and all the water of the ocean as ow ink, even if we were to write the virtues of ow parents in the sky until there were no place left to write, the mountain were worn down and the seawater dry, we would still not have reached an end of our parents virtues. G.8 Er. The monk who went on almsround for his parents(MAtuposaka Sutta SA.181) Normally when a monk has gathered food on his almsround, he must take his meal from that food first before passing the remainder on to any lay supporters. In the time of the Buddha there was a monk whose parents were so poor they had nothing to eat. The monk went on almsround and gave the parents first choice of the food he managed to gather. Later, he was criticized by other monks who reported his behaviour to the Buddha. The Buddha said that what the monk had done was correct and that in the case a monk's parents needed food from his almsround, they may be served first and the monk himself take the remainder — an exception to the rule in keeping with the debt of grati- tude even a monk should repay to his parents. G.9 Er. KaccAni JAtaka (1.417) After his father's death, a young man devoted himself entirely to his mother, until the latter, much against his will, brought him a wife. The wife plotted to estrange mother and son, and the old woman eventually had to leave the house. Having given birth to a son, the wife, went about saying that if the mother-in-law had been with her, such a blessing would have been impossible. When the old woman heard of this, she felt that such words showed that Dhamma must be dead. The woman went to a ceremony and started to perform a rite in the memory of the dead `Dhamma'. Sakka's throne became heated and hearing her story used his powers to reconcile the old woman with her son and daughter-in-law. The story was related to a young man of SAvatthE who looked after his aged mother until his wife came. The wife helped to look after her mother-inlaw at first, but later grew jealous of her husband's love for his mother and contrived to make the son angry with his mother. Finally she asked the man to choose between herself and his mother. The young man, without hesitation stood up for his mother and the wife, realizing her folly, mended her ways. J.iii.422ff. G.10 Ex. The Begging Bowl (traditional) Once upon a time, there was a family where the mother and father were already old. The only son loved his father and mother and took good care of them running errands and helping in the house throughout his childhood. Then the son came of age got married and had his own children. Unfortu- nately, as soon as he got married he found that his wife's love for his old parents was far less titan his own. His wife chided him,"Don't you love your own children? Looking after your parents wastes time that could be better spent earning a good wage — let your parents look after themselves."At first he took no notice of his wife, but since his wife would complain and insist on this matter every day, eventually he forgot his debt of gratitude to his parents. He purchased a pair of clay bowls for his parents and instructed them, "Mother and father, from now on you must beg for a living," and went about earning his own living as best he could. The son's own children grew up to the age of five or six. One day their father came home from work to find his children decorating a coconut shell with the finest of ornaments. He asked, "What do you think you're doing with that coconut shell?" The children said said, "We're getting a begging bowl ready for you — to help you when you get too old to work!" Seeing his own children with the coconut shell, the father realized his own ingratitude and from that day forth invited his old parents to stay in his own home and looked after them in the best of comfort until the end of their days. This illustrates how powerful the parent's influence on his child and shows that the child's standard of good deeds comes directly from his parent's example. The Lord Buddha taught that the debt of gratitude we owe to ow parents is so great that it would EFTA00286618

be hard to repay that debt of gratitude within a single life-time. Thus it is one of the duties outlined inthe SilgalovAda Sutta and the Malgala Sutta to cherish our own parents especially in old age. By doing this we not only repay our endebtedness to ow parents for giving us life — but we strengthen the structure of society to make it free from alienation especially for the senior citizens in society some of whom receive more comfort from their pet cats and dogs these days, than they do from their own sons and daughters. G.11 Et Even Buddha must care for his parents Even the Buddha himself devoted considerable time and effort to repaying the debt of gratitude he had to his parents. The Buddha spent the whole of one rainy-season retreat in TavatiOsa Heaven, through the might of his mental powers, in order to teach his late mother the whole of the Abhidhamma. His mother Queen MAyA had passed away only seven days after the birth of Prince Siddhartha. G.12 Et The Abandoned Brahmin Once, there lived in SAvatthE an old brahmin who was extremely rich. He had four sons and when each of the sons got married, he gave him a share of his wealth. Then, he gave away half of his remaining property to them. Later, his wife died. His sons came to him and looked after him very well and they were very loving and affectionate to him. During the course of time, somehow they influenced him to give them the other half of the remaining property. Thus, he was left penniless. First he went to stay with his eldest son. After a few days, the daughter-in-law said to him, 'Did you give any extra wealth to your eldest son? Don't you know the way to the house of your other sons?' Hearing this, the old brahmin got very angry and left the eldest son's house for the house of his second son. The same remarks were made by the wife of his second son and the old man went to the house of his third son and fi- nally to the house of the fourth and youngest. Thus, the old man was left destitute and taking a staff and a bowl he went to the Buddha for pro tection and advice. At the monastery, the brahmin told the Buddha how his sons had mistreated him. The Enlightened One taught him some verses and advised him to recite them wherever there was a large gathering of people. The gist of the verses was as follows: 'My four foolish sons are like ogres. They call me `father, father' but the words come only out of their mouths and not from their hearts. They are deceitful and scheming. Taking the advice of their wives they have driven me out of their houses. So, now I have been reduced to begging. Those sons are of less service to me than this staff of mine.' When the appointed day came for the brahmins of SAvatthE to hold their meeting and knowing that his sons would be there, the old brahmin also attended the meeting. Now at that time, the pre- vailing law dictated that -whoever ill-treats his mother or father and does not support or look after them shall be punished". Many people in the crowd, on hearing the verses recited by the old brahmin, went wild with rage at the ungrateful sons and threatened them for neglecting their father. Then the sons realised their mistakes and knelt down at the feet of their father and asked for pardon. They also promised that from that day forth, they would look after him properly and would respect, love and honour him. They also warned their wives to look after their father well. Each of the sons gave him proper food and clothing. Thus the brahmin became healthier. So, he went to the Buddha and humbly requested him to accept two food-trays out of the four he was receiving every day from his sons. One day, the eldest son invited the Buddha to his house for almsfood. After the meal, the Buddha gave a discourse on the benefits to be gained by looking after one's parents. The Buddha related to themthe story of the elephant called Dhanapala, who looked after his parents. Dhanapala when captured pined for the parents who were left in the forest. DhammapadaEEhakathA, XXIII: 3 EFTA00286619

G.13 Orphan with a Debt to Pay (traditional) There was once a woman of the streets who was with child. By profession she knew that if the child was born a boy, she would be unable to keep him. Her anxiety only increased day-by-day until at the end of nine months, her fears were realized. The new- born babe was a boy. Many times she took the baby to the river's edge with the full intention to drown him and finish the whole business, but with tears in her eyes from having borne him in her womb for so long, she could not bring herself todo it. At the same time, she could not keep the child or else she would destroy her livelihood. Shc left him in a bundle by the roadside with the thought that there might be some chance of a compassionate passer-by seeing the child and adopting him. The first passer-by that morning was the abbot from the local temple on his almsround. He spotted the baby and afraid that he starve, took him back to the temple. The abbot guessed how the baby had come to be there but in the absence of anyone coming to claim him back, provided all the food, shelter, clothing and education the child needed to grow-up to teenage. The boy could run and play with the other children and do everything expected of him but he had a chip on his shoulder and would run and hide if any of the others teased him for not having a mother and father. The boy would blame his unseen parents for the predicament in which he found himself. One day the abbot heard the boy complaining out loud about the parents who had abandoned him. The abbot thought, - the time has come to talk to this boy about his life." "If someone were to give you a dollar, would you curse him?" the abbot asked the boy. "Of course not," replied the boy, "I should bow to that person, or at least thank him and I would not forget my gratitude to him!" "And if someone were to come along and offer you a dollar for your life would you take it?" "Of course I wouldn't," replied the boy indignantly."Do you think that's all my life is worth?" "Ten dollars then?" "You must be joking!" The abbot raised the sum to a hundred, a thousand, ten-thousand, a hundred-thousand and a million dollars, but the boy would not part with his life. Asked why, the boy replied, "even a million dollars is useless if you have no life left to spend it." "Well, what about if someone were to come along and offer you a dollar to cut off your right arm? Would you take it?' "Of course I wouldn't," replied the boy indignantly."Do you think that's all the integrity of my body is worth?' "Ten dollars then?' "Daylight robbery!" The abbot raised the sum to a hundred, a thousand, ten-thousand, a hundred-thousand and a million dollars, but the boy would not part with his right arm. "Don't you want to be a millionaire?" asked the abbot. The boy said,"even a million dollars is no substitute for the loss of one's physical integrity." "And if someone were to come along and offer you a dollar to cut off your little finger? Would you take it?" "Of course I wouldn't," replied the boy indignantly." Do you think you can put a price on part of the human body?" "Ten dollars then?' "Forget it!" The abbot raised the sum to a hundred, a thousand, ten-thousand, a hundred-thousand and a million dollars, but the boy would not part with his little finger. Asked why, the boy said that even a million dollars could not replace the thing most precious to him — a healthy, human body. "Just now you said that if someone gave you a dollar, you would thank him, bow to him and never forget your gratitude to him — yet your parents have given you your healthy, human body free, even the little finger of which you would not part with for a million dollars — how come you sit here cursing them for not having given you more?" EFTA00286620

Blessing Twelve: Raising our children A. Introduction A.I The Harm of Bad Parental Upbringing The SiigalovAda Sutta teaches us to develop respect for human dignity towards ourselves, towards others and towards a fair economic system in general. Sometimes we have to work on ourselves throughout our lives to develop these qualities, but for sure, the seeds of these qualities for every "global being" need to be planted by the parents during childhood as part of that child's upbringing. If the child is neglected when growing up, they will grow up to lack any sense of responsibility for: I. their own human dignity 2. the human dignity of others 3. the human dignity underlying the economics of society at large The catastrophe brought to society by such parental neglect can be enlarged asfollows: I. lacking responsibility for their own human dignity means: if the parents lack self-discipline and don't fulfil the minimal duties laid down by the Buddha, the first signs of harm will be that their children lack any sense of responsibility for their own human dignity — this being expressed in four different ways by the child's behaviour: I. False View: the child will not know the difference between virtue and evil, good and bad, appropriate and inappropriate and therefore will have no shame of evil [hiri] or fear of the consequences of evil; 2. Lack of aim in life: the child will have no spiritual aim in life, and therefore will tend to material extravagence and selfishness. Such a person will take every opportunity to do evil deeds that their circumstances and needs demand; 3. Lack of health and hygene: the child will be in- competent in looking after their own health, perhaps being promiscuous, thereby destroying their own health and human endowments; 4. Lack of interest in self-development: Because of having no clear aim in life or perhaps because of bad health, the child will be discouraged from any efforts to study either worldly or spiritual knowledge. As a result they become even more entrenched in False View and may bring catastrophe to society — perhaps going even so far as to betray their own country. 2. lacking responsibility for the human dignity of oth- ers: if the parents lack self-discipline and don't fulfil their own duties, the second sign of harm will be that their children lack any sense of responsibility for the human dignity of others sharing society— this being expressed in three different ways by the child's behaviour: I. Bias: Having perhaps been on the receiving end of parental bias, when older and finding themselves in positions of responsibility, the EFTA00286621

child's tendency to bias in decision-making, because of greed, hatred, delusion or fear, may do important damage to others in society; 2. Narrow-minded and selfish: If the child grows up into someone narrow-minded and selfish, they might be alienated in society for the rest of their life because no-one wants to associate with them. 3. Lacks any signs of altruism: Having perhaps not had any parental training in altruism, when coming in contact with a wider society, when the child's patience is tried, they might lose control of themselves, expressing themselves in a rude or violent way. 3. lacking responsibility for self-discipline (economic fairness): if the parents lack self-discipline and don't fulfil their own duties, the second sign of harm will be that their children lack any sense of responsibility for self-discipline (economicfaimess) — this being expressed in three differ- ent ways by the child's behaviour: 1. Frivolous with money: not seeing the value of money, and lacking restraint in expenditure, when a child is no longer able to ask money from their parents, they look for new sources of income, the easiest of which are usually those concerned with the Six Roads to Ruin. 2. Addicted to the Six Roads to Ruin 3. Unable to uphold the family name: Even while still young, the badly-raised child can destroy the family name and when older, they will be unable to act as a steward for the family fortune. In conclusion it can be said that two major problems stem from bad upbringingof children: 1. Problems of Juvenile Delinquency: Problems con- cerning young people in every country are becoming increasingly serious and aggressive with every year that passes. In the olden days, the problems of young people would affect only those of age fifteen upwards, but now the problems are evident from primary school upwards. 2. Parental Problems: Neglect of parental duties would appear to hold a large stake in the problems of young people — when parents lack the self-discipline to fulfil their own duties, it is no surprise that their children have no self-discipline either and lack any sense of responsibility for human dignity. Juvenile delinquency starts in the home and goes on to exacerbate all other sorts of social problems. Most people fail to see the connection between the problems, but the Lord Buddha recognized the importance of the parental duty in bringing up their children properly — and in the SilgalovAda Sutta, accordingly put the parents in the most prestigious Eastern Quarter (where the sun rises) as a reminder of the importance of this relationship. The implication of the Buddha's teaching is that anyone unwilling or unable to fulfil the duties of a good parent according to the Buddha's teaching, should consider themselves too immature to marry or have a family — because if they go ahead and have a family while still unable to be a good parent, they are sowing the seeds of im- mediate social catastrophe. Realizing the seriousness of the duties upon the shoulders of any parent, it is obvious that we must take care in studying exactly how the Buddha taught parents to raise their children and the means by which these can be achieved. In doing so,we can guard against becoming the sort of parents who look back on what they have achieved during their life and feel nothing but regret — because there is nothing more heartbreaking than having brought up a child who makes a mess out of their own life, life of others or of society at large. A.2 The True Meaning of the Word 'Child' The Pali word for 'child' is 'putt'''. This word is still found in some European languages and usually means a sort of 'cherub'. However, if you look a the root of the word, it doesn't just mean 'child' but also 'unstained', 'pure' or 'fulfilling'. Thus the real meaning of a child is to be the one who purifies the family name. The word also means the one who brings joy to the heart of his parents. The child we bring up may be of our own flesh or blood, or the child may be adopted — the Buddha categorized children according to their origins: EFTA00286622

I. ones born of our own flesh [atraja] 2. ones born on ow property [khettaja] 3. adopted children given to us by others [dinnaka] 4. our students [antevAsika] KaEEhahAri JAtaka (J.i. 35) — but it makes no difference to the thoroughness with which we must practice our parental duties towards them. It is implied that no matter how the child in our care comes to us, we must still practice and fulfil our parental duties towards them. Some people who still have a lot of defilements want to have a lot of children. Luang Phaw Wat Paknam said that if you want to have a lot of children who are full of virtue you should ordain as a monk because you will have many students as your children. If you have children of your own flesh and blood who turn out troublesome they you have to put up with looking after them the whole of your life. However, if they are your students and they are troublesome at least you can make your selection.You can say goodbye to the troublemak- ers and choose the good ones. Look at the Buddha's example — even after 2,500 years after his ParinibbAna there are still children of the Buddha being born today. B. THE COMPONENTS OF GOOD UPBRINGING 'Would be' parents must prepare themselves, both inworldly and spiritual ways so they are ready to bring a good child into the world and bring him up to be a good person. The parent needs to prepare themselves for three different stages bringing a good child into the world: I. before conception 2. from conception to birth 3. from birth to adulthood The task is not easy — really it can be considered a full-time job — but the benefits of success will be the lifelong pride of the parents. As already mentioned, 'good child' from the parents' point of view, covers abroad range of meanings: in brief, possessing all sorts of virtues, good physique and sound mind. However, it is hard to find a person perfect in every sense of the word. Generally, a child held to be good, will have three qualities; they will be brainy; well-behaved (i.e. be able to follow the Precepts), and good hearted (i.e. generous and compassionate). These are the basis of a child's virtue. Any other goodness in which the parent can train their child, are all well and good and will add to the parents' pride in their child. B. I Before Conception The parent must be both physically and mentally prepared to bring a good child into the world. For Buddhists, physical preparation alone is not sufficient because our human being consists not only of a body, but also of a mind: necessitating careful spiritual preparation for parents. The knowledge which Buddhism gives to `would be' parents goes far beyond the frontiers of even modem medical science. According to Buddhist Teachings, each and every creature has their own individual kamma (i.e. store- house of potential results of good and bad deeds performed in the past). According to the Buddhist proverb (S.i.227): YAdisaO vappate bEjaO TAdisaO harate phalaO KalyAAakArE kalyAAaO PApakArE ca pApakaO One reaps the fruit from the (type of) seed one sows: lovely out comes from lovely ac tions, ugly outcomes from ugly actions. Buddhist teachings also show that those who have done good deeds will be reborn in heaven after dying from the human realm, and when he is reborn in the human realm, he will be born to wealthy and morally proper parents. A person who has performed a lesser amount of merit, when being reborn into the human realm, will be born to a less wealthy or even poor family, according to the degree of his merit. The being always carries its past merits with it, even between births, and this merit has a determining effect on who its next parents will be. A being awaiting rebirth into the human realm will be born to parents with a level of merit equal to its own. It cannot be born to parents whose merit is greater or less than its own. Therefore, in order to bring a child into the world that is good, a EFTA00286623

'would be' parent must perform as many meritorious deeds as possible, by making donations, keeping the Five Precepts and, most importantly, by meditating regularly. The result of such meritorious action will be to attract a being with a good level of merit to be born into their family. By these very actions, a 'would be' parent prepares themself spiritually, ready to be a good father or mother — pure in body, speech and mind, beautified by the wisdom of meditation and ready to welcome the birth of a child perfect in personality and Dhamma. In the time of Luang Phaw Wat Paknam there was a merchant who came to Luang Phaw Wat Paknam complaining that for many years he had being trying to have a child without success. Luang Phaw Wat Paknam asked him what sort of child he wanted. Ile said he wanted a good and virtuous child who was rich. Ile wanted a handsome child too. Luang Phaw Wat Paknam said that whatever you want your child to turn out like you have to make yourself as good as you want your child to be first — like a blueprint. Then he meditated to see which angel was about to run out of subtle merit (and die from heaven) who had those son of characteristics and would suggest which mother and father had a matching level of merit to be their new parents. If soldiers wanted a brave child then Luang Phaw \Vat Paknam would give them the same advice to make themselves brave first of all. Some people might wonder why in some cases good children seem to be born to parents who are horrible and cruel and why good parents sometimes have horrible children or idiots. Such cases don't mean that the Law of Karma has its exceptions, but first we must understand all of the causes and effects coming into play. It is like breaking through the net. Supposing there is the case that a certain mother and father are good but they have an awful child. The circumstances for the birth might go something like this ... supposing on the father's birthday all his friends assemble at his house to wish him a happy birthday. He thinks, "when in Rome you must do as do the Romans". Usually he never touches alcohol but on this occasion he makes an exception and opens a bottle of wine for all his friends. As the host he feels compelled to take the first sip of wine before passing the bottle on to his friends. A second sip follows the first and before long he feels slightly drunk (because he is not used to it). It happens that that very night is the night that he conceives a child. At the time both parents happen to be drunk, a being seeking to be born, a being with the karma of drunkeness in the past, finds just the right pair. Into the womb it goes and the (usually) good couple get themselves a baby that is going to grow up with the habits of a drunkard. The moral of the story is, if you do good deeds, do good deeds consistently and don't open the opportunity to mistakes. Thus for a couple who have been good the whole of their lives but slip up for a single day, they might have to spend the rest of their lives bringing up a mentally handicapped child or a child that is mute. On the other hand there may be really terrible parents that have a good child. In Thailand of course there are some of the worst robbers and murderers. However, before they go out to do their duty they will always ask for the blessing from the Triple Gem so that they can do their duty in safety. When they have accomplished their crime, again they ask the blessing of theTriple Gem to protect them from the police. In their wicked heart, there is still a glimmer of goodness. Sometimes, especially in a Buddhist country, although they are thinking of evil almost the whole of the time, because the environment is an amenable one, there will be things to remind them of virtue from time to time (e.g. when they see a monk passing by, or there are sermons broadcast on the radio and TV). Thus sometimes when there is something to kindle the glimmer of goodness to a glow in heart of a mother and father who are usually never interested in such things then there is a slight possibility that they may conceive a virtuous child. However the chance is really remote — not enough to pin your hopes on. R2 From Conception to Birth Even two thousand five hundred years ago, the Lord Buddha's own mother, Queen MahAmAyA knew how to take painstaking care of both her EFTA00286624

