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From: "G. Max" <IIMIMIa> To: Ted Wain Subject: Re: Harmonic Concurrence Date: Mon, 05 Apr 2004 14:41:13 +0000 <html> Thank you - things are getting uglier with every passing moment right now. This fight is shaping up nicely to a cat 10.  If you were a storm watcher I would tell you to get into position as you may never see such a pretty one again - Later G  At 01:12 PM 4/5/2004 -0500, you vvrote: <blockquote type=cite class=cite cite>Ghislaine, Sony to hear things got ugly.  I know that's not how you want things to play out.  However, we can't let them make us feel guilty.  We can feel guilty for nasty things we say that are hurtful when they push us for explanations, but not for our actions lately.  I believe we both have plenty of reasons for where we are, and if we are guilty of anything it was tolerating another situation longer than we should have.  That makes our current actions more shocking to them, as we probably tolerated way more than most people would have over the last several years.   I know our situations are completely different, but I believe there is a similarity there too.  For once we are in control of our own happiness, and for years we never thought of our happiness first.   We thought of others first, and we were just generally happy people going through life.  We got our happiness from making others happy, and felt very fortunate for all we had.  We built a lot, did a lot, got a lot, and lived a lot, so we never stopped to look at what we were missing..  Then something changed.  Completely separately we started asking questions of ourselves, and looking at things differently.  We had what we wanted on some levels, but we were missing something massive. Before we even met, we knew there was more out there and made a decision to find it.  We were no longer happy, and couldn't fake it any longer mbsp; Then we meet, and bang.  Both of us believe we have found something that can make us truly happy.  On all levels.  We know how happy it makes us when ever we are together, and we believe that can last for a long long time. Selfish, maybe.  A redirection of our selflessness, possibly. Perfect harmony, could be.  We finally met someone who seems to give as much as they get, and everything seems to be in perfect balance for once.  Magic happened when we met, and it continues.    EFTA00582414

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In the end, it's our happiness, not anyone elses.   And we shouldn't feel guilty wanting to be happy.  We will try to minimize the collateral damage, as it is core to who we are.  We are pleasers, we want everyone to be happy, everyone to have a good time, and no one to think poorly of us.  When we see someone in pain, we instinctively want to take it away.   It hurts us to see someone we care about hurting.  We then blame ourselves, as always, for way more than we should.  The other people in our lives have definitely under-estimated where we are. They both think we're in a phase where we'll grow out of it, or one of us is going to wake up, and say "yew" as you say.  Neither realizes that we'll never go back to the way things were even if one us got hit by the proverbial bus.  Yet our relationship is very real, so the enemy is becoming real to them.    As more details unfold to them about us, and as things progress with us, the true battle will begin.  We will also underestimate how hard that could be, and the toll that could take.  In instances like this a good rule of thumb is to take the worst you can imagine things getting, take it times 2, and that might be close to how ugly it could get. Real life is more bizarre than anything we can make up, we know that.  So we must be strong, and we must keep the goal in sight.  To me, the goal is what life is all about.  And life is about the goal we are pursuing. They are one and the same.  The negative consequences we have to go through, while painful and a massive distraction, won't be important.  We can take it, and hopefully others won't get hurt in the process. If they get drug in, we will mend the wounds.   We're good at that.   Nothing truly worthwhile is easy, and ifs going to get harder on some fronts before we get to be completely where we want.  I've seen a clear picture of that, and I'm going to do everything in my power to get to that place.  It's a very very good place, and the key is us being able to completely be together.  To be one.  That's what I want, and I'll fight to get it if I have to.  I love you Ghislaine, Ted.  </blockquote></html> EFTA00582415

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