physical and spiritual well-being while she was with child. The queen ate only agreeable foods and frequented the harmony of the natural environment as she came close to the time of childbirth. Queen MAyA also maintained purity and stillness of mind throughout pregnancy by keeping the Eight Precepts and meditating. It seems that for Buddhists, care of the child since conception is an implicit part of the `art of motherhood', re-iterated anew in the present day when medical science is catching up with ancient knowhow...and seemingly coming to the same conclusions... The mother who keeps the fifth of the five precepts will need not worry that her child be under weight or handicapped at birth because refraining from alcohol, intoxicating drugs and cigarettes cuts out a significant proportion of the risk in this respect. Even medicine taken by the mother, may have side effects for the unborn child, and medicines taken should therefore only be those prescribed by the family doctor. Consideration of physical health alone is not sufficient — the mother needs to be spiritually healthy too, so that the child to be born is perfect in mind as well as body. Modem medical science has shown that the embryo is sensitive to its mother's moods and emotions. Indeed, during the time of being carried in the womb, the child is in the process of character formation. The art of having a good child is acknowledged these days, not to be merely a matter of genetic engineering, but of the suitability of the intra-uterine environment created by the mother during pregnancy; it is the key to raising one's children from the time of conception. For this reason, the pregnant mother, the mother should attempt to keep her mind calm, undisturbed, stable and cheerful during the time of pregnancy. There is no end to the practical ways in which the mother can help the character of the child in the womb. While she is carrying the child, the mother should imagine pictures of how she would like her child to turn out. She should speak and sing lullabies to the child in her womb. She shouldn't worry whether the child can hear or not, but bear in mind that if the child is at ease when he hears the moth er's voice, this influence will carry across to the time when the child is born. If the pregnant mother is at ease when she hears the word 'SammA-arahaO', the baby, when it is born, will immediately be at ease whenever it hears the words `SammAarahaO1. The mother should be a teacher to the baby she is carrying: a teacher of meditation. Just by creating, the mood of centredness and peace for the child, when he closes his eyes inside the mother's womb, he will see not darkness but a brightness inside himself — the brightness of the virtue of his own two parents. There are certain things which the pregnant mother should avoid too. Just as good experiences by the mother can have a good effect on the child, during pregnancy, if there is any adverse influence on the mother's mind, the embryo will be adversely affected. If a child is born into the womb of a mother who often quarrels, the child which is born is likely to be morose and uncheerful by nature. Thus, if the mother finds stressful conditions at work, or has other traumatic experiences, the child will be highly strung. Better then, for the mother to take maternal leave from work during her pregnancy Very negative thoughts by the mother, especially by those mothers who have contemplated abortion, are picked up by the child and may cause the child to have an instinctive distrust or fear of his mother throughout their life. Better then, that the mother meditate every day, perform chanting, give alms and listen to sermons. The child whose mother is positive thinking and cheerful during pregnancy, is likely to be cheerful and positive thinking like her. Parents who make great self sacrifices, careful and wise in the support of their child during pregnancy, will gain a child who is an altruist, thorough and wise. The care taken by the mother during pregnancy will be transformed by the child into love and respect for his parents, a readiness to go on to the next stage of his development that will come after his delivery. Even the attitude of the father has an influence on the well-being of the baby in the womb of his wife. The father will have to work harder when his wife is pregnant, helping her with the heavy work EFTA00286625

she would normally do herself and being careful not to create situations that are going to irritate or upset the serenity of the mother. Even if normally he might bring the tensions and stresses of his work back home with him, now he must start to be more careful to leave his work in the office and not bring the chaos of his work home with him. 11.3 From Birth to Adulthood There are five duties for the parent in bringing up their children from the time the child is born to the time he is old enough to look after himself (D.iii.I 80): I. Not allowing your child to do anything evil 2. Teach your child to be established in virtue 3. See that your child is educated 4. Arrange your child's marriage 5. Pass on your legacy to your child For all five of these parental duties (especially es- tablishing the child in virtue) it is absolutely necessary that the parents have the following four qualities: I. the ability to distinguish themselves between good and evil — i.e. they should be established in Right View. 2. patience 3. ability to recognize the characteristics of False Friends and Good Friends 4. self-discipline If potential parents lack these prerequisites, perhaps they should wait until they manage to develop them before considering to have children. 8.3.1 Not allowing their child to succumb to wickedness Not allowing your child to succumb to wickedness means to prevent your child exhibiting any of the sixteen traits already mentioned in the first blessing for "false friends". Whether a child grows up into a fool or a wise one depends on their teacher and their environment. The first and most immediate environment to the child are the parents themselves. So here are some practical tips for how to prevent you child from doing evil: I. Set a good example: Thus the first thing you must do to teach your child to do no evil is not to say or do anything evil in front of your children. Hypocritical behaviour in front of your children will ruin their upbringing. Parents drink alcohol and smoke in front of their children and even send their children to buy liquor and cigarettes. They explain to the child "don't drink or smoke when you grow up — its bad for you!", but they think they themselves are too old to change and therefore don't even attempt to set an example. Such a lesson is of no value to the child. Even parents who teach their children to lie will suffer in the end because the parent will become a victim of their own insincerity. 2. Keep devices for evil-doing out of the house: You need to make sure the environment in the house is one which doesn't encourage evil, you should make sure that you don't allow equipment for doing evil into the house right from the time your first child is born objects such liquor bottles, wine brewing kits, gambling tables or pornographic materials should be cleared out of the house and no further such things allowed to enter into the house any more. 3. Help choose your child's friends: Parents need to have a close relationship with both their child and his friends. This is to make sure that your child is not associating with friends who are going to influence him in a damaging way. Here are two suggestions which may be useful in this respect: I. Regular tea parties for a child and their friends: child and his friends to come to play once a week. It may be extra work to prepare cakes for all those friends but while the friends are tucking in to their tea, the parents will learn enough about the character of the friends from the things they say to advise their child which friends to associate with. 2. At least one communal family meal per day: There should be at least one meal a day when all the family come together — maybe the evening meal — to give the chance for the parents to notice any signs of guilt on a child's face. The first time the child does something wrong (such as lying, smoking or shoplifting), the guilt will be very noticeable, the second and EFTA00286626

subsequent times, less and less noticeable, until in the end there is no guilt. If the family are all together once day each day, then the parent can correct a child's behaviour while it is still fresh in the child's mind If your child plays with friends who are evil, then he will absorb those habits as his own such as swearwords or unattractive slang. On a wider scale, bad friends may bring ruin to the family, as illustrated by the story of a chameleon playmate betraying an iguana tribe in the Godha JAtaka (see §C.4 below). 4. Dare to discipline: For children who have done a lot of good deeds in the past, you will not have to give very many suggestions or spend too much time correcting their behaviour. Some children seem to know instinctively what is right and what is wrong and always keep themselves on the straight and narrow. For some children, being told off a single time will be enough to keep them from doing something evil all their life. However, there are some children who, take no notice however many times they are warned. If after sufficient criticism and reasoning the child is still stubborn or unresponsive or tries to see how far they can "try it on" with their parents' authority, they may need to be beaten. If they are not beaten they may be spoiled for the rest of their lives. Parents who need to punish their children must give serious consideration to what long term effects the punishment will have on the child. The long term aim in educating a child to avoid evil is to build up shame of doing evil [hiri] and fear of the consequences of evil [ottappa]. Many cultures think that beating a child is a necessary part of a child's education (viz. the English proverb "Spare the rod and spoil the child" — see §C.2 TilamuEEhi JAtaka below), however, to beat a child, especially out of anger, teaches a child only to fear the parent or fear the stick, rather than fearing evil. Besides undermining parent child relationships, as the child grows bigger and stronger, the parent will be less and less able to control the child's behaviour by force. The objective parents should have in punishing a child is to shame the child from doing such an evil thing again. B.3.2 Teach your Child to be Established in Virtue The first -good friends" to each and every one of usin the world are our parents or guardians — they are the ones to instill the virtue of **being a teacher to yourself' [yonisomanasikAra) in a child — and each parent must take responsibility for such a duty — from the time their child first opens their eyes to the world onwards. There is ample medical and psychological evidence to suggest that every individual is impressionable right from the time of being a baby — for example a baby whose nappy is left unchanged regularly and soiled for long period of time is liable later in life to unhygienic and messy habits. Thus parents should not be neglectful in setting-up the sort of habits they would like to see in their children — as for higher virtues— the importance is proportionally greater — you cannot just wait for teachers or schools to do the job for you — they will never be able to give full attention to the task because their students are many and the time for each is limited — and what's more a children's time spent at school is still less than the time spent at home. For all of these reasons — the instilling of virtue in children is an important duty for the parents — right from the time the child is still a baby. It is a duty which requires perseverance and consistency and requires an understanding or sequencing and graduation in virtues taught to know what to teach a child first and what to keep until they are older. Just as mentioned for "preventing your child from doing evil", the parents can influence the child in a positive ways by: I. Setting a good example to your child: parents should show their generosity, do chanting etc. in front of their child and be seen by their children to take an interest in reading books on beneficial subjects. 2. Choosing good friends for your child It may seem trivial or overzealous to worry about so many aspects of a child'senvironment and de- EFTA00286627

velopment. However, it should be pointed out that a child left to his own devices has a very slim chance of developing into a well-balanced adult. Just as a child left alone will choose junk food or convenience food rather than nutritious food and grows up physically weak, a child left to choose its own sources of knowledge with out any guidelines will develop a flawed character. Thus, every child who grows up with a genuine respect for the Precepts and meditation together with a generous heart, does so only as the result of unflagging enthusiasm by his parents for instilling the value of Dhamma practice. Of course the possible virtues you can teach to a child are many, but the most important in the development of "being a teacher to yourself' are: 1. Knowledge of the highest aim of Buddhism (the high- est aim in life of humankind). Buddhism teaches us to pursue perfection — when ow perfections are fulfilled we will be able to overcome the last of the defilements in our minds — and we will be able to break free from the cycle of rebirth. 2. Knowledge of how to practice in order to achieve our highest aim in life: normally the threefold practice of self-discipline [sEla], meditation [samAdhi] and wisdom [pafiltA]. 3. The four virtues for a householder [gharavAsa- dhamma]: I. truthfulness [sacca]; 2. training oneself [dama]; 3. patience [khanti], and; 4. self-sacrifice [cAga]. 4. Supporting their religion: That Buddhists have the job of supporting their religion: Because man's highest refuge is the Triple Gem, it means that care should be taken to support the Saigha or monastic community who perpetuate and spread Buddhism. If any monastic member is deprived of the support of householders — before long he will be unable to continue in his duties — and in turn that is the end of the life of Buddhism — in other words it is the job of Buddhists to support their religion. 5. The Maigala Sutta: Principles in keeping with (especially the first six) blessings of the Maigala Sutta: I. not associating with fools: mother and father must teach children how to choose appropriate friends and spouse; 2. associating with the wise: i.e. those who are adept in self-discipline [sEla], meditation [samAdhi] and wisdom [pafitiA]; 3. honouring those worthy of respect: especially the Buddha, monks who practice well, monarchs established in the Ten Virtues of a Monarch, parents and elder relatives and various teachers — even ones boss if he is honest. Having respect for such people means attempting to follow the good example set by such people. 4. Living in an amenable location: an unpolluted environment with good prospects for work and education both in worldly and spiritual ways — and even government — not somewhere dominated criminal underworld. 5. Get down to the pursuit of the Perfections. Our work in the present time will bring its fruits in the future. In the same way the happiness we receive in the present must be the result of our pursuit of perfection in the past, the merits we accrue will bring fruits ensuring our intelligence, prosperity and progress in our duties in the future — and happiness in life in accordance with the Buddhist proverb: The accrual of merit brings happiness (Dh.33) and Merit is the refuge of beings in the world to come (J.iv.62) Furthermore, the faith of those who are steadfast the accrual of merit will be a shield to protect them from the temptation of evil ways. 6. Setting oneself up properly in life: especially having the correct aim in life. Anyone who has accumulated all the foregoing virtues will be sure to have developedthe ability to be a teacher to themselves — with the flexibility to adopt appropriate to any circumstances — and will be able to earn their living successfully — life is happy and such a person has worth to society. EFTA00286628

Apart from the virtues mentioned above, parents should be ultra-critical of table manners, sleeping habits (especially fixing bedtime) and working habits (especially working hours) — because these are all fundemental ways of developing self-discipline. Without the parent's prodding, you can be certain that self-discipline will not develop by accident. A child should also be expected to make a contribution to the work of the household since they are small if theyare waited upon hand and foot and have too much time on their hands, in the end the child may be unable to help themselves. R3.3 Giving your child an education Education is the gateway to knowledge and wisdom for your child. If a child has the chance for a full education. Then success will follow on in later life. Thus parents should instill in their children the love of education and reading by: I. choosing good books for your child: The same thing goes for books which the children should read. Of course the books most suitable for the child to read are the ones that children are too lazy to read. Children would usually like to read any sort of book of cartoons or book with no serious content instead. It is up to parents therefore, to find ways to make useful books interesting to their children, such as getting the children to read such books aloud to their parents. 2. choosing good teachers for your child: means taking your child to study with monks or masters of secular subjects. Parents can also help their children by finding a good school for their children and special tuition. Children might also need their parent's help in learning how to split their time between study and play. In study time children should study hard: in freetime, playhard. The problem with childrens' education is that all parents would like their children to be top of the class. They want their children to be accepted into the best school. Whether the child lives up to these expectations does not depend on their parent's wishes however, but on two important factors the child's past merits (gifted and wise from birth) and his environment. The parents have their strongest influence on the second factor. In any case the parents shouldn't expect too much from their child. Don't forget that childhood is short. Children cannot live by education alone; they must have time to play and need to have all sorts of ex- perience of life, society and community in order to fully develop their capabilities. Children should have the chance to develop in all areas. If children do well in their studies they deserve praise from their parents. If children don't meet with much success in their studies, even though they have tried hard, there is no need to punish them or compare them with other children who have got better marks because it will undermine a child's self confidence. No matter what result the child gets, parents should be proud of their children for their diligence at the very least. The parents should notice if their child is gifted in any particular way or has any special interest art, music or sports for example. Parents should support their children in the things that take their interest in order to lead them to success and even if they aren't the best of students they will still be able to find happiness in life. Having provided worldly knowledge for their child, parents must complement it with knowledge of Dhamma. Where worldly knowledge looks after the body, knowledge of Dhamma cares for the mind. Dhamma, the food of the mind, helps to make children resilient towards problems and obstacles, never `chickening-out' or bored by their own tasks. Dhamma brightens childrens' minds giving them faith to develop their own virtue without end. Parents should introduce the Five Precepts to their children from an early age. Children should check for themselves each day whether their Precepts are intact or not, point by point. Apart from keepingthe Precepts parents should encourage their children to study Dhamma literature, be generous, perform chanting and meditate on a regular basis. Every good son should also have the chance to ordain as a novice or a monk at some time during his education in order to have first hand experience of the ideal Buddhist culture. Parents should always take the role of pointing out the applications of Dhamma knowledge in its connection with everyday life. EFTA00286629

B.3.4 Approving an appropriate marriage partner As if giving all manner of basic needs and education is not enough, children even expect parents to give free consultation when in doubt about who to many.When one's children are fully educated and are well established in their careers, if they wish to many, then parents have two important duties firstly to finance their children? marriage and secondly to advise and take the final decision in their children? choice of spouse. Really who your child marries is not the important issue — it is whether they have the sixteen qualities of a "good friend" (see Blessing Two) upon which to build their own family. In fact, if as a parent, you can pursuadc your child not to many, you will be doing them the big- gest favour of all because at best the happiness of married life is only miniscule compared with all the suffering family life brings. One's opportunity to do good deeds is seriously curtailed by one's marriage. The latter role of the parents is seen as an unnecessary intervention by many modern societies but Buddhists still feel it is justified because the choice of a marriage partner is a very serious decision to make and ideally should be at the discretion of someone with a lot of experience of the world. It is not the job of the parents to act as the matchmaker, especially when one's child is still not sufficiently well•educated or with enough work•experience to look after themselves.Young people in love tend to see the world through rose-tinted spectacles. An inappropriate marriage might ruin the rest of a couple's life and this is why parents are called upon by Buddhists to make the final decision as to the marriage partner. The reason is because it is no problem to find a good lover or a good wife, but to find a good mother for one's prospective family is much harder. Having hundreds of children is no problem. Even chickens can do it — but what to do to be a good parent — because a parent must give knowledge, thoughts and morality. That a son or daughter leaves the final decision up to their parents is one way of repaying their debt of gratitude to them. In any case however parents should be lenient in their discretion, using as a rule of thumb "the partner who we don't like but our child loves is better than the partner we love but our child doesn't like". The only circumstances which may cause friction between the two generations is when one's son or daughter falls in love with someone criminal or othenvise damaging to their future. B.3.5 Passing on your legacy to your child In non-Buddhist countries, where social values dictate that sons and daughters shouldn't expect to look after their parents in their old-age, the expectation also arises that they shouldn't come asking for money either. However, in Buddhist culture there are reciprocal duties between parent and child. That the child does not become independent of their parents when adult, looking after their parents when those parents are old) also gives some meaning to the parental duty of passing on their legacy to their children before they die. However, the child's worthiness to receive the legacy, certainly depends on their ability to have nothing to do with any of the Six Roads to Ruin [abhAyamukha]. B.4 Summary: The Art of Bringing up Children Bringing up children can be divided up into three periods: firstly, to conceive a good child in the first place by living our own life in a virtuous way. Sec- ondly, to look after the embryo while it is in the womb, making sure it receives no physical or spiritual trauma. Thirdly, after birth to take care of the child's upbringing: not letting him do evil and encouraging him to do good by praise and remonstration, selecting good friends & books and setting a good example; giving him a decent education; helping choose a partner if he wants to many and, lastly; passing on your inheritance to him at the appropriate time. Finally... I. love the child but do not spoil him otherwise he may get into a bad habits; 2. don't love the child so much you don't dare to punish him; 3. don't overlook your duty of being a teacher to your child; EFTA00286630

4. be lenient and not overfussy; 5. give the child enough time, no matter how busy you are, you must try to find time for him or you will regret it later; 6. scold immediately when seeing the child doing something wrong however, be reasonable and do not lose your temper. Praise him when he does something good to encourage him to keep on doing good things; 7. train the child to work from an early age don't let him sit idle. Don't help him with what a child of his age should be able to do. Teach him to depend on himself as much as possible; 8. giving food, clothing, shelter and medicine is not enough — parents must give their child Dhamma too... C. ILLUSTRATIVE TALES Cl Ex. Buddha passes on legacy to son The person with the best human relations in the world must have been the Buddha. Ile taught his father King Suddhodana until he could become an arahant. He taught his wife YasodharA until she could become an arahant also. His son RAhula also became an arahant. RAhula asked to inherit the treasures of his father. Instead of giving him the throne he gave him the qualities of one free from defilement by having his child ordain from the age of seven. All of the rest of his family and friends became arahants. His teachers died before he was able to teach them, but the group of five ascetics who had helped him in the past, all became arahants. Thus we must take a look at how he brought up his own children as well. What had the Buddha used to bring up his son to be so brilliant? He had given him the seven noble treasures [ariyadhana or bahukAradhamma] (D.iii. 163, D.iii.267, A.iv.5): I. Faith [saddha] Believing in the things that are worthy of belief. 2. Self-Discipline [sEla] 3. Shame of Evil [hiri] 4. Fear of the consequences of Evil [ottappa] 5. Knowledge [bahusacca] 6. Self-Sacrifice [cAga] 7. Wisdom [pafifiA] C.2 Et TilamuEEhi JAtaka(J.252): Necessity of punishment Brahmadatta. son of the king of Bemires, was sent to Takkasila to study. One day, when going to bathe with his teacher, he ate some white seeds which an old woman had spread in the sun to dry. He did this on three different days. On the third day, the woman reported him to the teacher and he was beaten. When Brahntadatta ascended the throne, he sent for his teacher, wishing to avenge this insult by killing him.The teacher did not come until the king had grown older, but when he did arrive, the sight of him so kindled the king's hatred, that he ordered him to be put to death. The teacher however, told him that if he had not been corrected in his youth, today he would be a highway robber. Convinced that the teacher's action had been due to a desire for his welfare, Brahmadatta showed his forgiveness and showed him all honour. The JAtaka was told in reference to a monk who showed resentment when advised. J.ii.277ff. C3 Et AnAthapiAtika bribes son to learn Dhamma AnAthapiAlika also had a son who was a troublemaker. He bribed his son to go to the temple. The son went to the temple and curled up and went to sleep there. He didn't hear any teaching. As soon as he woke up he went home again to claim his prize. He got his prize and a new bribe — this time more — to go to the temple, listen to a sermon and remember one teaching well enough to relate to his father when he got home. If he could remember more than one teaching he would get more money. His father paid up each time and before long the son was going to the temple regularly. At first the son was only interested in the money. Later, the teachings started to be absorbed into his heart. One day the Buddha saw that the son was becoming more ready to understand the Dhamma and so that day He taught on a very difficult subject. The son tried his hardest to understand. Because the son's mind was concentrated on only one thing then he could become a stream-enterer. That day when he went home and his father offered him money he wouldn't take it saying that he already had some- EFTA00286631

thing more precious within himself. DhA.iii. I 89ff. C4 Ex. Godha JAtaka (J.I41): Perils of not selecting a child's friends At that time the baby iguanas and the baby chameleons were the same size. The father iguana warned his son not to play with the chameleons saying that they were of a different grade. The baby iguana answered back saying,"Oh bad! Don't be such a snob. After all we're all reptiles together!" The father advised,"it's not just that we are reptiles, but we have a different physique and different habits. If you keep on associating with them, in the end, danger will come to our door." However, with the wisdom of a father, he knew that his stubborn son would not listen and the result would bring disaster not only to himself but to the rest of the family of iguanas too. Therefore the father set to work digging an escape route at the back of their burrow. Before long, it was just as the father Iguana predicted — the baby iguana grew fast and strong. The chameleons grew only a little at a time. The baby chameleons were weighing a few hundred grammes but the baby iguana was several kilogrammes in weight. Now when they engaged in play-fighting as they used to do, the chameleon was beginning to get seriously hurt. The iguana didn't realize his own strength. This time the chameleon had no mercy left for his old friend and it called to some hunters who were passing by and pointed to the iguanas' burrow saying that they could catch something to eat there. The hunters pushed dry grass into all the openings of the burrow and set fire to it sending smoke deep inside the burrow. The baby iguana came running out of the burrow and was killed by the hunters. Many other iguanas in the family suffered the same fate. Only the father, smelling the smoke, immediately realized that his prediction had come true and made his escape by the escape burrow that he had dug for himself. (At that time the father iguana was the Buddha himself, the baby chameleon was Devadatta and the baby iguana was a bhikkhu who had associated with Devadatta and had caused a schism of the Salgha). J.i.487ff. EFTA00286632

Blessing Thirteen: Cherishing our husband or wife A. INTRODUCTION A.1 Aim in Life: Marriage versus celibacy In some cultures, such as those of Indonesia, there are only two logical answers to the question, "Are you married?" — "Yes" or "Not yet"! Western culture might not see marriage as quite so much of an obligation, but it should be declared from the outset with, that just because the Buddha says "Cher- ishing One's Spouse" is a blessing, does not mean there are not superior ways to become blessed! Rather than advocating marriage, what the Buddha meant in teaching this blessing is to remind us to avoid the dire consequences of having a spouse and not cherishing them. Marriage can be a minefield — thus, if you don't have a spouse and don't plan on procuring one, you can skip this Blessing with a sigh of relief. For westerners, marriage has traditionally been portrayed as the high-point of happiness in life. The fathers of western attitudes — the Ancient Greek philosophers — have seeded the delusion of idyllic matrimony with the sentimental idea about a man and women mutually searching for the "other half' who will make them complete (— oblivious to the fact that you could say the same about rabbits, ducks, crows or any other sort of animal fulfilling its urge to mate). Consequently, celibacy does not feature visibly as a demographic option in the west. Buddhism, by contrast, bases its practices on the conviction that every person can be complete in them- selves if they train themselves earnestly. As mentioned in Blessing Six, Buddhism idealizes the "exclusively spiritual" aim in life and thus the Buddha advocated a life of celibacy because life as a couple always leads to compromises in the intensity to which one can cultivate ultimate peace and purity of mind. In many non-western cultures around the world, celibacy is an option chosen more and more by professionals, especially women, who want to devote their time and efforts to their life's work — they realize that otherwise, because of the expectations of society, marrying would involve a conscious decision to drop their career. It is also tra- ditional in many Asian cultures for couples to become celibate in their married relationship after their own children have grown up and left home. Those with the inner strength to renounce the married life can thereby enter the "fast-lane" of spiritual development — however, in practicality, renunciation of the married life is difficult, because it requires the ability to see through the illusory nature of the self and of the sense-pleasures. Most people realize the truth only when they are already married and are find themselves saddled for the rest of their lives with the more detestable side of their partner. Buddhism accepts the reality that renunciation is not for everyone, and thus does not decry marriage. Even if the idea of renunciation appeals to you, once EFTA00286633

married you cannot just shrug off the duties you have taken on yourself — you need to take proper responsibility for creating happiness in your marriage — to make a success of the path of life you have chosen for yourself. Although the married life doesn't correspond to the highest of aims in life, nonetheless, if one can cultivate contentment with one's spouse and thereby avoid promiscuity— it can give considerable leverage in one's self-development. Creating success in marriage is a major way of cultivating goodness of character. It is to such readers that this Blessing is directed. Wrongly approached marriage can be a nightmare turning the closest of lovers into the worst of enemies. By contrast a properly fulfilled marriage will be long-lasting, avoiding the bitterness of divorce and creating blessings both for that couple and for society as a whole. However, be warned! Most of the content of the Buddhist Scriptures deals with monastic issues and thus tend to idealize those who see through the folly of their marriage, subsequently renouncing the world or those who marry only reluctantly out of respect for their parents' wishes, renouncing the world after the passing of their parents. A.2 Long-term Relationships: Marriage versus "living together" Buddhism advocates celibacy, it tolerates marriage, but prohibits promiscuity under its definition of "adultery". Although Buddhism's definition of marriage is not black and white (see §C. below) it is clear that Buddhism does not support sexual relations between partners who take no responsibility for one another or the possible consequences of their liaisons. Let us examine the worst scenario for some of the material and abstract issues touched upon as the consequence of sexual relationships: I. sexually transmitted disease (possibly fatal) 2. pregnancy (possibility of handicapped child or subsequent miscarriage) 3. emotional trauma and regret 4. damage to reputation 5. general undermining of health 6. erosion of deeper meaning in the relationship by ephemoral pleasures Buddhism prohibits abortion (murder of an unborn child) but does not prohibit contraception. Recourse to contraception might superficially seem to remove responsiblity for "I" and "2" above — but closer examination reveals that contraception does not of- fer 100% protection from either. Who is going to be there for the girl to comfort her if she has a miscarriage? Who is going to pay for the upbringing of a child born out of wedlock? Will he still love her if she is disfigured by infection with HIV? These am consequences which apply irrespective of the cultural traditions of the society you find yourself in.The reader can answer for themselves what sort of relationship a couple needs to have built for themselves to be willing to shoulder all six of these possible risks implicit in their sexual liaison. For a couple to face up mutually to the responsibilities of living together and having sexual intercourse, demands enormous sacrifices on both sides. It is these sacrifices and responsibilities the Buddha teaches about in the Thirteenth Blessing. On a brighter note, living together should not be the "end" of young peoples' idealism— it can and should be the start of something yet more beautiful. At this point, it should be added however, that the western mass media consistently lull the public into a false sense of security concerning the risks of promiscuous sex. A.3 Sexual discrimination in Buddhism? In this day and age, many people are concerned about equal rights for men and women, but find that religions often harbour the worst of sexual discrimination. Before embarking upon the advice to married couples that follows, it is necessary to qualify the advice by saying the temprament of men and women are not the same in the eyes of the Buddha. Masculinity and femininity are distinct qualities equivalent to the elements of earth, water, fire and air that make up our bodies. One is not superior to the other, but harm can come about when one becomes enamoured these features of one's own or another's gender (e.g. SaOyoga Sutta A.iv.57). It is the attraction between the genders that causes harm, not the gender qualities themselves, EFTA00286634

because: "no sight, sound, scent or touch can over come the mind of a man like those of a woman and no sight, sound, scent or touch can overcome the mind of a woman like those of a man" REpAdi Sutta A.i.1 and for as long as a man or a woman is under the control of the attraction they have for someone of the opposite gender, they will fail to make use of their nobler virtues such as wisdom and conscience. They will tend to forget that love has a nobler side which is motherly, brotherly, selfless or universal in place of love which is merely sensual, emotional, sexual or downright selfish. That women are often shown in a bad light in the Buddhist scriptures does not reflect the quality of women per se, but us because women are mostly referred to in stories used to threaten monks on the brink of disrobing (a relatively common reason for the Buddha to give a teaching). Elsewhere the Buddha shows women in a good light and admits that women have an equal chance of becoming enlightened as men. A.4 Disadvantages of not cherishing one's spouse With or without divorce, the consequences of marital neglect are far-reaching. If a husband and wife do not cherish one another according to the advice of the Buddha, the harm that will come to them can be concluded on three levels: I. Losing a sense of responsibility for their own human digniv: If a husband and wife lack self-discipline and don't fulfil the duties towards one another prescribed by the Lord Buddha, the first level of disaster which will happen to them is that they will lose their sense of responsibility for their own human dignity — this loss giving rise (at the minimum) to the following three undesirable symptoms: I. Breaking the Precepts: The husband and wife might be unfaithful to one another leading to family problems, divorce, vengeful aggression and violence; 2. Running out of inspiration to perform virtue: When someone feels disappointed with life, the last thing they want to do is to be a good husband or wife to their partner or a good parent to their children; 3. Displaying violence in front of their children: If a parent has no respect for themselves, they will feel no embarrassment about losing their temper or being aggressive in front of the children. Such aggression, even if it is only verbal, leaves an unerasable traumatic impression on the children's developing mind quenching any possible warmth they might feel for that parent in the future; 2. Losing a sense of responsibility for the human dignity of others: If a husband and wife lack self-discipline and don't fulfil the duties towards one another prescribed by the Lord Buddha, the second level of disaster which will happen to them is that they will lose their sense of responsibility for the human dignity of others — this loss giving rise (at the minimum) to the following three undesirable symptoms: I. Pessimistic world-view: If a husband and wife habitually loses their temper with colleagues or friends outside the home, it will eventually retard career progress and promotion prospects; 2. Biased personality: The insecurity of family life will lead them to take refuge within a clique of sympathizers, thereby losing the ability to associate sincerely with a wider society; 3. Accumulation of anger and vengefulness: The husband or wife will start to accumulate negative emotions because they feel that everybody is against them — eventually they become preoccupied with looking for ways to "get their own back on these "enemies". 3. Losing a sense of responsibility for economic fairness in society at large: If a husband and wife lack self-discipline and don't fulfil the EFTA00286635

duties towards one another prescribed by the Lord Buddha, the third level of disaster which will happen to them is that they will lose their sense of responsibility for economic fairness in society at large — this loss giving rise (at the minimum) to the following three undesirable symptoms: 1. Recourse to "Roads to Ruin": If husbands or wives lose their sense of responsibility for economic fairness, eventually they will turn to "Roads of Ruin" such as alcohol for solace, in an attempt to "blot out" their suffering. 2. Economic hardship for the family: When the finances of the family are misdirected, the ones who suffer the most will be the children who experience neglect in their material and educational needs — exacerbating problems of juvenile delinquency; 3. Lack of harmony in earning livelihood: when the relationship between husband and wife is plagued by mistrust and suspicion — if the couple eventually has to break-up, the certain victims will be the children in the family. The problems of the western quarter can be sum- marized down to two main points: L Broken families: The manifest problem of bro- ken families in our society exacerbates the already grave problems faced by young people as well as affecting a country's economic stability; 2. Misunderstanding of marriage: The covert social problem of misunderstanding of marriage stems from the fact that young people are getting married for the wrong reasons. Without any comprehension of how to lead a household, a majority of couples these days seem to be marrying merely to fulfil their sexual fantasies. However, once married, when the reality of the situation sinks in, they find themselves ill-equipped to make a success of the family life. It is ironic that "sex education" has become a compulsory school subject at a time when society is plumbing the depths of marital problems and promiscuity. In the olden days "sex education" was not taught, but somehow the "man-in-the-street" seemed to make less of a mess of his marital life! Maybe what they should be teaching in schools instead of "sex education" is "how to prepare yourself to be a good husband/wife" or "how to prepare yourself to be a good parent" ? B. HUSBANDS AND WIVES B.l Seven Types of Spouse In a teaching to SujAtA, the daughter-in-law of AnAthapiAlika who was causing considerable friction in her own marriage as a result of ill-chosen words, the Buddha enumerated seven different sorts of spouse — some desirable, some undesirable (A.iv. 9Iff., J.269). We can use these categories as a mirror on our own situation — to throw light on possible room for improvement in our current or future relationships. The seven categories of spouse are as follows: I. A spouse like an enemy [vadhaka samAbhariyA]: such a spouse is partial to all sorts of violence. Always looking for the opportunity to kill. Sometimes a couple was not wholehearted about marriage or their marriage was arranged. Only after they have been together for a while does the real personality of the partner manifest itself and they will always be beating one another. Such a spouse is cruel to their partner instead of being compassionate, looking down on them, having no gratitude to them, and even going as far as attempting to kill their partner in some cases — a spouse with such characteristics is a spouse like an enemy; 2. A spouse like a robber [corE samAbhariyA]: No matter how much wealth the couple has, if one of the couple has such a character, then it is like having someone in the house who is burning money the whole time until there is nothing left e.g. by gambling or extravagence. The people of old used to say that seven robberies of your house are better than your house burned down (because at least robbers leave the house behind) — and your house burning down seven times is EFTA00286636

better than being married to a gambler (because even though the house burns down, the land is still left). With gamblers, all your property is still not enough — they will even run up debts for you to service. Such a spouse is full of greed and tries deviously to extract as much of their partner's money as possible for their self-interest, without thinking how hard they have had to work to earn it — a spouse with such characteristics is a spouse like a rabbet; 3. A spouse like a boss [ayyA samAbhariyA]: Where the categories of spouse above threatened your life or your possessions, the boss spouse will threaten your honour — the sort who pulls your ears or treats you like a child in front of your friends. They may be lazy — constantly awaiting the chance to sit down or lie down and rest instead of helping with their various duties, lacking helpfulness, and using threats and insults to goad their partner into doing their work in their place, but never accepting similar treatment from their partner — a spouse with such characteristics is a spouse like a boss; 4. A spouse like a mother [mAtA samAbhariyA]: A mother has unlimited love for her children, forgiving all of their mistakes. Such a spouse will forgive their partner for anything they do wrong. You will see the special features of such a spouse when their partner is ill or handicapped and they will look after their partner with the same care as they would look after one of their own children (without thinking of looking for a new partner). This is also true of a spouse whose partner dies when their children are still young, who carries on bringing up their children single-handed without thinking of taking a new partner. Such spouses tend to be full of compassion, loving their partner, helping and being a credit to their partner, looking after their partner's health when they are ill, like a mother would look after her own children — a spouse with such characteristics is a spouse like a mother. 5. A spouse like a little sister [bhaginE samAbhariyA]: Such a spouse is almost the same as the motherly spouse, but a little more playful, lonely, moody and emotional — but at the same time truthful, honest and faithful. They tend to be ashamed of evil and fear the consequences of evil, respecting and looking up to their partner as if they were an older brother or sister — a spouse with such characteristics is a spouse like a little sister. 6. A spouse like a friend [sahAya samAbhariyA]: Such a spouse is one of similar background, tastes, education as their partner — maybe they have known their partner since childhood. Such a couple tend not to have much sense of respect towards one another. Their level of morality will be similar and they can live quite happily together. Such a spouse will tend to be generous and sincere — empathizing with their partner in all they do throughout their life like a friend who goes together through thick and thin — a spouse with such characteristics is a spouse like a friend. 7. A spouse like a slave [dAst. samAbhariyA]: Usually the intelligence of such a spouse is less than that of their partner. They will be honest, they may want to serve their partner to the utmost but they may make mistakes. Such a spouse tends to allow themself to be abused, slapped or beaten by their partner without becoming angry or vengeful and without blaming their partner — being contented to be completely dominated by them — a spouse with such characteristics is a spouse like a slave. Living together like these first three sorts couple is like being in hell from the time you are still alive. When such spouses die, then it will only be a continuation of the retribution from all the terrible things the husband and wife have done to one another. They will pass away into hell at the end of their lives as a result of the bad karma they have accumulated for themselves. The remaining four types of spouse will pass away into heaven at the end of their lives as a result of the good karma they have accumulated for themselves. They all represent marriages which have the chance of working out. Both husband and wife have a baseline of morality and are flexible. EFTA00286637

The marriages with spouses from categories "4" to "7" are in decreasing order of stability. Thus if you are already married then ask yourself which category you have worked yourself into — as "4" is the most stable of all. C. DUTIES OF HUSBANDS AND WIVES Cl Getting Married CM Choosing a compatible husband or wife In order for a couple to stay together, it is necessary that they are compatible in terms fo the level of virtues they possess — particularly the following four "virtues of compatability" [samajEvi-dhamma]: 1. faith [sama-saddha]: husband and wife should have the same level of spiritual faith and the same level of "aim in life" 2. self-discipline [sama-sEla]: husband and wife should have the same standards of Precepts, manners and etiquette as one another; 3. self-sacrifice [sama-cAga]: husband and wife should have the same level of self-sacrifice in selflessly devoting themselves to generous deeds or helping others; 4. wisdom [sama-pafiliA]: husband and wife should have the same level of wisdom, creativity, empathy and common-sense — being on the same communicative "wavelength" — neither suffering overly from stubborness. In addition, concerning compatability, the Buddha warned of the perils of an old man bringing home a young girl as a wife: (When) an old man takes as a wife a vigourous young girl and cannot sleep, because of his possessiveness for her, this leads to his downfall. ParAbhava Sutta, SN.20 v.109-10 C.1.2 Marrying your spouse In the time of the Buddha, there was no such thing as a legal registration of marriages. A man and a woman mutually decided to accept each other as husband and wife and thereafter they lived together. Their marriage was carried out in the presence of the lay-community rather than in the presence of the spiritual community. In the present day, however, legal registration of a marriage is required. Details differ from country to country and Buddhism supports whatever complies with the Law. However, there remains no specific Buddhist ritual or procedure to conduct a marriage. Buddhism recognizes the traditions and cultures practised by people in different countries — hence Buddhist wedding rituals differ from one country to another. In general, there will be a religious service for blessing and to give advice to the new couple, performed either in the home or in the temple. Some hesitate over becoming "officially" married over concerns such as whether their marriage vows will substitute for affection as the bonds to hold the couple together! However, this misses the point of legalizing a marriage which is publically to recognize one's spouse. How do you think a wife would feel if her husband were too embarrassed to admit he had married her? — or how would the husband feel if his wife refused to wear a wedding ring? Marrying is about showing each other due respect — and this is the foundation of the trust which unifies the couple. C2 Maintaining a married relationship C.2.1 The challenge of married life Life in a long-term relationship is infinitely more demanding on one's store of virtues than that of dating and first love. How can a couple preserve the joy of their initial encounters while developing the love and understanding to ensure a happy and stable marriage? How can partners respect their own dignity and that of their "better half' instead of running off to get a divorce or abortion after their first quarrel or dispute? C2.2 Principles In a recent piece of research on the emotions, it was discovered that immediately conflicts within a marriage lead to "stone-walling" (i.e. the husband and wife are no longer on speaking terms), the further life expectancy of the marriage will not exceed three years (John Gottman, What Predicts Divorce). Conflicts can not be avoided in a marriage — the secret of happy marriage relies on keeping open channels of communication to deal with them. EFTA00286638

A surprise for many modem-day readers is that the Buddha never recommended "making yourself more attractive" or "being sexy" as a way to maintain a marriage. He addressed instead the gravest enemies of marriage: "distrust" and "suspicion". Maintaining good channels of communication according to the principle recommended by the Lord Buddha is to maintain a healthy "emotional bank account" [saigahavatthu] with one's marriage partner. There are four ways of maintaining a healthy emotional bank account with your partner as follows: L Giving resources [dAna]: If two people are going to live together they must be able to sham what they have with their partner. Any place that lacks giving will be parched like an emotional desert. Once married, all the property once individually owned should be shared. To "keep back" something as an individual asset will only create suspicion — and suspicion kills marriages. Thus it is important to keep open a channel of communication in the marriage whereby one partner can consult the other if they are suffering or are having problems with material resources. 2. Endearing speech [piyavAcA]: A husband and wife should take care always to address each other with polite speech, even in the case they need to criticize each other. Sometimes if things become too informal, careless words may touch on the "views" of the other partner and disturb the peacefulness of the family. After marriage, one should use the same standard of polite of speech used before marriage! 3. Helpfulness [atthacariyA]: A husband and wife need to lend each other a helping hand. Also if one of the partners learns something new concerning spiritual knowledge, they should share it with their spouse. When a conflict arises in the marriage, there is a huge temptation to put all the blame on the other partner instead of taking collective responsibility — but if both are well-versed in spiritual teachings, the couple will tend to deal with the problem directly instead of merely looking for someone to blame. 4. Consistency [samAnatatta]: Both husband and wife have implicit duties in the marriage (see details below) and to the degree they live up to these duties they will avoid the suspicions of their partner. If a husband has decided that his wife should take responsibility for the running of the house, he should not subsequently come interfering in the household affairs. Sometimes "appropriateness" is not immediately evident for every situation — sometimes it is hard to sense what your partner expects of you — but if both partners meditate on a daily basis, they will tune in more easily to consistently harmonious behaviours. C.2.3 Five duties of a husband to his wife Based on these four principles, in the SilgalovAda Sutta the Buddha advised of five duties a husband should fulfil towards his wife and five duties a wife should fulfil towards her husband. The duties of a husband are as follows: I. He must praise his wife: He should not keep a wife in secret. Once a man is married he should show off his wife in public, not keep his wife in secret. He should have a proper, lawful registration of his marriage. He should be careful to treat his wife with respect, not criticising her personally in front of inferiors. Z He must never look down on his wife: Even though a couple is married doesn't mean that a husband will have an attitude of respect to his wife. Sometimes he may look down on her or even treat her like a slave or a pet animal. That a husband restrains himself from looking down on his wife in any way, shows his responsibility for the human dignity of others. 3. He must never be unfaithful: Because a Buddhist husband is a man of virtue it goes without saying that he refrains from the Four Defilements of Action [kammakilesa]: killing, stealing, adultery and telling lies. He would thus never be unfaithful to his wife, because doing so would destroy the human dignity of himself and his EFTA00286639

wife. The feelings of a person who is found guilty be especially careful what she says to them be-of sexual misconduct are described in the Sutta cause a few ill chosen words can have serious Nipata: consequences. Whatever fame and reputation he had before, of course vanishes ...in the grip of his fantasies, he broods like a beggar. Hearing the outrage of others, he gets depressed ... hearing the spread of gossip, he then hides in his own embarrassment. He cannot accept the criticism of others on this count, and may lie to those who try to counsel him ... Tissametteyya Sutta, SN.160 v.817-20 4. He should give his wife the responsibility for looking after the house: To demonstrate his sincerely and trust for his wife, a husband must give his wife the final word in the organization of the household and the family without interfering. If his wife is a "working mother" it doesn't make her any less responsible for the affairs of the home and the family, but husband and wife will need to come to an agreement, according to the principles of the "emotional bank account", whereby she can manage to keep on top of her domestic responsibilities without being overloaded. 5. He should bring his wife gifts of clothing or jewellry: Such gifts express the love of a husband for his wife and his appreciation of her virtues. Such generosity can mend many marriages. It breathes a new air of life into a relationship. A husband should take his wife shopping for things she wants to buy. He should encourage her to do the things she wants to do sometimes to allow her to get out of the house occasionally. C.2.4 Five duties of a wife to her husband The duties of a wife to her husband are as follows: 1. She see to the proper care of the household The wife should see to it that the house become a heavenly mansion — the house should be peaceful, the food nourishing and appropriate in taste to the age and the health of the family members. 2. She must take proper care of the `in-laws. The wife must look after her `in-laws' especially well (within the limits of her convenience). She must 3. She must never be unfaithful: Because a Buddhist wife is a woman of virtue it goes without saying that she refrains from the Four Defilements of Action [kammakilesa]: killing, stealing, adultery and telling lies. She would thus never be unfaithful to her husband, because doing so would destroy the human dignity of herself and her husband. 4. She must take good care of the shared wealth: A wife should look after the shared wealth of the household responsibly — being neither extravagent nor stingy. This implies that the husband goes out to work but entrusts his wife with the money for the administration of the family finances. 5. She must be conscientious in her responsibilities: Having been entrusted with the responsibility of looking after the household and the family she should see to it that these duties are properly fulfilled — rather than lazing around at home or doing other work to the neglect of the household. C.2.5 Reciprocal relationship between husband and wife From the SilgalovAda Sutta we learn that a husband has duties towards his wife and a wife has duties towards her husband. In the ideal world, both the husband and wife will fulfil their side of the bargain and in doing so, no danger will grow up in the relationship or for society at large — there will be happiness and prosperity both for husband, wife and society at large. If the husband fulfils his duties according to Blessing Thirteen but the wife doesn't, it can be said that the wife has done nothing to deserve such a good husband. In addition, certain harm will come to the family. If the wife fulfils her duties according to Blessing Thirteen but the husband doesn't, it can be said that the husband has done nothing to deserve such a good wife. In addition, certain harm will come to the family. EFTA00286640

If the neither the husband nor the wife fulfil their duties according to Blessing Thirteen, certain harm will come not only to the family but to society at large too. C2.6 Ten further principles of happily married life Finally for the married couple we are fortunate to have passed down to us in the Buddhist tradition the ten-fold advice given to VisAkhA by her father Dhanaficaya on the day of her wedding (DhA.i.384ff.): Don't let the fire inside go outside: don't go spreading the secret problems from inside the house for people outside to know about; 2 Don't let the fire outside come inside: don't bring situation. gossip of problems from elsewhere into the house, especially gossip that is of no benefit to know; 10. Be respectful to the angels: to congratulate one's 3 Give to those who give to us: help those who hay Susband or inlaws when they do something good or have helped us in the past especially the parents of both the experienced good luck. Our words of encouragement husband and the wife. Let them borrow things. If you lend should lead them to ever better good deeds. things to people and they return them punctually, you should lend things to them a second time; 4 Don't give to those who give nothing to us: C.2.7 Sharing spiritual practice others — for example it would be insulting to sit on a higher level than one's in-laws. 8. Find an amenable place to sleep: You should make sure that the sleeping place of everyone in the family is restful. Be prepared to get up before anyone else in the family and go to sleep when everyone else has already gone to bed. 9. Keep the fire going: that is to take special care of one's in-laws and husband when they are "on fire" (i.e. in a bad temper) — even if they should speak in an unpleasant way to us, it is necessary to hold ow silence instead of answering back — to say the right thing at the wrong time will only make the situation worse. Sometimes the wife must wait until things have "quietened down" before explaining the real reason for Don't lend things to people who never return them or return them late or to those who in the past have refused to help us even though it is withing their capability to do so; 5. Whether they give or not, be generous anyway: Whether they have helped us before or not, if they are our relatives and they have fallen on hard times, you should help them anyway. It doesn't matter if they return money given or not because their inability to return it is through circumstances beyond their control; 6. Make sure that the food is amenable: Make sure the meals served to your family are nutritious — and serve your in-laws with good food too. You may have to eat after your children have finished their meal — but if all the family are well provided for in terms of food, you too will have no problems when it comes to eating; 7. Find an amenable place to sit: This means the wife must know relative level of respect due to You also need to be able to support your spouse spiritually. Any incompatabilities on a spiritual level discovered after marriage can by nurturing a mutual interest in spiritual self-development: I. Persuade them to be generous, keep the Precepts, listen to sermons and meditate. Some are scared to encourage their spouse to have too much involvement with spirituality in case they turn professional and leave them to bring up the family alone. Some men say, "I want a wife in the home not a nun." However, if one's wife stays at home and also keeps the Precepts then we should be thankful (especially for the third precept). In the same way, wives can forbid their husbands from going to the temple more easily than they can prohibit them from unfaithfulness. At least if they go to the temple regularly they will be more motivated to be faithful to their wife. 2. Teach your spouse how to do chanting so that they have a refuge for the mind. If people have fear and shame of evil then they have virtually no vulnerability to adultery. Chanting and re- EFTA00286641

spect for the Triple Gem is the basis of fear and shame of evil. C.3 Analyzing marriage breakdown In the olden days, if a piece of a equipment or a pair of shoes were worn or broken, the owner would always take care to have it mended as new. No matter how much effort it took to have it mended, the owner would be prepared to make the sacrifices — because it would be unthinkably extravagent to buy another piece of the same sort of equipment or a new pair of shoes for as long as there were even a remote possibility of mending the old. Our modem society however, has turned into a 'throwaway' society. We replace things merely because they are worn, or obselete or unfashionable — and it is even a pleasure when something breaks because at last you have "a legitimate excuse" to buy a new one. Such attitudes towards possessions at the worst are wasteful, but when they are applied not to objects, but to friendships and marriages, they tend to lower one's threshold of patience and loyalty. Divorce is becoming so common in our society that in some countries, single-parent families are as common as those with both parents! How can we analyse a marriage that is breaking up in order to know whether a divorce is for the better or not? Basically there are only two scenarios — being bored of one's partner and being bored of marriage. In the first scenario one or both of the married partners feels that their marriage is not working and that they would be happier if they went to live with a certain other person. They want to "turn-in" their spouse in exchange for a new one! Such a divorce is a bad idea because what they fail to realize is that the faults they are trying to escape by divorce are not their ex-partner's, but their own! If they do divorce, they will take these faults uncorrected to their next marriage and history will repeat itself. Thus rather than asking for a divorce, the person should get down to improving their own character in earnest (starting with forgiveness and humility) thereby repairing the relationship.This scenario applies in 99% of cases. Be warned ! — you have no idea before going through with a divorce how destructive it will be for yourself, your children, your reputation, your spiritual development and for eve- ryone else you and your spouse know. In the second scenario, if after all efforts to ameliorate your marriage you realize that the problem is not with your spouse, but with marriage in general, this may be a valid reason for a divorce. In such a case, you see through the folly of being involved in a relationship at all. If the reason you want a divorce, is in order to upgrade the intensity of your spiritual vocation by leading a life of celibacy, with the genuine intention never again to enter into a new relationship,this is a valid reason to obtain a divorce. One should however, minimize the negative effects for any children you may have, by waiting first until they are old enough to be independent of you. D. ILLUSTRATIVE EXAMPLES D. I Metaphor: Tongue & Teeth in close proximity, When chewing one's food, if one's teeth and tongue fail to co-operate, biting one's tongue can be painful enough to bring tears to the eyes. In the same way, if a husband and wife fail to be helpful and understanding to one another, apart from making no progress in their married life, tears can be expected too in the long-term. D.2 Er. Love beyond the grave In the Tang Dynasty an emperor who liked to perform a lot of merits. He had an empress who was not interested in any form of good deeds.Even when their country was invaded, the empress would not make any merit to help the situation. When her husband sent her to make a merit she only pretended to go. When she came back she lied saying that she had already made the merit he sent her to do. The empress died in advance of the emperor. One day when the emperor was sleeping he drempt he saw the empress as a ghost crying and calling for help. In the morning the king thus called an assembly. He asked the monks what could be done. The monks told him that he needed to make a merit and transfer the merit to the late empress. If the ghost was able to rejoice in the merit then she would escape from her ghostly rebirth for something better. The emperor thus organized a merit-making fit for EFTA00286642

an emperor. He donated all the gold in his treasury, all the servants, all the carriages, chariots and horses. He transferred merit for the next seven days. He slept again and drempt that he saw the empress now free from distress, thanking him. The tale of the emperor was therefore told by many generations of Chinese until more recently the whole subject of transferring merit has been misunderstood. Because the normal people don't have the wealth of an emperor to make merit, they burn paper money, paper Mercedes, paper servants etc. to burn for their deceased relatives. It is tempting to think that nowadays deceased Chinese relatives get only ashes! D.3 Et Reluctant marriage: the nun (Dlaiii.I47ff) There was once a girl who had been going to the temple since the age of seven and had wanted to be a nun right from that time. Her parents didn't let her, saying that she must finish her studies. Thus as a child she did her duty to her best. When she finished her studies she asked her parents' permission to become a nun, but they refused saying that they wanted to see her married. Thus she was married and continued to do the best of her duties as a faithful wife. One day the husband was going to take his wife to a fair and said to her 'go and put on all your best jewellry so that you look the best at the fair'. The wife said, I don't see the point on putting on any more jewellry than this. The husband asked why not because he had already bought so many nice items of jewellry for her to wear. The wife said that really none of us have any beauty. The skin on our body just hides the putrescence inside ourselves'. The husband teased 'with that sort of thinking wouldn't you be better off as a nun?' The wife replied, 'actually it is my dearest wish if you would only give your permission.' The husband allowed her and after becoming a bhikkhuAi within a very short space of time, she could become enlightened. Whatever duty she had had to do in the past she had always done her best, thus when she was a nun, before long she could achieve what she had set out to do. D.4 Et Reluctant marriage: MahAkassapa (Ap.ii.583) Kassapa was the son of a millionnaire. His future wife was also the daughter of a millionnaire. Each of them lived in distant cities. The two families had heard the reputation of the other family's child and before long they sent messangers to arrange the marriage. Neither the bride nor the groom were interested in marriage. When they were both forced to many then they did not rebel. However, because both of them were more interested in the Dhamma, after they were married they always slept in separate rooms. Later when both of their parents had passed away, they persuaded each other to ordain. The husband became a monk. The wife became a nun. They left their house, gave away all their pos- sessions. When they came to a fork in the road, they agreed that if they went together they might cause gossip so they decided to go their separate ways. Before long both of them met with those who could teach them the Dhamma and both could become arahants with ease. D.5 Et Married spite beyond the grave (DhAl.4711) There was once a good husband and wife. The wife was barren and felt sorry for the childless husband so she found a mistress for him. Both the wife and the mistress were good friends but all of us still have defilements and cannot be trusted. When the mistress got pregnant, the husband was so pleased that he lavished more affection on his mistress than on his wife. This made the wife envious because she thought to herself, "even when the child has not yet been born, my husband is already treating me with indifference. If the child is born, the husband will certainly treat me with no more respect than a pig or a chicken around the house." Thus she thought 'time is of the essence' and found some poison that would cause abortion and tricked the mistress into drinking it. The first child was aborted. When she became pregnant a second time, the wife did the same again. By the third pregnancy, the mistress worked out what was happening and refused to take the 'medicine' thus there was a fight between the wife and the mistress. The wife killed the mistress who was almost defenceless because of her pregnancy. When the husband saw what had EFTA00286643

happened he killed his wife. Before the mistress died she was so vengeful that she made the vow that she would kill and cat all the children of that wife in every future lifetime. When the mistress died she was reborn as a cat in the same house. The wife was born as a chicken in the same house. However many eggs the chicken laid, the cat would eat them all. The chicken was thus angry and before it died made the vow to eat all the children of the cat in the next lifetime.The chicken was reborn as a tiger and the cat was reborn as deer. The tiger ate all the baby deer. This carried on the same until the final lifetime when the wife was born as a man-eating ogress. The mistress was born married to the same husband again.The man-eating ogress ate up the first and second children of the couple. When the third child was born, the mother realized in time and quickly took the child to where the Lord Buddha was staying. As soon as the man- eating ogress followed the mother into the temple, its temptation to eat people disappeared. The Buddha summoned both of the two. The Buddha looked at their previous lives and made the pictures of their past visible for others to see as well. Having seen the pictures, both of the women knew the reasons for everything and so were able to forgive one another. The ogress was able to become a stream-enterer. The mistress attained faith in theTriple Gem.The ogress didn't know how to earn her living so the mistress brought her home and looked after her like a daughter. The ogress knew in advance what the seasons of the year would be like — whether there would be drought or flood and the forecast she passed on to her caretakers and they were able to become wealthy. The moral of this story is don't go looking for mistresses to help any situation because we all still have defilements. EFTA00286644

Blessing Fourteen: Not Leaving one's Work Undone A. INTRODUCTION A.1 The "work ethic^ in Buddhism Like many other spiritual traditions, Buddhism is a religion which supports the "work ethic". Buddhism is not a religion to tolerate lazy people. Even if you have already fulfilled all the blessings in this grouping by cherishing your parents, children and spouse, if you neglect to be lively in earning your living, harmony in the family will not come about because of financial difficulties. From a financial point view is necessary to devote oneself to earning one's living in order to support one's children, to have a legacy to pass on to one's children, to support one's spouse and cherish one's parents. In Buddhism it is also seen as dutiful to work hard because out of gratitude, one recognizes that in order to come to working age at all, we are a result of considerable investment of time, money, education, love and patience by parents, teachers and state alike and if we don't put our skills into action, then that investment and good will would go to waste. Thus in Buddhism a lazy person is also seen as an ungrateful person. Supposing you are already someone who has knowledge (Blessing Nine), practical skills (Blessing Ten), it doesn't mean that you will automatically be effective in doing your work. Some people with the best of education and experience, make no impact on their work if they never get round to doing it. Many think that the reason for procrastination is laziness on the part of the person involved. How ever in recent academic studies, it turns out that the reason we don't do things even when we know it is a good idea is often much more varied. • procrastination coming from fear: especially the fear of being judged to lack ability. Such people have an inferiority complex over their ability and would rather be seen to fail in a task because of procrastination (lack of time) that because of lack of ability. Thus the slip-shod work of the final minute rush means that procrastination is an excuse for mediocrity. • procrastination because of perfectionism: some people have been brought up with the fear of doing too well, or appearing too keen, or being a "goody-goody". Consequently they procrastinate, not putting in their best, so that if the results come out well, it doesn't look intentional or magnifies the myth of `latent ability'. • procrastination from the misconception that work expands to fill the time available: Some people are disorganized to the degree that they feel they have no control over the time they spend on any task. Therefore they leave tasks to the last minute in order to `save time'. However the results of the work often leaves a lot to be desired. • procrastination because of resentment of control: (e.g. when a person doesn't like their boss). Here procrastination serves as a way to give power to the underdog, to say "get off my back", as a sort of game where people try to beat the clock, or EFTA00286645

reminding others of things they are starting to take for granted (when the person is not assertive enough to say 'no' directly). • procrastination is sometimes used to control distance in relationships: to make a person more or less reliant on another person or persons. Whatever the reason, the Buddha taught that pro- crastination either in worldly or spiritual work will limit one's ability to earn one's living and the result will be to destroy harmony in one's family life. B. WHAT IS WORK? B./ Definition of work: physical and spiritual When we talk of 'work' in a religious context we mean 'a means of earning our living'. We cannot survive without money. We have to have something to eat — but don't forget that food is of many types . .. It is just like a tree needs food, but the food that nourishes it is sucked up through the roots.The food for a light bulb is electrical current. Because work is simply a means of earning our living we thus divide work into two main components, neither of which we can afford to leave undone: throwing a pot of clay) or driving at the same speed as • food for the body: For our body we need solid f 4 rest of the traffic. Meditation needs you to be patient, e waiting for crops to grow or like a hen hatching an To get the food we need for ow body we must find ourselves . a job or a career. Work (physical) means the means by whir where the mother hen must wait thirty days whether IHb mother hen must wait thirty days regardless. If we can nourish our body and its scope also reaches to suchk . t trigs have a fixed period or cycle there is not point things as maintaining harmony with the other people aroun . rushing them. Also if you rush into something and do it thing in the 'out' tray. Thus if you have lost a particular document people in the office say playfully "If you want to find finished work go to Mr. A but if you want find unfinished work go to Mr. B because it is all on his desk!" The same is true for students always leaving the revision until the exams are close. If you want to look at why work is left unfinished, in almost every case you can generalize down to four basic reasons: I. wrong timing: Doing the work at the wrong time or with the wrong timing. If you do the work at the wrong time such as ploughing a field out of season, weeds will choke the bare soil before you manage to sow your crops (has0y in things that don't require it) or else wait until it's too late before you start doing something (slow in things that should have been finished long ago) e.g. someone who doesn't study when he has the opportunity as a child and has to do his studies when he too old to remember anything. ( 'Make hay while the sun shines' but More haste less speed). Same for people who wait until they are old before becoming interested in training the mind. Work which needs to be done patiently (e.g. us. wrongly as the result you will waste both time, money • food for the mind: food suitable for the mind is and morale because instead of doing it only once (cor- "merit" i.e. the fruits of ow good deeds and spiritual redly) you have to do it three times (do it wrongly, undo development. Working on the mind doesn't just mean &eV nd re-do it) and on every time there is no satisfaction , contented the whole of the time, but also to develop the mi m your achievement. Better to do things cautiously so to become wiser too. you can get it right from the start. With meditation also you cannot rush to bring the mind to a standstill. You cannot achieve overnight success in meditation (except for 0.00001% of people in very exceptional circumstances).You have to be able to tell whether what you are doing is the sort of work where the time spent is fixed or whether it is C. UNFINISHED WORK Cl Why work left unfinished Some people in an office get a reputation for leaving a backlogue of work. Every piece of work which involves them in any way can be easily found because it is always on that person's desk unfinished. They have two baskets on their desk, an 'in' basket and an 'out' basket. The 'in' basket is always stacked up higher than their head, but there is never any EFTA00286646

something that can be hurried. If it is to take a fixed length of time, then you have to put up with waiting. However, if it is something that can be done more quickly then it can be hurried so that you have more time to speak to others. 2. wrong technique: An example of doing things by the wrong technique is trying to work individually when the task requires teamwork or dividing up your time wrongly spending too long doing any one question in an examination paper — the result is that you run out of motivation to do the work at all. 3. never getting started: There are many reasons why people prevaricate instead of starting to do things. One reason is those wait for the auspicious time by studying horoscopes. Meditators however, are those who take their destiny in their own hands and don't wait for astrologers to organize their lives for them. Any time when you get round to doing good deeds, then the simple act of getting down to doing it will be auspicious itself. If you want to know whether it is the auspicious time to do something or not, don't waste money to see a fortune teller but instead use your powers of observation and experience to see whether you are ready and prepared to do the task in hand. If by common sense you have discerned that you are ready to do something, there is a good chance that getting started will yield success. 4. not genuine in one's efforts: Not being genuine in one's efforts means getting one's priorities wrong. Instead of realizing how important your work is, you neglect it in favour of something more trivial. Common distractions that get in the way of our work are as follows: dull the mind. To overcome such a tendency you need to abstain from consuming these substances. • courting lovers: Some do no work because they are more interested in boy/girlfriends and spend all day looking in their diary... • entertainment: some take their leisure time more seriously than their time at work to the neglect of earning their living. • gambling: because they are more interested in gambling — they have no time for working and burn up all their savings. • bad friends: modelling oneself on bad friends who neglect their work will make us more lazy • laziness: when people become lazy they have excuses for everything excuses — where work is concerned if it is not too hot it is too cold, if it is not too early it is too late. • incompatible working hours: This is not the same as being more interested in sleeping but leads to failure in work because they work at a time which doesn't fit in with other people. D. STRATEGIES FOR NON-PROVARICATION D.1 Those who are successful in work Thus if you want to be successful in whatever you do you must: I. Do it at the right time 2. Do it in the appropriate way 3. Get round to doing it 4. Do it enthusiastically and conscientiously The signs of someone who will be successful in their work are as follows: eating. The way to cure such a habit is to go on a meditation retreat where you must eat food all mixed up together or eat only one meal a day. • sleeping. To train yourself to sleep no more than you need to you have to train yourself from an early age. • alcohol: because they am more interested in consuming alcahol or other intoxicants that I. Approaching work in the appropriate way (paEirEpakArt). You must have learned from Mangala 7 and 8 before you can achieve this. When you are new to work you have to learn from your errors. You need to be observant and patient to obtain this characteristic. 2. Loving work and challenges to one's ability [dhuravA]. Not to look down on work of any sort. 3. Keenness and quickness in work and enthu- siastic, lively & active [uEEAtA]. If you do find EFTA00286647

that you are lethargic then maybe you should take up sport. (havalca Sutta S.i.214) 19.2 Recipe for success in worldly & spiritual work Success in one's work will be attained more easily, whether it be worldly or spiritual work, if one is able to put into practice the following four principles called the "Four Foundations of Success" [iddhipada] applicable to all types of work, worldly or spiritual. Practising towards success comes in four stages: I. initial motivation [chanda]: With work you need the willingness to get down and do the work. Without this, you will never get down to doing it. For spiritual practice it is also important to try to find the initial motivation to cultivate yourself. Don't wait for the mood to work or cultivate yourself to accidentally happen — look for ways to create the right mood! It means looking forward to the practice of meditation. Sitting down to meditate like a mercenery or even forcing yourself to do the practice will never give you the results for which you are seeking. 2. initial application [viriya]: The next thing which you require is actually to get down to work in the proper way — starting as you mean to go on. This often means achieving an optimal balance between productivity and enjoyment (mindfulness and comfort for meditation). 3. sustained application [citta]: Starting out well is not enough however, and you have to be able to keep up the good work if you are to succeed. You need to be consistent about your work or spiritual practice meditation setting aside time for both each day — and not giving in to exceptions and excuses. For work you need to keep going until you bring the task to completion, for meditation you need to culti- vate mindfulness until it is something you can maintain twenty-four hours-a-day. 4. retrospective analysis [vEmaOsA]: you need to back over your work and give yourself feedback looking for ever better and more of ficient ways to do the same task in the future. In spiritual practice you need to be observant. You need regularly to examine your own performance remedying your weaknesses as quickly as possible so that they no longer impede your worldly and spiritual progress. If you experience success, you should remember the reasons for your success so that you can apply it on future occasions. D.iii.221, Vbh.216 If you can follow these four simple principles in your professional and spiritual work, success is only just around the corner. E. ILLUSTRATIVE TALES El Metaphor: Those who are patient... Those who work without interest whether it is hot or cold, persevering like the toughest of grass, dedicating their manly strength to their business, will not fall away from happiness. £2 Metaphor: Just as dung accumulates on a pig's tail The nature of dung on the tail of a pig is to accumulate with the passing of the days making it increasingly difficult for the pig to find happiness in its daily life. The work a person leaves unfinished is of the nature to impede their prosperity. A person's value is proportional to the work they complete. The work they leave undone detracts from their value. £3 F.z. CuOakaseEEhE JAtaka (J.4) There was once a millionnaire and his servant who were travelling in a cart in the middle of India. The millionnaire saw a dead mouse at the side of the road and pointed it out to his servant saying 'if someone had proper principles of working as a salesman even with such a dead mouse as this he could set himself up in life.' The servant immediately got down from the cart and allowed the millionnaire to go home alone. He picked up the mouse and because he knew a lot of people in the area, he selected a house where he knew someone with compassion who kept cats was living and took the mouse there. He knew that compassionate peo- ple won't kill mice but at the same time the cat has EFTA00286648

to have something to eat every day. He sold the mouse to the householder for a few cents. He used the few cents to buy some sugar-cane juice from the people crushing the cane. He asked for another bucket of plain water. He took the water and the sugar cane juice to the gate of the town. He waited until the flower-gatherers from the palace came back from where they had been picking flowers outside the city wall. Of course they were tired and thirsty as they came to the gates. He gave them a glass of plain water to drink first of all. After they had slaked their thirst, he gave them a second glass of sugar-cane juice. The palace attendants didn't know how to pay the man so they gave him each a handful of jasmine flowers. The man took the flowers and sold them for a small profit. He had a little more money than before. He bought more sugarcane juice and collected a little more rain water, he sold all of it to the flower gatherers on the second day, and got enough money for a second round of sugar-cane juice — enough for the people collecting firewood. The people with the firewood drank the sugar-cane juice and each left him with a bundle of firewood. He sold the firewood and got even more sugar-cane juice. He kept his eyes and ears open and noticed that there had been a storm in the night. In the royal forest there were many broken branches and tree-trunks on the ground. He took his sugar-cane juice along to the forest. He offered to the forest keeper to be the one to clear up all the broken branches and the forester agreed because he would be able to have an easy day. He therefore offered sugar-cane juice to the children running and playing nearby and the children cut and gathered all the broken branches together into a huge pile. He sold the branches as firewood to a potter and bought a big barrel. Where he had sold sugar-cane juice by the bucket before, now he sold it by the barrel. He bartered sugar-cane juice for flowers, firewood and even grass-fodder. One day a big caravan of traders arrived at the gate with many hungry horses etc. He told the stable boys in the palace not to sell their fodder to anyone and he sold his own fodder at a high price to the traders. It was not enough and they even took the fodder from the palace to sell to them at the same high price so that everyone got a profit. He carried on working like this until before long he was able to put down a deposit on a trading ship. His ship kept trading until he had amassed a fortune of 100,000. In the end he returned to the old millionnaire who had been his master and presented him with the 100,000 saying that all of this wealth had come from the policy of seeing benefit in a dead mouse. The millionnaire was so impressed that he gave the man a fortune of a million and also his daughter's hand in marriage. E.4 Er. Nakkhalta Ataka (149) There was once a bridegroom who was due to be married the next day. He was about to go to the wedding reception when a fortune-teller came and warned him that today was not an auspicious day for a marriage. The man believed the fortune teller and decided not to turn up for his own wedding. The bride waited and waited and then in impatience married someone else. The bride took all the first bridegroom's property in compensation for his having broken the marriage contract and married someone else. EFTA00286649

The Fifth Group of Blessings "Becoming a Pillar of Society" The Fifth Grouping of the Blessings of Life is usually referred to as "Becoming a pillar of society". The Group consists of "Being Gener- ous" (15), "Practising the Dhamma" (16), "Looking after your extended family' (17) and "Working in a blameless way"(18). In the Fourth Grouping, we have learned about harmony in the family life (where applicable) — doing things like recognizing and repaying the debt of gratitude we have to our parents will stimulate our awareness of good deeds and the harmony of the family life will be a foundation and a springboard to the real performance of virtue which we are to meet in this Fifth Grouping. Until now if we have fulfilled all the blessings we have learned from 1-14 we can say that we have done no more than 'break even' in our virtues. We have managed to steer dear of the mine- fields of everyday life that might cripple future efforts to accumulate merit. Thus in this fifth grouping we start to explore the virtues where we do truly start to give something back to society and the world about us. We are sufficiently mature in our cultivation of good deeds to start to produce virtue for ourselves— first in basic ways (in the Fifth Group- ing) but subsequently in more and more advanced ways. The fifteenth blessing of generosity can be regarded the first stepping stone on the path of actively producing virtues. It will start to make us into the sort of person who society can trust and look up to. It will make us a per- son who can be considered a 'pillar of society'. EFTA00286650

Blessing Fifteen: Generosity A. INTRODUCTION A.I Introduction to Blessing Fifteen Buddhism places great importance on generosity because it is seen as the origin of wealth. The Law of Karma states that "we shall reap what we sow" and if we provide for the happiness of others through our generosity, the karmic fruit will be that we will always be provided for in our own happiness and convenience. Thus Buddhism sees generosity less in a material way (benefit for the recipient) than in its spiritual fruits (benefits to the giver). A.1 The Importance of Giving A.ZI Generosity is a bask virtue You may ask yourself why, if generosity is so fundemental, why it is not the first blessing. However, you must not forget that all the previous Blessings are necessary preparation for the actual performance of good deeds and recognizing and setting a foundation for their accrual. From Blessing Fifteen onwards, all the content of the blessings is concerned with real good deeds. There are five good reasons for choosing generosity as a first priority in doing good deeds (Siam Rath Edn. 33/2/428): I. It is the first step on the stairway to heaven: It engenders the compassionate way of thinking characteristic of an angel even from the time one is still living in the human realm; 2. It is like provisions that you can take with you: If you have been generous to others in your past, then in the future you will be on the receiving end of generosity. No matter how far your spiritual journey may take you, with the provisions you have stored up for yourself through our generosity, you will be sure never to fall on hard times. 3. It is the direct path to Nirvana: It clears the way for doing other sorts of virtue with ease. To give an example, when peasants slaughter animals it is not that they don't know the karmic retribution of what they do — it because of force of circumstances of their poverty. If you are poor it is hard to keep the precepts properly. If you are poor, the opportunity to sit and listen to a ser- mon is hard to find. Even the price of the bus to the temple is hard to find. If you are poor, then you have little chance of obtaining a good education. If you are poor, you won't see the point of sitting for meditation. If you are generous then it will stop you from falling into poverty and the other sorts of good deed will come naturally. 4. Generosity, is a splendid means of escaping the cycle of rebirth. Anyone who is going to escape the cycle of rebirth must have faith in the performance of good deeds. As for the good deeds for which it is easiest to see the fruition in the here and now, there is nothing to beat generosity. 5. Generosity purifies the mind: The most direct way we can cure ourselves of stinginess lurking EFTA00286651

in the mind is to be generous. The more you give, the more you rid yourself from stinginess in the mind and the more and more control you gain over your desires. A.2.2 Generosity makes the world go round You can offer money to hire a person but if they don't want to do the job, you can offer the highest salary in vain. Generosity is like the downpayment needed to get a new project rolling. If if wasn't for the generosity of our parents, how could we have survived after the moment of our birth? If it wasn't for the extra hours of work put in by our teachers, would we be so able to make sense of the world around us today? Thus it is true that before all else one must practice generosity. A.2.3 Respect for generosity makes you respectable too! Some people complain that others show them less respect than they deserve. If we are moved by the value of giving, then others will respect us for that (i.e. we have respect for generosity) then when our generosity gives its fruit then we too will be the object of respect. If you find that others never treat you with much respect then the situation is telling you that your attitude to giving is a little reluctant. Thus if you find you are not being treated with enough respect, then don't go blaming others, put the blame on yourself first. Generosity is thus an indispensable prerequisite for being a 'pillar of society'. B. GENEROSITY B.1 Definition of Generosity The Pali word 'dAna' means literally 'to give'. In this Blessing, we take generosity to mean: 'sacrificing your own possessions for the benefit of other people, wholeheartedly, with the intention to honour the virtue of that person, or to assist a person of similar social standing, or to help someone who is worse off than ourselves.' If you are not wholehearted about giving then it cannot be called 'dAna'. The Buddhist usage of the word 'generosity' is therefore broader than the equivalent word 'charity' in Christian culture which isusually restricted to giving to the poor and the sick. In the spiritual sense, 'dAna'sometimes refers to our intention to give, sometimes it refers to the thing we want to give, sometimes it refers to abstention from wrong-doing (e.g. not seeking vengeance from someone who has harmed you). In this particular blessing we will speak of only the first two instances of usage of the word, because we have already mentioned abstention from wrong-doing in Blessing Nine on "self-discipline". B.2 Categories of Generosity (A.L90) There are two main categories of generosity Concrete generosity [amisadAna] 2 Abstract generosity [dhammadAna] Material generosity can be subdivided by the quality of the gift: Giving things of worse quality than you would use yourself [dAnadAsa] 2 Giving things of equal quality that you would use yourself [dAnasahAya] 3 Giving things of better quality than you would use yourself [dAnasAmE] Or by the exclusivity of the gift (M.iii.254-6, A.iii.392) Personal [patipuggalikadAna] 2 Community [sa]ghadAna] Or by the nature of the gift (see BlessingFive §C.2 for further details), generosity can be divided into: giving useful material objects [vatthudAna]; giving worldly knowledge [vidhayadAna]; giving spiritual knowledge [dhammadAna]; forgiving [abhAyadAna]; humility [apacAyana]; service [veyyAvacca]; transfer of merit [pattidAna], and; rejoicing in the merit of others [pattAnumodanA]. B.3 Reasons for Giving Some reasons for giving are less noble than others —therefore it is useful to study the variety available to that we can select the noblest. According to the Buddha's teaching in the PaEhama DAna Sutta [A.iv.236] there are eight different reasons why people give gifts: I. giving because in the hope of getting something in return [Asajja dAnaO deli]; Giving because wants something in return. Sometimes people EFTA00286652

give because they want others to see them doing so, or they want to become famous as the result; 2. giving out offear [bhayA dAnaO deli]; Giving out of fear. Some give gifts to others because they are afraid that if they don't give something the recipient will create problems for them (e.g. protection money). Such giving can even include being scared someone won't love us so we give them things to win their love; 3. giving in order to repay past favours [adAsi me [i dAnaO deli]; Giving in order to repay a debt of gratitude we have to someone else; 4. giving to procure future favours [dAsati me ti dAnaO deli]; Giving with the thought that the recipient will repay our favour in the future — e.g. Mr.A gives Mr.B some sweets so that the next day he can invite himself to eat a meal at Mr.B's house; 5. giving for giving's sake [sAhu dAnaO ti dAnaO deti]; Giving for the joy of it — perhaps because spontaneously inspired by a particular monk or seeing a group of children without transport to go to the temple and gladly paying the cost of hiring a bus for them. 6. giving out of sympathy for the monks [ahaO pacAmi, imc na pacanti, na arahAmi pacanto apacantAnaO adAtunaO ti dAnaO deli]; Knowing that monks cannot cook rice or catch fish to feed themselves out of fear that the monks will starve one gives them food. 7. giving to improve your reputation [imaO me dAnaO datato kalyAAo kittisaddo abbhuggacchatE ti dAnaO deti], not just out of greed for praise, but because indeed generosity is a praiseworthy behaviour, and; 8. giving in order to improve the quality of the mind [cittAlankAra cittaparitkkhAratthaO dAnaO deli]. Two further possible reasons are noted in the DAnavatthu Sutta A.iv.236: I. Giving out of family tradition [dinnapubbaO katapubbaO pitu pitAmahehi na arahAmi porAAaO kulavaOsaO hApetu ti dAnaO deft]: Giving only because your ancestors have always made a tradition of giving and you don't want to be the odd one out. Z Giving because you want to go to be reborn in heaven [imAhaO dAnaO datvA kAyassa bhedA parammaraAA sugatiO saggaO lokaO upapajjissAmE ti dAnaO deli] The first four reasons are no more than ways to keep up good relationships with the people around us. We want others to remember us for ow goodness — it is the only reason for giving. There is no merit in such giving. This is the sort of giving which politicians like to do in order to win votes or of shops wanting to boost their sales by giving away free gifts. The remaining reasons are all types of giving which are done for merit, however people differ as to the extent they see the true nature of merit in what is given. In this blessing we will try to go as deep as we can, i.e. to discover the sort of giving that is going to improve the quality of the mind. C. HOW TO CULTIVATE GENEROSITY Here is some practical advice for cultivating generosity in a way that fulfils all the requisite components. One should practice generosity according to the following steps: Cl Make an intention Purify your intention by recollecting the virtues ofthe Triple Gem and the power of generosity to banish stinginess from the mind — filling your mind with faith and the joy of the act of generosity you plan to do. Once you have made your intention, make sure you fulfil it because according to the VaAijja Sutta (A.ii.81), the Buddha taught that if someone has made a promise to offer a certain amount of requisites to a monk or someone who keeps the Precepts, or to parents who are virtuous, but when it comes to the appointed time: • do not come up with the goods, then in business they will always lose money; • come up with less goods than they said they would then they will always receive less than the anticipated profit; • come up with the goods, no more, no less than they promised, they will always receive the anticipated profit; EFTA00286653

• come up with goods exceeding the promised amount then they will always receive more than the anticipated profit. C2 Seek out an appropriate gift: Seek out or buy an appropriate and wholesome gift by your honest efforts. Some people expect to find joy in giving to something else something they have obtained in a dishonest way — such as picking daffodils in a public park to offer on a Buddhist shrine. However in his teaching on the Ten Ways of Consuming Sense Pleasure [kAmabhogt] (A.v.I76) the Buddha taught that there is no joy to be had in the giving of gifts obtained in dishonest or partially dishonest ways. C2.I The Quality of the Gift The Buddha enumerated three different attitudes to the quality of the gift chosen for an act of generosity: I. Giving things of worse quality than you would use yourself [danadAsa]: This sort of giving which literally means "giving as a slave" happens when one gives a gift of worse quality than one would consider using oneself. An example of this would be selecting the smallest or most unattractive of three mangos to give to someone else. It is termed "giving as a slave" because at the time of giving, one's mind is still the slave of stinginess. Such giving is characterized by acts of generosity to those we consider worse-off than ourselves (c.1 earlier comments 5B. I about the Chris- tian definition of charity). 1. Giving things of equal quality that you would use yourself [clAnasahAya]: This sort of giving which literally means "giving as a friend" happens when one gives a gift of quality equal to that one would consider using oneself. An example of this would be selecting any of three mangos you would be happy to eat yourself to give to someone else. Such giving is characterized by acts of generosity to those we consider equal to ourselves — such as friends. 3. Giving things of better quality than you would use yourself [danasAmE]: This sort of giving which literally means "giving as a boss" happens when one gives a gift of better quality than one would consider using oneself — choosing only the best to give to someone else. It is termed "giving as a boss" because at the time of giving, one's mind has stinginess under control. In general, Buddhists cultivating generosity try to make sure that their giving falls into this last category. When giving rice to the monks on their almsround, they will select the tender rice from the mouth of the rice-pot to give to the monks — before taking their own meal from the remainder of the pot. When offering food to the monks, supporters will offer delicacies they might never consider themselves worthy of eating — and when offering food, they might decorate and garnish the food with special attention. In fact, when we give to others we should always try to give things of a quality we would like to be give ourselves, no matter whether the recipient is of lower, equal or higher social status than ourselves. Such giving is especially characterized by acts of generosity to those we respect or to whom we have a debt of gratitude such as our parents, teachers or teaching monks. C.2.2 The Nature of the Gift Here are some "do's" and "don'ts" to help you with your choice — in general things which am worthy of giving are the four basic requisites: clothing, food, shelter and medicine. You have to be careful, however, because some forms of clothing are not suitable. These four are sometimes subdivided further into ten: I. food (but not aphrodisiacs); 2. drinks (but not alcohol); 3. cloth or clothing (but not immodest clothes); 4. vehicles, shoes or fares for travelling; 5. flowers; 6. candles, incense; 7. rubbing creams; 8. bed clothes & beds; 9. shekel; 10. fuel. As for objects not suitable for giving: I. Alcohol for the purpose of drinking (rather than rubbing alcohol or alcohol for cleaning). EFTA00286654

Alcohol is the component of some medicines. This usage is good — but don't use this as an excuse to give alcohol with a little bit of medicine instead of giving medicine with a little bit of alcohol; 2. To give shows, entertainment; 3. To give a female animal to a male animal or vice-versa; 4. To offer matchmaking services to find a partner for others; 5. To give someone else erotic pictures or even a picture of yourself (so that they think of us); 6. To give weapons (especially when two people are in the middle of a fight); 7. To give poisons or drugs. In addition the gift should be made clean, refined and attractive to receive. At the time of giving you should do your best to relinquish your attraction for the appearance, sound, smell, taste, texture or mood of that object (The meditation master Luang Phaw Wat Paknam suggested to bring you mind to a standstill at the centre of your body as a practical way of achieving this). C3 Make yourself pure before giving your gift Purify yourself before giving the gift by taking the Five or Eight Precepts. Meditate to purify the mind, thinking of the recipient as if they were as pure as an arahant, or as a representative perpetuating the teaching of the Lord Buddha. C4 Make a resolution It is customary to raise the gift one intends to offer to one's forehead while making the resolution. Making a wish or resolution is like setting up a long-term plan for yourself. If a government takes care of a country it must have a long-term plan. Even merchants have plans for what they will be doing in the years to come. In Buddhism we have merit as our budget and we have our resolution or ambition as our long term plan for doing good deeds over the course of the lifetimes to come. If we have made a resolution at the time we make a merit of some sort then when the merit gives its fruit it will give its fruit in the way we have made the wish. However we must also be careful about the thing which we wish for — supposing we make a resolution but our mind is still under the influence of defilements then it might be disastrous because we leave ourselves wide open to the working of evil. If we make a resolution about something skilful, by contrast then the merit will give its full fruit, shortening our path to Nirvana. An example of a skilful way of making a resolution is: "Through the power of this good deed, from this day forth may my mind never fall under the influence of greed or stinginess again and may I never be born in a family with stingy or greedy people ever again and may I never be born in a country where there is a shortage of basic needs for survival, and even when it comes to studying the Dhamma, may I never be stuck with a teacher of the Dhamma who is stingy with his teachings and wants to keep his knowledge to himself. May I never know shortage of anything skilful. May I always be well provided-for .. . and may the power of this generous deed help me to enter upon Nirvana [nibbAna paccayo hotu]." Or more briefly according to the traditional Pali: "SudinnaO vata me dAnaO AsavakkhayA vahaO hotu" (May these alms that I have given on this day be for an end of all defilements.) CS Harbour no regret in mind: Having offered the gift, make sure the gift is gone from your mind too by thinking only of the joy of giving and not allowing any feeling of regret to enter your mind. It is also customary to transfer the merit of one's generosity [pattidAnamaya] by making the intention that the merit of our good deeds might also benefit our deceased relatives wherever they might find themselves reborn — in accordance with the Pali verses: "IdaO flAtEnaO hotu, sukhitA hontu fiAtayo" (May this merit accrue to all my [deceased] relatives. May all my [deceased] relatives be happy). C6 Summary: Four Tures' In conclusion, there are four things that will ensure EFTA00286655

that the giving we do will bring the maximum of merit: L Pure Gift. The thing which we give must be something we have come by in an honest way or bought with money that is honestly earned; 2. Pure Intention. A pure intention for giving means the intention to reduce the stinginess in your mind, or to reduce the number of defilements in the mind or cultivate your Perfection of Generosity or Loving Kindness. The Buddha also taught that if you want to gain the maximum of merit from a gift you must maintain the quality of the mind during three periods of time. Intentions which are not pure are giving with the wish for something in return e.g. giving for one-upmanship, giving to make yourself famous or giving to make someone else love us: 1. before giving fpubbecetanAJ: make sure that you come to the act of giving wholeheartedly 2. during the act of giving NuficanacetanAP give with respect and a mind full of faith and without any trace of irritability 3. after giving raparAparacetanAt make sure that the mind is still joyous not regretting what you have given away. Some people go home and sit thinking, "Maybe I gave too much. Maybe I should ask the monk for some of it back!" 3. Pure Recipient: The more pure the person re- ceiving our gift, the more merit we will accrue. If the recipient is a layperson, they should be a layperson who keeps the Precepts. If they are a monk, they should be a monk who keeps the Vinaya, not just someone who is masquerading as a monk. If the monk is an arahant (i.e. has no further defilements) then he will be a supreme field of merit. 4. Pure Given Even you as the giver must be keeping the Precepts. If you think of yourself as a receptacle for merit in the same way as a bowl might contain water, then you mustn't be like a leaking or dirty container (Precepts incomplete) or else your merit will leak away or be sullied. Nowadays, it is hard for us to earn enough money to both feed ourselves and to offer as donations — therefore when we do come to have the opportunity to give donations, make sure that you possess all four of the factors mentioned above. D. WHO TO GIVE D.I Giving to an individual: The Buddha taught in the DakkhiAAvibhalga Sutta (M.iii.253) that the amount of merit from a gift to an insiiiidggh[ikadAna] is in proportion to the purity of the recipient. If you give food: to a humble animal it will give long-life [Ayu], good complexion [vaAAa], happiness [sukha], strength [bala] and intelligence [paEibhAAa] for no less than 100 lifetimes; 2 to a person who does not keep the Precepts your gift will give the same fruits for 1,000 lifetimes; 3 to a person who keeps the Precepts your gift will give the same fruits for 100,000 lifetimes; 4 to a hermit or ascetic outside the Buddhist monastic community who has attained some degree of mental powers your gift will give the same fruits for 10" lifetimes; 5 to a person who practices with the intention to train himself to become a stream-enterer, the fruit is countless; 6 to a person has actually attained sainthood at the level of stream-entry [sotApana] then the merit is even more; 7 to a person who practices with the intention to train himself to become a once-returner [sakidAgAmi] then the merit is even more; 1 to a person has attained sainthood at the level of once-returner [sakidAgAmi] then the merit is even more; 2 to a person who practices with the intention to train himself to become a non-returner [anAgami] then the merit is even more; 10. to a person has attained sainthood at the level of non-returner [anAgami] then the merit is even more; IL to a person who practices with the intention to train himself to become an arahant then the merit is even more; IZ to a person has attained sainthood at the level EFTA00286656

of arahant then the merit is even more; 13. to a paccekabuddha then the merit is even more; 14 to a fully-enlightened Buddha then the merit is even more; If you favour a particular person when you are making your donation, then you the amount of merit gained as the result of the gift will be reduced. Some people go to a particular temple and single out a particular monk for their attention. It is almost like something personal between the giver and the recipient. The giver feels that there must be something personal between themselves and a monk before they will give that monk any support. They will not help strangers. They might look down on monks of low rank. Their mind is rather narrow. Of course they still receive merit from their good deed, but it is slightly reduced from what it could be — because the merit in all of these categories of recipient cannot beat the merit from offering a gift to the community of monks. D.2 Offering to the monastic community Offering to the monastic community [saighadAna] means giving a gift which is not specific to any par- ticular monk in a monastic community. Such a person does not mind who the monastic community delegates to receive a particular gift from them.Even if the community sent a novice to receive their gift they wouldn't mind. Their mind would be filled with faith before, during and after their making of the gift.The Buddha taught that anyone who is sufficiently broad-minded to support the Salgha in this way will receive countless merit. E. HOW MUCH TO GIVE E./ Duty of a Buddhist to support their religion The Buddha specified the duty of a Buddhist house- holder towards members of the monastic community in the sixth of the "six directions" of the SilgalovAda Sutta, as follows: I. kindly acts towards the monastic community 2. kindly words towards the monastic community 3. kindly thoughts towards the monastic community 4. by keeping an open house to the monastic community 5. supplying the monastic community with their material needs In other words it is the duty of every Buddhist householder to perform acts of generosity towards the Salgha. The Buddha laid down the rule that monks must earn their livelihood by alms alone. Monks are not allowed to earn income by any other means. The Buddha's intention by this rule was that monks be able to devote their time to their real duties of study and meditation in order to be: I. pure in body, speech and mind and to be a worthy field of merit for the householders 2. worthy teachers to the householders Of course the government could organize things so that people could support Buddhism out of their taxes in the same way the State finances the Church in many western countries, but because Buddhism has (like the Protestant Church) has always emphasized the importance of independence from "worldly" concerns such as political policy, the price of this freedom is that Buddhism must rely on the reciprocal relationship between monk and laity at a grassroots level which cannot be manipulated by any politician. By supporting the monastic community, the householders maintain the intactness of the Triple Gem for perpetuity — for the peace and harmony of society and the world at large. It is not difficult for well-intentioned householders to understand the importance of the first four duties of the householder towards the monastic community — however, in the society of the present day where even the media find it profitable to sensationalize the laxity of a miniscule minority of members of the monastic community — the repureussions are having a negative effect on the whole monastic community throughout the world. No small number of formerly dutiful householders exposed to such sensationalism have discontinued their support for the monastic community out of uncertainty as to which monks arc practising in earnest. EFTA00286657

Thus it falls upon earnestly practising monks to co-operate in trying to salvage the tarnished image of the monastic community — because if the faith of the Buddhist laity is allowed further to deteriorate, eventually the laity will lose their understanding of Buddhist principles — becoming capable of heinous social crimes or of defecting to other religions. Such people will only add to the fragmentation and internal divisions which already exist in society. E.2 Managing your resources When we talk of generosity [dAnaJ in this blessing we mean giving those things which are surplus to our needs. Some people might doubt as to how much they really need or might be unable to distinguish between 'need' and 'want' and hence the Buddha gave guidance about how householders should budget their earnings so that their generosity is neither reluctant nor a burden on the family expenditure. The Buddha taught (/diya Sutta A.iiiA5) that the family budget should be divided into five as follows: I. one part to support the immediate needs of yourself, your parents, your children, spouse, servants 2. one part to extend generosity towards your friends 3. one part which should be saved in case of emergency (for example fire, flood, excess taxation, theft or extortion by malevolent relatives) 4. one part which should be used for five sorts of dedication 1. for one's extended family 2. for hospitality 3. for dedicating merit for the departed 4. for taxes 5. for dedicating merit to the things that you believe in according to your local custom (e.g. ascetics, animals, physical forces and elements, lower deities or higher deities de- pending on your culture) 5. one part to extend support to well-practising monks and ascetics The Buddha did not say that each part should be 20% of your earnings, but he taught that you should budget for each of these sorts of expenditure. As for the "working capital" which you have built up for yourself, the Buddha taught in the SiigalovAda Sutta (D.iii.180ff.) that you should apply one-quarter of your earnings for your immediate needs, one-half should be reinvested in your business and the remaining quarter should be saved in case of emergency. It is up to each individual to decide how much of their income to use as "working capital" and how much to use for generosity. If you budget in this way, you will be able to practise generosity, giving neither too much nor too little. £3 Degree of Generosity As mentioned above, generosity usually refers to giving away what is excess to one's needs. Generosity thus trains one to overcome the tendency to want more and more without end — and to be able to distinguish between 'need' and 'want'. If you have a big plate of food and you know that half will be enough for you, to give the other half to a hungry friend is generosity [dAna]. However in some places such as the "Four Virtues of the Householder" [gharavAsadhamma] (S.i.215; Sn.I 89) the Buddha exhorted his householders to train themselves even to be willing to sacrifice their own convenience for the good of others. In such a case, a hungry man might forgo the whole of his large plate of food for the benefit of a friend who has eaten nothing for three days. Such giving is a more developed form of generosity known as "self-sacrifice" [cAga]. In pursuit of the perfection of generosity the bodhisattva cultivated self-sacrifice to the point he was willing to sacrifice all his material possessions, but also parts of his body such as blood and eyes [upa-dAna-paramitA] and his own life [paramatta-dAna-paramitA]. F. RESULTS OF GIVING F.1 Speed of Outcomes A final point about generosity concerns the reason why some people perform an act of generosity and receive the fruit of their deed immediately. For example, someone is generous and immediately comes into a fortune or is made king or attains en EFTA00286658

lightenment. What is the reason? There is an additional factor in the performance of generosity which influences the swiftness with which the merit will give its fruit. If you look at the set of teachings 'the giving of a noble one' (SappurisadAna Sutta I72) you will find the answer. The Buddha taught that a noble man will give: I. with faith (i.e. with full faith in the favour-able outcome of a good deed): will bring the giver wealth, attractive and trustworthy appearancewith a good complexion; 2. with respect: will bring the giver wealth and endowment with obedient children, spouse and servants; 3. at the correct time; will bring the giver wealth and the wishes of the giver will come to fruition without delay; 4. with the thought to help the recipient; will bring the giver wealth and higher enjoyment of the pleasures of the senses; 5. without coming into conflict with yourself or others: will bring the giver wealth and protection of possessions from fire, flood, misappropriation by tax-collectors, theft and exhortation by enemies of malevolent heirs. F.2 Difference of fruit by difference of type Whenever we do generous deeds, we reduce the influence of greed in the mind, however the degree of the reduction will depend on the purity of the gift, the intention, the recipient and the giver. Apart from these factors, the fruits of ow giving is also influenced by the type of thing we offer is. To take the example some examples of offerings. The first five come from the KiOdada Sutta (S.i.32) — see table below. Therefore, if ever you have the opportunity to cultivate generosity, never let the opportunity pass by unanswered. Sometimes we think of waiting until we are more ready, but often if we wait until everything is ready, the opportunity is gone. G. ILLUSTRATIVE EXAMPLES al Proverb: MahApadayE Sutta (A.iii.50 Those who give the things they like, are wont to receive things that they like; those who give the supreme, are wont to receive supreme things; those who give good things are wont to receive good things; those who give the ultimate are wont to attain the ultimate; persons who give the supreme, the good, the ultimate, will have long life and honour wherever they are born. Offering Example Fruit giving food giving cloth meal for monks robes for long-life, bright complexion, good health, strength, quickwittedncss or clothing giving transport giving light giving shelter giving monks vehicles, shoes, a lift, bust train fare candles, lanterns, fuel oil a place for the good complexion happiness outstanding eyesight everything! long-life, strength, security of personal property wishes will come true, lack of difficulty in times of shortage long-life intelligence, easy attainment of pemtanent property ume-limited giving night, a building buildings, trees receiving guests, those wisdom forgiving, giving life preparing to travel, first I., tying knowledge harvest forgiving others, extending the life of condemned animals, releasing fish a lecture, needed advice .1.% RI, E 15.1: 'HIE M ER I TO R I OUS FRUITS OF VARIOUS SORTS OF GENEROSITY EFTA00286659

G.1 Metaphor: A burning house If our house catches fire, the possessions we can manage to salvage before it burns down will be all we are left with. In the same way, the possessions that are really our own, are those we can convert to merit by the power of our generosity in the space of our lifetime, before the fires of old-age, sickness and death burn up this impermanent body of ours. Dutiya Jana Sutta A.i.156 G.3 Metaphor: Cow and Pig (trod.) The pig was jealous of the cow because the cow seemed to be very popular with everybody. Someone advised the pig,"Don't be jealous — popularity is in proportion to one's generosity. The cow gives her milk daily to make butter and yoghurt and cheese". The pig was indignant saying,"Generous — I'm generous! Look at all the things mankind has to thank me for — my bristles make paintbrushes and my flesh makes all the pork dishes of the world." "Don't confuse the issue," said the advisor, "— all the things the cow gives, she gives while she is still living!" Ever wondered why the people who are only generous in their will are never very popular? G.4 a CEOasAtaka Brahmin (DhA.iii.002ff) There was once a couple who were so poor that they only had a loincloth each and between them they only had a single shawl. If the husband went out of the house with the shawl then the wife had to hide in the house. If the wife went out of the house, the husband had to stay home. They couldn't go anywhere together because they only had a single shawl between them. One day the husband went alone to hear the teaching of the Buddha. He was filled with faith and thought to offer the shawl to the Buddha. He took off the shawl, then thought of his wife at home and changed his mind. He listened to the sermon further until midnight and again he was filled with faith to offer the shawl — but when he thought of his wife, he changed his mind again. He listened to the sermon further almost until dawn and this time when he was filled with faith, he offered the shawl to the Buddha without any further hesitation, while exclaiming the words, "Cittame Cittame" meaning "I have conquered (it), I have conquered (it)." King Pasenadi was sitting nearby. If anyone shouts anything like this near a king, they will normally have their head chopped off— but the king was interested to know what he had conquered. The poor man said that he had conquered his stinginess. The king thought, "such a person is rare" and therefore set the man up in life with a standard of living fit for a millionaire.The man offered everything he had been given to the Buddha except for a shawl for himself and one for his wife. The king therefore gave the man even more possessions. In the morning the Buddha revealed to the rest of the monastic community that if the man had managed to conquer his stinginess since the beginning of the sermon, he would have been made four times as rich. If he had conquered his stinginess at midnight he would have been twice as rich. His hesitation had blunted the power of his meritorious intention. The Buddha concluded that if anyone ever has the faith to do a good deed, then they should quickly do that good deed before the intention is overtaken by stinginess. G.5 E.r. Sumedha Hermit (1130f) At the fruition of the ninth asaikheyya kappa of pursuing perfections the bodhisattva was born as a hermit called Sumedha. He trained himself in meditation until attaining magical powers — being able to fly through the air. One day he travelled in the air and saw all the people of a certain town building a road. He asked why they were building the road. They replied that the Buddha Dipalkara had already arisen in the world so they were creating a road to receive the Buddha. Sumedha the hermit asked permission to rebuild part of the road for himself, and the people of the town permitted him. They thought he would use his hermit's powers to magic the road to completion, so they gave him a piece of road that ran over a piece of subsided ground, with a deep hole in it. Sumedha wanted to cultivate generosity the 'hard way' in order to fulfil his Perfections so instead of using magical powers he started to mend the road by the EFTA00286660

sweat of his brow. Consequently, he had not finished leveling his piece of road when the Buddha and his disciples reached the place. Sumedha thought, `the road I have built is not finished — never mind, only two metres remains — so I will lie down in the hole in the road myself. When the Buddha arrived, he bowed at the feet of the Buddha and invited the Buddha and all of his disciples to be his field of merit and allow him to be a human bridge for them all to traverse the unfinished piece of road. The Buddha and all the disciples walked over his body and instead of feeling aches and pains, Sumedha was filled with joy to have been of service to the Buddha. That was the lifetime in which the Dipalkara Buddha gave Sumedha the prophecy of his own Buddhahood that he would need to go on to attain full enlightenment four asalkheyya and 100,000 kappas later. It was also the lifetime that the bodhisattva recognized generosity as the foundation of all other Perfections (as mentioned at 5.4.3 above). G.6 EL Aputtaka millionaire (Main 76ff) One day in the time of the Buddha, King Pasenadi of Kosala (of SAvatthE) came for audience with the Buddha in the afternoon. King Pasenadi said that a miraculous thing had happened concerning a mil- lionaire in his town. (Millionaires in our own time are simply rich people, but in those times `millionaire' was a title bestowed by a king, on wealthy economists. Some in those times may have been wealthy but if they had no knowledge of economics, they would not qualify for such a title. Millionaires had the duty to be patrons who would use their knowledge and their wealth to support the king in the development of the nation. They were almost like bankers of the present day.) A millionaire had died without heir so the whole legacy of the millionaire became national property and had been taken for storage in the palace. When the mil- lionaire was alive he had been so stingy that he would not even allow expenditure to feed himself decently. He would survive only on rice husks and over-ripe fruit sold at clearance prices. He would wear only rag clothes — anyone who saw him couldn't believe he was a millionaire. He would not even buy soap so he always smelled from never washing. The King asked how such a person could be so rich but seemed unable to spend any money on himself. The Buddha looked at the previous lives of the man and told the king that in a previous lifetime, the man had donated food to a paccekabuddha. Arahants, paccekabuddhas and fully-enlightened Buddhas are so pure of mind that anybody giving a donation to any such will accrue a lot of merit On this particular occasion he had instructed his wife to offer food to the paccekabuddha and went to work. When he returned he found out that his wife had given all the best of their food to the paccekabuddha. He thought with regret, "If we had eaten that food ourselves, we would have had plenty to eat for many days. If we had given the food to our workers, they would have worked their hardest for us for many days." When the merit of the donation of food gave its fruit, he became a very rich man, but from his regret at a later time, he was always stingy in any expenditure for his own convenience. He was only able to use remnants because at that time when he regretted having offered food to the paccekabuddha, all he thought of giving the paccekabuddha was remnants. G.7 Ex Daddalla VintAnavatthu (Vv.48) In the time of the Buddha there were two sisters. The elder was called Patta and the younger was called Supatta. Both sisters did as many merits as they could throughout their lives. Patta intended to do more merits than her little sister. When Patta passed away, through the power of her merit, she was reborn as an awl and was born in the second level of heaven (TavatiOsa). Patta the angel wondered where her little sister had gone. Only much later did an angel of very bright complexion introduce herself as her former little sister who was now an angel in the higher fifth level of heaven (Nimmanaradi). Patta the angel was confused. She had always done many more merits than her little sister — how come she had a lower rebirth? Supatta the angel revealed that even though she had had less chance than her elder sister to make generous donations to monks, whenever she did make a merit EFTA00286661

it was always a donation to the monastic community [sa]ghadAna] rather than the personalized merit [paEipuggalikadAna] offered by the elder sister. As the result of her donations, the elder sister's mind was not truly broad, and the merit she accrued was reduced. As for her little sister, although she had less opportunity to make merit, she always offered it with the thought; 'May my gift be received by any monk who practices in earnest — any monk who is a representative of the monastic community will do." Thus when the younger sister passed away, as a result of her mind being broader and having fewer biases in her understanding of Dhamma, she took a more fortunate rebirth than her sister when she passed away. G.8 Ex. Make Brahmin & his wife AmittatApanA .1.vi.521-4, 593 Some people like to ask about the story of Vessandara. In that particular lAtaka,there is an evil man a hundred years old called JEjaka who has a young wife called AmittatApanA (aged 17). Some ask what this old man did to get himself a wife young enough to be his grandchild. AmittatApanA was someone fond of giving but instead of offering fresh flowers to the monks she would always offer only shriveled flowers. When the time came for her to many, then her husband was also old and shriveled. As for Jtjaka, he would always like to offer flowers to the monks that were fresh so when the merit gave its fruit the result was different. For a similar reason, if people habitually offer only sec- ond-hand things to the monks, maybe they will always get a widow(er) for their spouse! G.9 Ex Bhattabhatika the woodcutter (DhA.iii.87ff) There was once a millionaire called Gandha Settht. who inherited a fortune — and considering that he would be unable to take it with him when he died, made every attempt to use up his wealth within his lifetime by every sort of extravagence. He would spend 100,000 kahapanas each day alone on his own food. His extravagence became renowned and he would thus eat in public so that the peasants could come to watch what delicacies he would eat each day. One day a wood-cutter passed by and became so entranced by the millionaire's food that he realized he would die if he didn't get to taste such food. He pushed his way to the front of the crowd and begged the millionaire for a taste of the food. The millionaire refused, saying "If I give you a taste, the rest will be wanting one too." Instead the wood-cutter offered three-years of his work in the service of the millionnaire in order to earn a taste of such food, and the millionnaire agreed. At the fulfilment of three year's labour,the woodcutter (in the meantime nicknamed Bhattabhatika — "the one who labours for a meal"), was sitting at the table about to tuck in to the delicacies he had earned for himself. At that moment a paccekabuddha passed into view on almsround. Seeing the paccekabuddha, the woodcutter hesitated thinking: "that I have had to work three years for this meal must be because I am lacking in merit to find my- self subject to such poverty. If I eat this meal myself it will only sustain me for a day, but if I offer it to the paccekabuddha, it will sustain me for ThElVablialliawfdered a large portion of the food to the paccekabuddha who then closed the lid of his bowl. The woodcutter appealed to the paccekabuddha to receive more food saying: "don't just help me for this lifetime — help me in the next lifetime too!" The paccekabuddha removed the lid of his bowl and the wood-cutter put all the remaining food into the bowl, while making the wish, "may this merit bring me happiness and success in every lifetime, may I know some part of the wisdom of this paccekabuddha". The paccekabuddha gave his blessing to the effect that the wood-cutter's every wish should be fulfilled. The onlookers for the wood-cutter's meal were inspired by the wood-cutter's generosity and how he had given something that was so hard to give. They applauded him so loudly that the millionaire came out to see what all the noise was about. He too was inspired by the wood-cutter's example and shared so much wealth with him that he too was to attain the status of millionnaire. He performed charitable works to the end of his days and was reborn as Sukha who ordained as a novice under SAripulta at the age of seven and very quickly attained arahantship. This is an example of "giving things of better quality than you would use yourself" [dAnasAmE]. EFTA00286662

Blessing Sixteen: Dhamma Practice A. INTRODUCTION A.1 Purification in Buddhism On our path of self-development via the Manual of Peace there are many reasons on many levels of de- scription why to purify oneself is attractive. • dilution of old bad karma with large quantities of new good karma: Supposing you compare the negative things in our past to a spoonful of salt and you compare the positive things in life to a container of water. Supposing you put the spoonful of salt in a glass of water — if you taste the water it will still have the On a personal level: it would be a rare person whciaity taste. If you put the same amount of salt in a isn't proud of the many strengths they consider they have 'Bucket of water you will find that the water still tastes their character — purification can be the way in which oneseity but less so. But what if you put a spoonful of salt builds and improves the strengths already in one's charade% a huge water tank? Now even if you taste the water, At the same time, if one knows oneself to have certain you will no longer be able to detect the salty taste — weaknesses of character, by purification, one can overcomteven though the salt is still there. In the same way these weaknesses. although we may have things we have done in the past • On an interpersonal level: by purifying ourselvesvarieh we regret, we can start afresh in our lives by weaknesses and building on our strengths we can become rafting so many positive things in ow life that the old sort of person who others feel privileged to consider as a negative things become insignificant. friend • direct uprooting of the old bad karma • On a social level: purifying oneself can contribut9h9ough meditation: This method is described in the overcoming the weaknesses and inequalities that are often fRgher blessings of "Austerity" (31) and "Chastity" obvious in our modern society by being one less person witg2). is prone to corruption, nepotism and fraud, while displaying the sort of compassion which makes our society a more pleasant place to live. In Buddhism, according to the Law of Karma, we must receive the retribution of the good and bad actions that we do. (Usually) the only way in which karmic retribu- tion becomes defunct is by giving its fruit. However, rather than just sifting and waiting for one's karma to run out, the Buddha suggested two ways to purify oneself: In this blessing we consider pure living at the level of the householder — leaving purification at the more intense monastic level to later blessings. A.2 Buddhist Purification compared to that of other religions In its approach to purification, Buddhism is rather unique when compared to other religions. In Chris- tianity (esp. Catholicism), if a Christian breaks a commandment, he will go to confession with a Blessing Sixteen: Dhamma Practice 197 EFTA00286663

priest in church. In that way, he can absolve his sins. Although confession has an important role in Buddhism too (primarily monastic) from the point of view of declaring one's intention to renew one's effort to overcome evil deeds after having broken a precept — it is not seen as a way of overcoming the consequences of the evil done. Supposing Mr. A punches Mr. B in the street and subsequently confesses it to someone he respects, Buddhists would see this as helping Mr. A to feel better about it, and to avoid repeating his behaviour — but it doesn't help Mr. B. feel any better about his swollen nose! — i.e. the consequences, even on a superficial level, do not go away because of the confession. In Hinduism, there is also a way of purification — bathing in the River Ganges on hill-moon days. Hindus believe they can rinse away their sins with river water. If sin were really washable, then presumably it is a sort of bodily dirt, rather like dried sweat? The Buddha however, concentrated on the residue of evil deeds left as defilements in the mind. He said that you can wash your mouth out a hundred times a day, but it doesn't get rid of the evil effects of the bad speech that comes from your mouth.You can wash yourself in the river a hundred times per day, but it doesn't get rid of the effects of the evil bodily acts which you have done. This blessing deals with the Buddhist approach to mind purification — specifically by the technique of "dilution". A.3 Definition: Practising Dhamma The Pali word we use for Dhamma Practice is "dhammacarit•a". This word is the compound of two words — Viitinimal and `cariya'. `Dhamma' is a word which has anything up to forty different meanings, but for our purposes in the study of Buddhism it means `correctness, `goodness', 'purity' or `what the Buddha taught'. Sometimes 'dhamma' means 'phenomena' — which is a neutral term applied to positive and negative things — for example, aging, sickness and death are all sdhammasi. In English we capitalize Dhamma when it is meaning goodness, purity or the Teaching of the Buddha and leave it with a small `d' when it refers just to phenomena or mental phenomena. The word `cariyai means 'conduct' — therefore, Whammacariyai means the 'practice of good deeds' or 'correct practice.The sort of deeds that are good or correct are described in more detail below — however, to give practical principles for the purposes of this blessing, we can say that it is that the sort of deeds and conduct which comply with this blessing are those which promote our sense of responsibility for human dignity on three levels: the personal level the interpersonal level the level of society and the economy In this particular blessing we will concentrate mainly on the first two levels of description — not because the social level is irrelevant, but because we will deal with it in more detail in Blessing Eighteen (Blameless Work) and Blessing Nineteen on not consuming the things that lead to economic unfairness. The Dhamma Practice of this achieves two goals: protecting yourself from the effects of the evil we have done in our past (= practice for purity) • furthering our good deeds (= pure practice) A.4 Dhamma Practice in the Sequence of the Blessings The Buddha chose to put "Dhamma Practice" as the sixteenth blessing (i.e. before "Looking after one's extended family" [17] and "BlamelessWork" [IS] be- cause looking after one's extended family and harmless work, both of which concern our dealings with a wider society (the members of which have a wide variety of dispositions) are possible minefields of conflict. Without particular caution in our dealings, we run the risk of spoiling our good intentions or coming into conflict through our own partiality. Thus before embarking on works of "social value" we have to prepare ourselves by studying the right approach to our worldly and spiritual work so as not to bring harm inadvertently to ourselves or others. B. PRACTICE FOR PURITY There are many ways of practising good deeds for your own benefit, but in this Blessing we emphasize the groupings of good deeds which boost our EFTA00286664

sense of responsibility for our own human dignity. B.1 Avoiding the Defilements of Action Firstly, it is vitally important that we avoid the four defilements of action [IcAmakilesa], namely: I. Killing people or animals [pAAAtipAta]; 2. Stealing or taking what is not given [adinnAdAna] 3. Adultery or sexual intercourse outside marriage [kAmesumicchAcara]; 4. Telling Lies [musAvAda]; You will notice that these four forms of behaviour are diametrically to the decent behaviours described in the moral codes of almost any religion. In Buddhism restraint from these behaviours is covered in the first four of the Five Precepts. Keeping the Five Precepts is well known to be the underlying virtue that allows us to be born human. If we want to stay human (i.e. remain humane or respect our own human dignity) then it is necessary to live our lives according to the Five Precepts. Even compromising our behaviour for any single one of the Five Precepts diminishes our humanness by that amount — but that is not the end of it— those human intuitions which we lose are replaced by the same amount of savage or animal instincts. If we are to give up all of our Precepts then we reduce our instincts entirely to the level of a savage [manusso tiracchAno]. The missing fifth Precept, i.e. to restrain oneself from the consumption of alcohol or substances that cloud the mind [surAmerayamajjapantAdatEhAnA veramaAEJ is not included inthe Four Defilements of Action, but reappears later in Blessing Nineteen. A person who cannot manage to restrain himself from these defilements of action compromises their own human dignity — they will have no scruples about constantly taking advantage of other people both in their presence and behind their backs. If they have neither fear nor shame of evil or its consequences then nothing will be left of their respect for human dignity. Anyone who can abstain from the Four Defilements of Action is someone established in self-discipline because they are able to keep the Precepts — they neither harm others nor take advantage of them. Because such a person does nothing to harm society, then it can be considered as social respon- sibility to a certain extent. B.2 Cultivating the Five Virtues [paiicadhamma] If we want to go further than simply avoiding taking advantage of others, in Thai Buddhist culture there is a traditional set of virtues called the "Five Virtues" [palicadhamma] which build on the virtues of abstinence cultivated in the Five Precepts, namely: I. Compassion (controlling all the nasty things that come from the body in a way that will not offend them (personal cleanliness to the eye and to the nose; well-spoken (courteous & express concern for others); good manners; going out of your way to help others; not doing things to create suspicion in others; 2. Generosity: This means giving resources, time, forgiveness, attention, teaching, advice (see Blessing Fifteen for full details); 3. Contentment with one's spouse: This means being faithful to one's spouse (if applicable) and actively practising the virtues that keep a marriage going (see Blessing Thirteen for full details); 4. Truthfulness in everything you say, honesty to yourself, earnestness in every task you do and earnestness towards good deeds. Train yourself to do your very best in every task that comes to you. Train yourself to be a person of principle, honest to yourself and honest to other people. You will find that all ten of the principles above will come automatically; 5. Mindfulness train yourself to keep your mind at the centre of the body the whole of the time whether you have your eyes closed for meditation or open for other duties you perform during your life. Meditate too to give yourself the encouragement to keep practicing because you are getting to the roots of the problems that crop up in life. Cultivating any or all of these virtues will add to the strength of accumulated positivity in the mind EFTA00286665

that will be able to change our mind from negative to positive on a more regular basis. Even if we have negative things in our past — the things we have done and which we may now regret — by building up more and more positive deeds in the way we mention above will allow us to dilute the regrets and anxieties we have in our minds. B.3 Fulfilling the Tenfold Path of Wholesomeness Our aim in cultivating these virtues is to establish oneself in the Tenfold Path of Wholesomeness [kusaladhammapatha] which we have already seen in Blessing Nine: 1. absolutely not Billing. absolutely not Stealing absolutely not committing 4dultery absolutely not absolutely not gossipintabsolutely not speaking darshly. absolutely not chattering ally absolutely not thinking to take the posses- sions of others 9. absolutely removing yourself from vengefulness. 10. absolute possession of Right View C. PURE PRACTICE A second facet of Dhamma Practice is behaving in accordance with purity. This means particularly in our decision-making we must establish our thinking in 'purity' and not allow impure things like defilements and temptation to interfere with what we know is good and fair. Pure practice instils respect for the human dignity of yourself and others. It includes: refraining from bias (see §C.1 below); avoiding the six roads to ruin (see Blessing 19); fulfilling one's duties in the six directions mentioned under the relevant blessing topic: a child's duties to their parents (see Blessing 11, §C.4); a parent's duty to their child (see Blessing 12, §B.3); ing 7, §E.1); • a husband's duty to their wife (see Blessing 13, §C2.3); • a wife's duty to their husband (see Blessing 13, ,§C2.4); • friends' duties to each other (see Blessing 2, ,§D.2); • an employer's duties to their employees (see Blessing 18, §D.1); • an employee's duties to their employer (see Blessing 18, §D.2); • a congregation member's duties to their clergy (see Blessing 15, §E.1); • a clergyman's duty to the congregation (see Blessing 3, §C.2); Cl Lack of Bias The four forms of bias comprise: I. Bias because of desire [chandAgati]: e.g. parents who don't love their children equally because of bias based on desire, may treat their children unfairly; 2. Bias because of hatred [dosAgati]: e.g. teachers suffering from bias based on hatred or anger will behave unfairly towards annoying students, perhaps awarding them less than their due grades; 3. Bias because of ignorance [mohAgati]: e.g. someone who suffers from bias because of ignorance may take decisions based on his own stupidity or lack of information or put someone wicked or stupid in a position of responsibility; a student's duties to their teacher (see Blessing 7, §E.1); a teacher's duties to their students (see Bless 4. Bias because of fear [byAgati].e.g. someone who is biased because of his fears might bear false witness against someone he knows is innocent because someone he is afraid of told him to do so. All forms of bias cause us to trample the dignity of the innocent. Trampling dignity through bias starts with trampling one's own dignity, by twisting the truth in one's own heart and mind. Such bias in our minds then twists the things we say and do to deviate from what is righteous and appropriate. Such behaviours are all the sign of a cowardly and wicked person who has no love of justice — and EFTA00286666

who neither respects his own human dignity or that of others. Anyone who knows that they have been maltreated by someone else as a result of that person's bias cannot help but feel sad, angry or vengeful — and with the progressive accumulation of such negative emotions in the mind — might eventually lead him to act wickedly himself towards the per- son in question in any of the four categories already discussed above in the Four Defilements of Action. Thus we can see how one person's bias might undermine another's responsibility for the human dignityof others. Thus we can conclude that bias undermines a person's responsibility towards human dignity whether it remains unexpressed in a person's mind, or whether it causes resentment in another in response to an unjust action. Bias is very damaging to the cultivation of virtue because the best of intentions such as giving a gift out of "gratitude" can become interpreted as something base like nepotism or corruption if there is even the slightest suspicion of bias. If one can be sure that no-one involved in any situation is subject to bias — one can cultivate good deeds to the full. Anyone who can abstain from the Four Forms of Bias is someone who abides in justice. They will be someone who follows strictly the guidelines of all that is fair. C.2 The Ten Virtues of a Ruler The Buddha taught the Ten Virtues of a Ruler [rAjadhamma] as guidelines for the conduct of those in a postion of power (1.v.378): I. generosity [dAna]; 2. self-discipline [stir* 3. self-sacrifice [pariccAga]; 4. integrity [Ajjava]; 5. gentleness [maddava]; 6. austerity [tapa]; 7. non-anger [akkodha]; 8. non-violence [avihiOsa]; 9. patience [khanti]; 10. non-deviation from righteousness [avirodhana]. Thus whoever you are, you should not infringe the rights of others, twist the truth or bear false witness. You should follow social laws and regulations consistently — not intentionally breaking the law. One should neither slip into the Four Defilements of Action nor pressurize others into such behaviour. Even the simple adherence to consistent honesty, avoiding breaking social laws and traditions by protecting oneself from bias will stop one from stirring society into unrest. Thus anyone who abstains from the Four Forms of Bias can also be considered, to a slightly greater extent, to be a person with social responsibility. D. CONCLUSIONS D.l Relative importance of Pure Practice and Practice for Purity To the casual observer, the consequences of failing to "Practice Purely" (being biased and lacking the Ten Virtues of a Ruler) might appear less serious than those who don't "Practise for Purity"(i.e. with defilements of action, none of the Five Virtues and lacking the Tenfold Path of Wholesomeness) — but on closer examination, the two forms of wickedness have equally devastating consequences. Thus if anyone truly wants to develop responsibility towards human dignity, theymust practice purely and practice for purity — this is what it means to be truly responsible towards human dignity both in oneself and others. D.2 Achieving Dhamma Practice in Everyday Life Some people may wonder whether in the present day you can still find examples of people who can follow the Tenfold Path of Wholesomeness. What can you do if you are still unable to follow all ten perfectly? I. Select your livelihood: If you want to help yourself, first of all, be choosy about the work that you do. Don't involve yourself in forms of work that involve Wrong Livelihood (see Blessing Eighteen). However, if you want to go further than these ten principles in life to shift from simply neutral actions to more positive ones then you have to make a further effort as follows. 2. Never allow yourself to be shoddy: Train your- EFTA00286667

self never to work on anything in a shoddy fashion. Always do your best in whatever task comes to you. This thoroughness will carry over when you come to training yourself in so that you cultivate virtue too. (e.g. preparing notes for a sermon instead of simply making it up as you go along) 3. Avoid bias: Train yourself to be unbiased and fair in whatever you do. You need to be sincere to principles, to your work, to yourself and to others too. 4. Meditate regularly. No matter how smart you are, without meditation you have no chance of being successful in your pursuit of the Tenfold Path of Wholesomeness. The reason is that, even though people know something is bad, they cannot stop themselves from carrying on in the way they have always done. D.3 Overcoming obstacles to Dhamma Practice For various reasons people find great difficulty in earnestly cultivating virtue in their lives: L Low Morale: Some try to practise but give in to themselves easily because they lack morale. Such people need to be close to those who are more experienced — i.e the Wise of the Second Blessing. If you are able then choose a sort of work by which you can avoid having to put yourself in negative situations every day of the year. 2. Bad Surroundings: Supposing you have the morale but your environment doesn't allow you to do as well as you want to, don't give up, but do as much as you are able to. e.g. someone who must work as a hunter for a living but who keeps the Precepts when he can. It gives the mind a rest and reduces the toll of negativity in the mind. Do good deeds whenever you have the opportunity. When it comes to the right time a better opportunity will present itself. E. ILLUSTRATIVE EXAMPLES E.I Er. Kukku JAtaka (1.396) On the occasion of giving a teaching to the king, the Buddha related the story of his previous birth as the counsellor to King Brahmadatta who at that time was an unjust ruler. After waiting a long time for a tactful opportunity to correct the king's ways, one day the two visited a building under construction in the royal park.The roofing is not complete and the rafters had just been laid in place. The king asked his counsellor how the rafters could stay in place, and having found his opportunity, the counsellor said that just as the peak of a roof will fall, unless tightly held by the rafters, a king will soon fall from power unless supported by subjects who have been won over by his righteousness. As a lemon must be eaten without its peel, so must taxes be gathered without violence. Like the lotus, unstained by the water in which it grows, is the virtuous man untainted by the world — therefore his majesty should give up his extortion of unfair taxes and various other injustice driven by bias and de- filements of action. £2 Ex. Temiya the Mute (1.538) The bodhisattva was born as Temiya, son of the king of Kasi and Candadevi his wife. As a baby he lay in the lap of the king as he pronounced death sentences on robbers brought before him. Temiya recollected past lives when he had done the same and suffered for 20,000 years in Ussada Hell as a result, therefore he feigned dumbness to avoid having to take the throne. Eventually, when he was sixteen his execution was ordered. As his grave was being dug, he confided his resolve to become an ascetic to Sunanda the gravedigger. Sunanda was impressed by his words and released the bodhisattva to become an ascetic. His parents were informed and upon visiting Temiya's hermitage, they heard his preaching and all became ascetics too. Citizens of Kasi and three neighbouring kingdoms followed their example. Temiya's parents were identified with the parents of the Buddha, Sunanda with Sariputta. £3 Et MahAdhammapAla JAtaka (1.447) There is a story of when the Buddha went back to visit his father King Suddhodana. The King told him the story that someone had told him that his son had already died as the result of his practice of EFTA00286668

self-mortification. But the King had not believed him. He had more confidence in his own son than that. The Buddha told him that it was not the first lifetime that the King had had such confidence in him as a son. In a previous lifetime when the Buddha had been studying in a town away from home with his teacher DisApAmokkha, a young student died. The Buddha told his teacher that where he lived, no-one younger than 100 could die. The teacher didn't believe him, so took some goats bones and took them to the Buddha's father saying that he had returned the bones of his son who had passed away in the course of his studies. At that time the Buddha's father had not believed him either. Not even the children in that village would believe him. The reason why everybody in that village was so long-lived was that for seven generations, everyone in the village had been practicing all of the Tenfold Path of Wholesomeness described above. E.4 Er. RAjovAda JAtaka (1.334) Once the king of Benares, wishing to discover if he ruled justly, travelled about in disguise, and, in the course of his wanderings, came to the Himalayas, where the Bodhisatva lived as an ascetic. The ascetic gave him ripe figs, and, when asked why they were so sweet, explained that the king of the country was evidently a just ruler. The king returned to his kingdom and ruled unjustly for a while — returning again to the hermitage, he found that the figs had become bitter. EFTA00286669

Blessing Seventeen: Looking After One's Extended Family A. INTRODUCTION A.1 Place of Blessing Seventeen in the sequence A notable quality of the numerical teachings of the Lord Buddha are they become successively deeper in the order in which they are taught. There is never an example of teachings of the Buddha skipping details. Dhamma is like a coastline which gets progressively deeper as you go further and further out to sea until at its furthest extent it comes to the deepest point at the bottom of the ocean. (Uposatha Sutta: Ud.5 I) If you learn the teachings in the order they were intended, you will be able to discern the progression of complexity that is contained in the order. It is not like conventional work where you can do things in any order. Furthermore, in Buddhism we always start with ourselves and gradually expand the circle of influence of our good deeds for the benefit of those around us. With the Manual of Peace, we start with ourselves, learning about how to do good deeds, we learn how to make ourselves useful to society. Once we have taken care of ourselves, only then do we turn our attention to looking after others in our family. We start by looking after our own parents, offspring and spouse. Once our close family is harmonious and welloff,we can further enlarge the influence of our good deeds to look after our extended family. From our extended family we can spread the goodwill further and further until our goodwill extends to everyone in the world. Looking after our extended family looks as if it ought to be easy but when it comes down to it, it is not as easy as we imagined. You may have heard examples of families where the whole of the family has always helped one another until everybody in the family manages to set themselves up properly in life. On the other hand you may have heard of families where the internal politics is so complicated that no-one dares to associate with them. One strange thing for "care of the extended family" is that instead of tacking it on to the end of blessings eleven, twelve and thirteen as the fourteenth Blessing, the Buddha first inserts teachings on how to earn our living (Blessing Fourteen), the art of generosity (Blessing Fifteen) and how to practice Dhamma (Blessing Sixteen) in between. Some people might dismiss this as insignificant, but there is a reason why looking after our extended family comes much later than looking after our close family: • it is not so urgent as looking after the members of our close family. • it is a major investment of time, energy and money. • done in a clumsy way, it might be misunderstood as favouritism or nepotism. Thus we need to know how to earn our living in the proper way first so that we will have a good enough financial position to help others. Also we have to practice Dhamma, ie. we must be fair, because otherwise favouritism will creep in as our mo- EFTA00286670

tivation for helping those around us. Instead of making the world a more peaceful place, our bias will make the world worse rather than better. Thus when you help your extended family it must not be in things that are causing a break with the Precepts or with virtue — otherwise some will use this blessing as an excuse for corruption. A.2 Definition: 'Looking after one's extended family' We can divide all our acquaintances in the world into two groups: • our close family: our parents, husband, wife, parents in law and our sons and daughters; • our extended family: all of our blood relations apart from our close family (e.g. aunts, un des, cousins, grandparents etc.), those who we trust and have concern for, close friends (but maybe not those who are no more than ac quaintances or colleagues), spiritual teachers and fellow spiritual practitioners. For the group of our close family because of our debt of gratitude to our parents (see Blessing Eleven) or because if we have a husband, wife or children they are as a result of ow own choice, as we have seen from Blessings Twelve and Thirteen our duties and our fulfilling of the "Emotional Bank Account" [saigahavatthu] towards these groups needs to be unconditional. For your extended family, usually the degree of expected commitment is less. You don't see your extended family every day or have to live with them. Therefore you have space to breath between visits (unlike your close family where you have no space to breath). It may only be now and then that you have the opportunity to help a member of your extended family or a trusted friend, but when you do have the opportunity, you have to make a good job of it, or else it may destroy or make awkward your previously good relationship. Because you have not 'chosen' your extended family voluntarily/intentionally, the expectations for how much support you can give them, is less. It is usually expected to be 'conditional' i.e. to give support, something is expected in return. Thus when we talk of looking after our extended family, we mean giving assistance according to the Emotional Bank Account [salgahavatthu] on a conditional or 'one-off basis. A.3 Finding out who your extended family is Sometimes we are not sure of the size of our extended family (both our blood-relations and our trusted friends), but we will surely find out when we are in our times of need. Once close to Dhammakaya Temple, there was a boy who came and helped with the building of the temple road seven or eight years previously. When the road was finished, there was a lot of surplus timber. The boy had not yet set himself up in life and had no house of his own so the vice-abbot gave him the timber to build himself his first house. The young man was very appreciative of the timber but he admitted that if he had to work on the house himself (he could not afford to hire a carpenter) it would take him many months to complete. The vice abbot asked him how many people he had in his family. Ile said that he was related to practically everyone on the waterfront. The vice-abbot said that within a few days of starting to build his house he would know how many members he had in his extended family — the vice-abbot asked him to go to everyone he thought was one of his extended family and explain that he was short of the wages he needed to employ a carpenter. The man went to everyone who he thought had goodwill towards him. It turned out that all along the waterfront no-one would help him except for two people — his stepbrother who lent him what he could and a farmer from another province who had stayed in the family house of the boy when he had first arrived in town and was looking for a place to stay. Thus from thinking that he had relatives all along the waterfront it turned out that in actual fact he had only two people who were his true extended family — one was a blood-relative, another was a neighbour who remembered a favour. B. IMPORTANCE OF HELPING ONE'S EXTENDED FAMILY B.] We cannot remain independent throughout life Sometimes we are young and independent and we think that we could live self-sufficient in the world without having to take an interest in anyone else. If EFTA00286671

we think we are independent, often it will cause us to think that everyone else should make themselves independent too and as a result we may turn a deaf ear to the pleas for help of others who arc in need. The reality of the situation is that (in spite of the presence or absence of a welfare state) it is only for part of our lives that we can expect to be independent. If we are a child who is too young to look after himself or a senior citizen who is too old to look after themselves, or a wife who is heavily pregnant or if we get ill, all of a sudden we realize that we need to rely on other people too. In times of disaster, such as fire or a death in the family or criminal proceedings, again we have to turn to others for help. Also during the rites of passage of our life, whether we are starting ow first business or getting married or having our first child then again, it is unlikely that we will have a very smooth right of passage without the help of those who are closest to us. Like the lone pine exposed unprotected to the wind we will soon be uprooted if we don't seek the support and shelter of our friends and family. For some people these needs are just occurring from time to time. For others, the need may last for many years. And when the need occurs, the thing which causes people to suffer the most boils down to four main things: shortage of funds/ability to borrow things, shortage of encouragement, shortage of manpower/advice, lack of security. We already met these four needs in previous lessons, especially in the workplace. If we are able to understand the needs (entitled to) by each sector of our family, we will be better able to see the opportunities to help other members of ow family in the things that mat- ter to them. R2 Collective merit of a family needs unity The important thing to understand about helping our extended family is that it promotes the unity and solidarity of our family and society at large. It allows the family or the society we live in to maintain a certain level of collective merit. However, if in a family or society there are a few troublemakers who do nothing to care for their extended family, they can destroy the good name of the family or the society and lead the collective merit of that so ciety to break down — in the way a small number of Thai drug-smugglers have given the whole nation a bad reputation. B.3 Making the world a more peaceful place There are many international organizations campaigning for human rights and world peace — however the Buddha's approach to creating peace was slightly different. Ile proposed that we should try to make everybody in the world into our extended family. If other people don't share this philosophy, it doesn't matter how many peace organizations come into existence, they will not be enough to solve the problems of world peace. We will not even be able to solve the problems of gang fights in the neighbourhood let alone world wars. The thing which really can help the situation are the minds of men who believe the other people of the world do be their true extended family. however, the Buddha didn't say that if everybody in the world is an extended family it will give rise to happiness, he said that 'help your extended family and it willbring its results'. Thus if you come to the real reason for helping our extended family you will see that it is the basis of harmony/unity in society. It is the only value that will spread the feeling that the whole of the world is of the same family. To bring peace to the world you have to start with the smallest viable unit. You cannot start by making the world 'out there' peaceful. It is like someone who wants to build a large skyscraper. One might prepare many blueprints and designs but all this will come to nothing if you don't take cam of the quality of the building materials such as sand and cement then no matter how good your design is the building will soon collapse. However, if you concentrate on the quality of the materials, so that there is no dust or splinters of wood mixed up with the sand, you make a careful control of the size of gravel, you make sure that the steel is not rusted or bent, then apart from building an attractive skyscraper you will also build to last. In the same way, if we want to build a society which is one of quality then we have to start with the buildings blocks of society which are the clos- EFTA00286672

est to us and that means our relations with our ex- tended family. C. LOOKING AFTER YOUR EXTENDED FAMILY C/ Appropriate times to help We have already mentioned that there are certain times when people lose their independence and have special need of the support of the extended family around them. The following circumstances are times when it is particularly important for us to pay attention to looking after our extended family: I. When our extended family fall on hard times and are without refuge. Supposing a child in our extended family is orphaned then perhaps we will take on such a child to look after for herself. 2. When our extended family needs investment to set themselves up in life. Sometimes a family cannot go as far in its education as it would like to because its own family is unable to pay its way into higher education, even though the child has the potential to go further. 3. When our extended family needs to travel but has no transport 4. When our extended family lacks necessary equipment for pursuing their livelihood. 5. When some of our extended family is ill 6. When there is some special occasion e.g. usually we don't pay much attention to our extended family, but on the occasion of the wedding of someone in our extended family, and they need to set themselves up in life, maybe we will help to be the sponsor. Maybe you will help with the expenses involved with a funeral in the family or an ordination in the family. 7. When someone in our family is unjustly accused of something they didn't do. 8. When someone in the family is affected by natural disasters. C2 Emotional Bank Account as the basis of help for one's family There are four main ways in which you can assist your extended family. We call these the Four Bases of Sympathy [sa[gahavatthu]: I. Helping with resources [dAna]: This means giving or lending whatever we can spare which are useful to our extended family. All of these things sound easy but when we come to practising, they are not so simple. All it takes is one of our extended family to come borrowing 5,000 or 10,000 when our salary is hardly enough to cover the month's overheads. If they come borrowing 100,000 you would hardly take their request seriously any more. If we are still in difficulties about being generous to others at this point this is telling us that our cultivation of blessings at the level of Blessings Fourteen and Fifteen is not yet sufficient. If we am not really very earnest or efficient in the work that we do, and we never keep any savings then we still have our weaknesses. Thus if we are thorough in our thinking instead of thinking that it is enough just to cover our own basic needs, we have to think also of the eventuality of our extended family needing to rely on us as well. If you are skilful in the application of these principles you will find that the members of your extended family are always on the increase and you will never be short of help in times of need. Even if beggars come to our door, we should find something to help them with, according to our means. In the old days, men would always keep a little money in reserve for times of need. If anyone came to them in need, at least they would not lose their friendship. (see budgetting scheme of Blessing Fifteen §E. 2) If you can't afford to lend them money, at least give them advice. Even if you can't give them advice, maybe you can give them the busfare to reach the houses of other friends who may be able to help more. 2. Endearing speech [piyavAcA]: This means speaking in a way that is not at all upsetting to our extended family and not looking down on them either. Normally we are able to be polite to others the whole of the time. However if we are irritable or in bad mood, even though we may try to say things politely, they never seem to come out as we intended — especially when we have to give reasons for things instead of telling people "just do what I say". The other time when it EFTA00286673

is difficult for us to speak politely is the time when others come asking for help from us but we have to refuse. Refusing in a way that is gentle is no easy thing. If you have never made the effort to speak politely before then it is at this point that you will say something thay you may regret for years to come. Maybe you didn't realize that the 300 or 500 that they have been giving us willingly all these years has been the last cents out of their purse every time. For them they didn't think that the money they gave was insignificant, but they thought of the fact that they were prepared to empty out their purse even to the last cent every time we came asking. If we speak insensitively every time when they have cause to come asking us for help, then that may be the end of any relationship we ever had to them. Just a few ill considered words may mean that we cannot look each other in the eye any more for the rest of our lives. It is very frightening what words can do. It is strange that when we are children we tend not to hide our feelings because we aren't concerned about what other people think of us. Our moods fluctuate between tantrums and laughs thoughout the whole of the day. However, when we grow older, the same is no longer true. A few ill chosen words from another adult and even if they were to come back asking your forgiveness with a gift of a million, you would still be reluctant to speak to them. Therefore start training yourself in endearing speech from this day on, so that when it comes to situations where you are taxed for words you won't risk being ostracised from your own family 3. Lending a helping hand [aUhacariya]: This means helping our extended family out when they have work to be done. Even if you don't have money to lend, you are still strengthening the bonds of friendship within your extended family by giving them a helping hand. 4. Being consistent to one's duty [samanatthattha]: This means giving others familiarity and confidence — and not doing things that create suspicion. You need to conduct yourself in a way befitting your status in the eyes of your ex tended family. Sometimes members of our extended family may have received only a low level of education. Sometimes they may not know the appropriate way to behave in a particular situation. Maybe all they know is that `Whitey' is their grandson — but what they don't realise is that Mr. White is also the Managing Director of a firm. Thus when they visit Mr. White at his work and shout, "Come here Whitey!" at first Mr. White may have to listen patiently to the stream of things they have for him to help them with, but only later, when the situation is more relaxed on both sides will he be able to point out the reasons for things, step by step. If you are not able to help with everything they ask then you must find a way of helping them but in a more feasible way. C.3 Spiritual ways to help 'extended family' Apart from helping people with material things, we can also help people with Dhamma (teachings). To give Dhamma to people is often even more important than the physical things we give to people. It can be especially important when we come to help members of our extended family who are already materially self-sufficient but who are still a long way from spiritual pursuits such as generosity or keeping the precepts. You might invite your aunt to go to the temple but she complains of having too many aches and pains to go to the temple today. Therefore you give her a helping hand by driving a car to pick her up from her doorstep to take her to the temple and return her to her temple in the evening. So she complains that she doesn't have anything to give at the temple, so you say that you have already prepared all the food to offer at the temple and that all she needs to do is to offer it. Thus she agrees to go to the temple and later as she gets more familiar with the customs of the temple, later she will want to go without anyone prodding her — and before long she will want to be generous, keep the pre- cepts and meditate without others having to give her encouragement all of the time. You might have a relative who has already got a good job but because he is still childish and irresponsible he is unable to set himself up properly in life. If you can EFTA00286674

persuade such a person to take leave from work to ordain as a monk during the vacation, and you make all the arrangements for him and make him aware of all the advantages. Then that would be called looking after your extended family spiritually. CA Choosing the son offamily to help It is not every sort of family who will benefit from help you might try to give them. If you would like to maximize the amount of merit and satisfaction you gain from caring for your extended family, give priority to families who: suggested that when the fowler did this, they should all fly away with the net. This they did, day after day, and the fowler returned empty-handed until eventually his wife grew angry. One day, two of the quails started quarrelling and the bodhisattva, hearing their wrangling, decided to go elsewhere with his following. When the fowler came again and spread the net, the two quails started quarrelling and he was able to capture them. D.3 Ex. War in Kahlga (DhAdit 254ff) Kapilavatthu, the town of the Sakyans, and Koliya, the town of the Koliyans were situated on either side of the Rohini Make an earnest effort to help themselves first River. The farmers of both towns irrigated their fields from not the sort who come running to you every time there i river. One year, due to severe drought their paddy and minor problem and never think to try to solve their ownother crops were threatened, and the farmers on both sides problems wanted to divert the water from the Rohini River to their own • Those who are of good conduct, who are gratefollds. Those living in Koliya wanted to divert and channel the humble and courteous — and who aren't mixed up withwater to irrigate their field. However, the farmers from the toads to Ruin' Kapilavatthu protested that they would be denied the use of the water and their crops would be destroyed. D. ILLUSTRATIVE EXAMPLES Al Metaphor: Lone pine cannot survive in strong wind The Lord Buddha taught that all of the trees that stand together in the forest will help each other mutually giving shelter from the gales and storms, sun and rain. By offering each other shelter, each tree is protected from being uprooted. On the other hand the largest tree (the king of the forest) in the forest must endure the strong winds alone and in the end it cannot survive every storm. In the same way if anyone tries to go it alone in the swift currents of society, without the help of any friends and relatives, will eventually come to a sticky end. On the other hand, even if someone in society is not particularly outstanding in any respect, if they have sufficient friends and family who can help them in times of need, they will be able to overcome all difficulties that cross their path. If they run for election, without much canvassing they can soon be elected without much trouble. D.2 a Vattaka JAtaka (1.33) The bodhisattva was once a quail. There was a fowler who enticed quails by imitating their cry and then throwing a net over them. The bodhisattva Both sides wanted the water for their own use only and as a result, there was much and hatred on both sides. The quarrel that started between the farmers soon spread like fire and the matter was reported to their respective rulers. Failing to find a compromise, both sides prepared to go to war. The Buddha came to know that his relatives on both sides of the river were preparing for battle. For their wellbeing and happiness and to avoid unnecessary suffering, he decided to stop them. All alone, he went and appeared in the middle of the river. His relatives on seeing him, laid aside all their weapons and paid homage to him. Then, the Buddha admonished them, asking, 'what do you think is more precious, irrigation water or your royal blood?' They replied "Our royal blood is more precious" "For the sake of some water, which is of little value, you should not destroy your lives which are of so much value. Why have you taken this EFTA00286675